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Network Working Group                                          A. RamosRequest for Comments: 2323                                          ISICategory: Informational                                    1 April 1998IETF Identification and Security GuidelinesStatus of this Memo   This memo provides information for the Internet community.  It does   not specify an Internet standard of any kind.  Distribution of this   memo is unlimited.Copyright Notice   Copyright (C) The Internet Society (1998).  All Rights Reserved.1. Abstract   This RFC is meant to represent a guideline by which the IETF   conferences may run more effeciently with regards to identification   and security protocols, with specific attention paid to a particular   sub-group within the IETF: "facial hairius extremis".   This document will shed further illumination on these problems and   provide some possible solutions.   This memo provides entertainment for the Internet community.  It does   not specify an Internet standard of any kind, but is rather   unstandard, actually.  Please laugh loud and hard.2. Introduction   It has come to the attention of THEY [1] that a certain "facial   hairius extremesis" of the male variety of the species "homo sapien"   of the sub-culture "computeris extrordinarisis" have overrun the IETF   conferences and thus led to the break-down of many identification and   safety protocols.3. Per Capita (Anecdotal) Evidence   While collecting research about the sub-group "facial hairius   extremis" (FHE), it was noted that the per capita appearance of FHEs   at IETFs was largely disproportional with the existence of FHEs in   the world-at-large.  In fact, the existence of facial hair at all   within the IETF community is extraordinarily common among the males   of the group.  Apart from ZZ-Top and WWF Wrestling, it is not   possible to find more facial hair within any occupational group.  InRamos                        Informational                      [Page 1]

RFC 2323      IETF Identification and Security Guidelines   1 April 1998   this author's own experience the average amount of men with long-term   facial hair is less than 20%.  Long-term versus short-term facial   hair is a very important distinction as short-term facial hair, also   known as the temporary illness "goatee universitis" (which symptoms   range from full goatees to the less popular chin-goatee) is a common   affliction for university-based males.  Per capita (temporary) facial   hair can go as high as 40%.  However, among the males of the IETF the   per capita long-term facial hair is as high as 60% [2].   Ordinarily, this abundance of long-term FHE would not require that an   RFC be written.  However, increasingly there have been issues   regarding mistaken identification.  For security purposes as well as   ease of identification, this RFC will serve to clarify these issues   and hopefully provide a solution for them.4. Mistaken Identification Syndrome (or "Are you --jon. or Scott?")   I was speaking to a very well-known network researcher, I'll call him   --jon., who tells me that he is often mistaken for a SOBbing Harvard   person.  --jon. says, "People tell someone to look for me or him and   say that I'm about so-tall with a big white beard, and suddenly   people are coming up to me and saying, 'Hi Scott' and he often tells   me that he is mistakenly hailed as, '--jon.'.  Often the mistake is   made solely on the appearance of our facial hair."   Another story --jon. told me is that once a woman called looking for   a computer researcher but only having a first name and physical   description.  The receiptionist asked for the description and the   woman said she was looking for an older Caucasian man with a beard.   The receptionist reportedly blurted out, "they all have beards!!!!"   On a more personal note, two researchers who were both employed at   USC/ISI shaved their very famous facial hair and were both   unrecognizable to friends and co-workers alike.  If it weren't for   B.M.'s Grateful Dead T-shirts and lack of shoes, or R.V.M.'s voice I   would have never recognized them.5. Security Considerations   It is obvious to this researcher that facial hair of any variety is a   very recognizable characteristic.  Indeed, when giving a description   of a male who has facial hair, it is always one of the first   characteristics given.  Ordinarily this would not be a problem, since   facial hair in the world at large is below 20%.  However, when used   as a description at IETFs, disaster can insue.Ramos                        Informational                      [Page 2]

RFC 2323      IETF Identification and Security Guidelines   1 April 19986. Solutions   There are two parts to my proposed solution: the role of the seeker   and the role of the FHE.   For those who are seeking a FHE of known identity:      -It is important to recognize these men as individuals.         Just because a man has the facial hair you are looking for,         please stop to inquire if you have the correct person.  Think         of what a blow it is to a person's ego to be constantly         misidentified, and think of how annoying it is to be hailed by         someone across a crowded IETF room and they are yelling the         WRONG NAME.  So remember to look, identify, and ask BEFORE you         begin rambling on about some Internet stuff.   For the FHE:      -Give proper signals when being sought.         If someone mistakenly calls you the wrong name, do not lose         heart.  Count to 10 and commonly reply, "You must have mistaken         me for so-and-so, I am not that person.", and walk away.  Also,         if someone calls you from across a room, raise your your arm,         smile and wave vigorously in affirmation or raise your arm,         shake your head and give them a sign that you are not who they         are looking for.  As an FHE it is part of your responsibility         to understand that facial hair is an extremely identifiable         physical characteristic.  Understand that non-FHE people do not         mean any harm.7. Conclusion   In closing, I hope you found this RFC worthwhile and that it raised   some interesting points.  I also hope that I was able to further the   cause of FHE and to make everyone's life a little bit easier. ;^)8. References   [1] THEY       THEY, "We Who Everyone Quotes But Doesn't Know Who We Are", Pop       Culture, April 1998.   [2] 60% of IETF men have facial hair       A. Ramos, "Damn, A Lot Of Men Here Have Facial Hair", ISI Talk,       September 1997.Ramos                        Informational                      [Page 3]

RFC 2323      IETF Identification and Security Guidelines   1 April 19989. Acknowledgements   I would like to thank the men of ISI who inspired me to write this   RFC.  I hope that my work will make life easier for you, and that the   cases of mistaken identity will not be as common in the future   because of this RFC.  I understand your plight and feel for you.   Good luck.   Thanks to my life partner, Martin, who's reoccuring affliction of   goatee universitis is a constant source of joy for me.10. Author's Address   Alegre Ramos   USC/ISI   4676 Admiralty Way #1001   Marina del Rey, CA 90292   Phone: 310-822-1511 x153   EMail: ramos@isi.eduRamos                        Informational                      [Page 4]

RFC 2323      IETF Identification and Security Guidelines   1 April 199811. Full Copyright Statement   Copyright (C) The Internet Society (1998).  All Rights Reserved.   This document and translations of it may be copied and furnished to   others, and derivative works that comment on or otherwise explain it   or assist in its implementation may be prepared, copied, published   and distributed, in whole or in part, without restriction of any   kind, provided that the above copyright notice and this paragraph are   included on all such copies and derivative works.  However, this   document itself may not be modified in any way, such as by removing   the copyright notice or references to the Internet Society or other   Internet organizations, except as needed for the purpose of   developing Internet standards in which case the procedures for   copyrights defined in the Internet Standards process must be   followed, or as required to translate it into languages other than   English.   The limited permissions granted above are perpetual and will not be   revoked by the Internet Society or its successors or assigns.   This document and the information contained herein is provided on an   "AS IS" basis and THE INTERNET SOCIETY AND THE INTERNET ENGINEERING   TASK FORCE DISCLAIMS ALL WARRANTIES, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING   BUT NOT LIMITED TO ANY WARRANTY THAT THE USE OF THE INFORMATION   HEREIN WILL NOT INFRINGE ANY RIGHTS OR ANY IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF   MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE.Ramos                        Informational                      [Page 5]