Keywords: Coming out, family relationships, Hispanic, LGBT, sexual identity, sexual minority, sexual orientation

Design

The current study employs a grounded theory methodology to understand the process by which HSMYYA individuals living in South Florida disclose their sexual orientation to family members and friends (Charmaz, 2014;Corbin & Strauss, 2015). Grounded theory uses an inductive process to generate a substantive theory “grounded” in the participants’ experiences (Charmaz, 2014). Theoretical sampling was used to ensure multiple perspectives were obtained. For example, the first interviews were with gay men, so the researchers actively sought recruitment of lesbians and bisexuals to determine if the experiences of Hispanic gay men were similar to those of Hispanic lesbians and bisexuals. Qualitative methodology was chosen to acquire rich, in-depth accounts of the meanings HSMYYA attach to their coming-out experience in a Hispanic setting.

Recruitment

Recruitment involved disseminating information about the study through the University of Miami’s various LGBT student organizations, the researchers’ contacts in various LGBT community organizations, informal contacts, LGBT-specific social media applications, and snowball sampling. Upon hearing about the study, potential participants would reach out to a member of the research team via telephone or e-mail. A member of the research team provided information about the study and screened for eligibility. To be eligible to participate in the study, participants had to be (1) between 18 and 28 years old; (2) self-identify as Hispanic; (3) and self-identify as gay, lesbian, or bisexual.

Sample demographics

A total of 20 participants were interviewed for this study.Table 1 displays summary statistics for basic demographic information on the participants. Sixty percent of the sample were cisgender male (n = 12), and 40% were cisgender females (n = 8) Thirteen participants identified as gay (65%), five identified as lesbian (25%), one identified as bisexual (5%), and one identified as queer (5%). Participants ranged in age from 19 to 28 years (M = 23.5,SD = 3.3). Sixty-five percent of the participants were born in the United States, and 35% were foreign born, representing five different countries in the Caribbean and South America. The majority of parents were foreign born, representing six different countries across the Caribbean, Central America, and South America. Seventy-five percent of our sample (N = 15) reported being raised Catholic, one participant was raised Mormon, one participant was raised in a nondenominational Christian faith, and three participants reported no religious affiliation. Forty percent of the sample (N = 8) were recruited through LGBT student organizations, while 60% of the sample were recruited from the community using LGBT community organizations, social media, informal contacts, and snowball sampling.

Interviews

Both investigators conducted interviews with participants. Prior to conducting interviews, the researchers created a semistructured interview guide, allowing for new ideas and concepts to be discussed if raised by the participant. The questions were open-ended, non-leading questions designed to encourage participants to share their experiences related to coming out. If necessary, probing questions or prompts were used to further elaborate concepts. All participants were screened for inclusion criteria. Before conducting the interview, participants were given a consent form and verbally consented to having the interview conducted. All interviews were audio-recorded face-to-face and lasted approximately 30–60 minutes. Due to the sensitive nature of the topic, interviews were held at locations convenient for participants. All interviews were transcribed verbatim.

Data analysis

Grounded theory techniques were used to analyze the data (Charmaz, 2014). The data were analyzed using NVIVO 11 (NVIVO, 2015), a data management software program. Initially, descriptive, concrete codes were derived from line-by-line coding, identifying concepts describing the coming-out process of HSMYYA. Next, utilizing constant comparison techniques, which compare and contrast codes, similar codes were collapsed into more salient codes. After establishing initial codes, the researchers developed more focused codes by either raising the initial code to a second-level code or creating a second-level code that subsumed first-level codes. Lastly, relationships were drawn between the second-level codes to develop thematic codes about HSMYYA coming-out experiences. Data collection ended when saturation, the concept that all of the information fit into established themes, was reached. The constructed themes recurred frequently in the data, were linked together, and explained much of the data variation (Sherman & Webb, 1988).

The researchers sought to demonstrate qualitative reliability and validity in several ways. FollowingGibbs’ (2007) advice on how to demonstrate qualitative reliability, the researchers verified the transcripts, constantly compared data to ensure the codes were used consistently, coordinated communication, and shared analysis among the researchers. In addition, to ensure qualitative validity, the researchers provided rich, thick descriptions of data, spent prolonged time in the field, and conducted a member check (Creswell, 2014). To conduct the member check, the researchers sought feedback from the participants regarding the findings of the study. During this step, preliminary results in bullet form and a survey were developed so that participants could identify whether an experience happened to them and rate the extent to which they believed it was likely to happen to others. Participants were asked to rate the statement as occurringoften, sometimes, never, ornot sure. The survey was developed using a Web-based data collection platform (Qualtrics, 2015) and disseminated via an anonymous link to four research participants, half of whom responded to the survey. The link was then sent out to four additional participants, with one completing it. Participants were recruited for the member check if they expressed interest in receiving results when the data was analyzed.

Recognizing sexual identity

Most of the participants described a point at which they recognized their sexual orientation, although at the time some may not have been able to understand what they were feeling. A 28-year-old female described the experience: “I didn’t really know how to name that thing or what that thing was until I was maybe 14 or 15 years old. And it was because another girl who was interested in me approached me about it. And I suddenly realized, and it all kind of clicked into place for me, like, ‘Oh, that’s what this persistent feeling I’ve had my entire life is.’”

Once realizing their sexual orientation, some study participants struggled with conflicting aspects of their identity, such as religion or culture, and thus attempted to conceal or suppress their sexual orientation. A 28-year-old male recalled, “My desire to be so connected with, with the Church and God and all that, I guess I suppressed my sexuality and just felt different.” To conceal sexual identity, some participants reported dating members of the opposite sex. A 22-year-old female recalled, “I was really embarrassed and ashamed of my sexuality…I hated it. I tried pushing it to the side. And between going on dates with girls, I went on more dates with guys, and it just made me feel worse. I felt like I was pressuring myself to like something that I didn’t. And it was a really hard time for me…I would lock myself in my room and just cry because I was so ashamed.”

Once recognizing their sexual orientation, some participants sought social support from friends or through interaction with the LGBT community. Reflecting on his experience, a 20-year-old male stated, “I can say that the most important is having someone, a friend or anyone you can actually talk to about these feelings at a young age.” While engaging with the LGBT community, a 28-year-old male stated, “Hearing other people going through the same experiences, that helped me. Seeing people on the other side, having parents that are loving, accepting, and all that, all that they went through. You know, getting exposed to that, that gave me a lot of hope, too.”

Contemplating self-disclosure of sexual orientation

Most of the participants described the first step in their sexual identity self-disclosure as beginning when they contemplated whether to disclose their sexual orientation to their family and friends. For some, their existing relationships with family or friends prompted their decision whether to disclose their sexual orientation. While contemplating disclosing her sexual orientation to her father, a 22-year-old female stated, “I thought about it a lot, and I don’t know. I have no idea. Because sometimes I feel like my dad is super open minded, and other times I feel like he’s not. So it’s like, I don’t really know him in that aspect. I don’t really know how he would react. So I don’t know. I’ll probably end up telling him someday, but right now I’m not so sure about it.” This participant decided not to come out because she perceived uncertainty about her father’s reaction to her sexual orientation.

Some participants expressed fear of possible consequences related to disclosing their sexual orientation such as being judged or treated differently, anticipating a negative reaction, being financially cut off, being kicked out of the house, and disappointing family. A 28-year-old male explained, “I think the hardest part was I felt like I was gonna disappoint my parents or that I wasn’t gonna be accepted and that I was gonna be kicked out of my house. And honestly, that’s one of the reasons why I waited until I was 22. I had just graduated college, and I had a job.” These fears led some participants to decide not to come out to family or friends until they were more independent.

Deciding not to self-disclose sexual orientation

After contemplating coming out, some participants chose not to. When rationalizing not coming out to friends, they reported not disclosing sexual orientation if they perceived the friendship would be altered, or if they did not feel particularly close to a friend, believing sexual orientation was irrelevant to maintaining the friendship. A 21-year-old male professed, “Regarding friends and people that surround me each day, just the fact that they would see me in a negative light and that’s just the message that’s in the back of my head my whole life basically from things that you hear in everyday life. So yeah, my own friends, like people who I’m close to and people who I trust would step away from me, would see me negatively. I was afraid it would change our relationship.”

When explaining why they did not come out to their family, participants maintained that several reasons prevented coming out to family members. First, some participants believed parents would broadcast their sexual orientation throughout the family. A 20-year-old female explained that disclosing sexual orientation to family would open her up to pejorative comments from the rest of the family: “The minute that I tell my parents, it’s not just telling my parents. It’s telling my parents, my aunts, my uncles, my grandparents. Like everybody.” Second, participants that were aware of their family members’ prejudices against the LGBT community were less likely to disclose sexual orientation. A 21-year-old male recalled his parents’ views on LGBT individuals, declaring, “The only person that I can remember that even my mother knew that was gay, she just hated him. It was more for personality, not sexuality, but that was the only person we had. My dad, I knew he didn’t know anyone and he used the word ‘faggot’ all the time when he was talking to his friends.” Third, participants deferred telling elderly adults, not wanting to cause strife or perceiving that elderly adults might not understand. A 24-year-old male commented, “Why? She’s 99 years old. She’s set in her ways. She loves me regardless. Why am I going to disrupt that relationship if it’s not affecting me whatsoever.” For some, their parents insisted the HSMYYA refrain from revealing their sexual orientation to other family members. After disclosing his sexual orientation to his father, a 19-year-old male declared that his father adamantly stated, “I don’t want anyone to know.” Participants discussed the influence a family’s religious and cultural values played when deciding not to disclose sexual orientation. A 20-year-old male remarked, “I feel like it’s more hidden with my family, but I just feel like they kind of know, but it’s like they’re blindsided. They’re very close-minded, I guess. They’re Hispanic, very religious, so they won’t really think of that.” Lastly, some participants contended that conflict avoidance with their family influenced decisions to refrain from disclosing sexual orientation. A 27-year-old male living at home asserted, “I can’t do that now and I don’t like arguments and I don’t want to live in a hostile environment and all that stuff. So it was like I would just delay and delay.”

Because sexual orientation is not ascertained in many cases simply by looking at a person, some participants developed strategies to hide sexual orientation. Some participants stated they would adamantly deny non-heterosexual sexuality if asked or confronted about sexual orientation. For example, a 20-year-old female being questioned by her parents about a relationship with another female retorted, “They would ask me and I would get like defensive. I was like, ‘No, no, like we’re not. There’s nothing.’” Another strategy participants utilized was not initiating conversations about sexual orientation with the hope that no one else would either. A 20-year-old male maintained, “I feel like, unless they ask me about it, or if it’s something that prompts me to talk about that, I feel like it’s more comfortable to go along with the ride until that step comes.”

As a result of not disclosing sexual orientation, participants reported both positive and negative consequences. One of the most frequently mentioned positive consequences of not coming out is perceived financial benefits such as maintaining residence at their parents’ home and not having to pay for living expenses. A 21-year-old male explained, “Maybe by staying in the closet, they do allow me to live under their roof, still address me as their loving son. But, I guess I mean, it kind of sounds rude to say I am staying there for financial reasons because I can’t leave right now. So I would stay in the closet until I can, but as far as benefits go, that’s about it. It’s just being secure and knowing that they’re there … until I bring it out.”

Some participants also described more negative consequences of not coming out. For a 21-year-old male, the thought of disclosing his sexual orientation and keeping his sexual orientation a secret caused difficulty sleeping. He commented, “I was so scared. I was dating someone…I was just really, really scared. I couldn’t sleep very well. I was having trouble eating, trouble studying, having many, many nightmares…It was weeks like this.” A 20-year-old male discerned that not coming out caused him to feel depressed and have suicidal thoughts. He remarked, “It’s really lonely. You just stay to yourself, and you think of all of these things in your own mind. I didn’t tell anyone. I didn’t have anyone to tell because I wouldn’t. But you get suicidal thoughts.” For several participants, living a double life was commonly used to conceal their sexual orientation. Reflecting on living a double life, a 28-year-old male communicated, “I remember my whole college experience I felt like I was living two lives. I will never forget that. I would live my life at home, but I would date in [another city] and other areas so that nobody would recognize me…So I was very strategic in…how I would date because I worried that people would run into me.”

Deciding to disclose sexual orientation

All of the participants had disclosed their sexual orientation to a minimum of three people, providing rationales for disclosing to friends and family. In addition, the participants discussed certain strategies that aided them when deciding how to disclose their sexual orientation. Furthermore, after disclosing sexual orientation, the participants described the reactions of friends and family members, ranging from negative violent reactions to positive embracing reactions. Lastly, the participants discussed the consequences of sexual orientation self-disclosure.

Rationalizing coming out

While rationalizing coming out to friends, participants discussed several reasons for disclosing sexual orientation. For example, participants perceived it was easier to disclose to close friends or friends they knew or assumed also identified as a sexual minority. Referring to a friend, a 21-year-old male stated “I thought he was gay, too, and I thought he was going to come out to me.” One 20-year-old female, who found that becoming more comfortable with her sexual orientation made it easier to disclose, stated, “I’ve gotten much more comfortable with myself and like in all aspects and not just with my sexuality…I just much more…stable, much more sure of myself, much more secure and it makes a hell of a difference.” Several participants discussed that after the initial coming-out experience, depending on the response, subsequent experiences disclosing sexual orientation became easier. Lastly, participants emphasized that they came out to friends because they wanted friends to meet their partner.

When coming out to family, participants provided some of the same rationales for disclosing sexual orientation, such as informing family members perceived to be accepting of sexual orientation and disclosing to family once in a relationship, although alternative reasons were reported as well. When deciding to come out to his grandmother, a 25-year-old male conveyed, “I’ve been toying with the idea honestly only because I’ve actually found somebody I do want to marry.” Some participants felt they could disclose sexual orientation once they were no longer living with parents. A 22-year-old female stated that she felt comfortable disclosing sexual orientation once she had moved out of her parents’ residence because she was in a “safe” place, explaining, “So I had a dorm…That was another big thing that helped me feel more safe about coming out was that I didn’t have to go back to that house if they didn’t accept me.” A 22-year-old female rationalized disclosing her sexual orientation to end uncomfortable discussions, stating, “I feel like family should know each other very well and, you know, part of that is knowing that I’m gay, and so all the questions stop. You know, like, ‘Why don’t you have a boyfriend? When are you going to have babies? When are you going to get married?’”

Being outed

In some instances, participants were put into uncomfortable situations in which they were confronted about sexual orientation by family members or felt a need to disclose sexual orientation to family before someone else revealed it. While not the participant’s ideal vision of how to disclose to his parents, a 28-year-old male explained his feelings when he felt the need to disclose his sexual orientation to his parents after learning that another relative might out him: “Yeah, I had my nerves when I came out to my parents. But coming out to my mom kind of came out of nowhere. It was like, ‘Oh, oh, I have to do this now?’ Like someone shoved me on the stage and said, ‘Here. Start.’ I’m like okay.”

Strategizing self-disclosure

After rationalizing coming out to family or friends, participants described overt and covert ways they disclosed sexual orientation. For some, it was easier to come out to friends and family through context, such as bringing a same-sex partner to a function or mentioning someone of the same sex is attractive. A 21-year-old male disclosed to his father by introducing partners to his father, commenting, “He knows that I’m gay, and I’ve never actually like, ‘Hi, I’m your son, I’m gay,’ but he knows that I’m gay. He’s met my ex, he’s met my past partners.” For others, they decided to explicitly state they are “gay” “lesbian,” or “bisexual.” After recognizing his sexual orientation, a 28-year-old male directly disclosed his sexual orientation to his mom, stating, “I decided to tell my mom. We went actually to the pharmacy one night and on the way there, I was driving and I told her…So I told her, ‘Look, Mom, I realized something recently. I feel like God has taken me to a place where He made me realize something.’ And she’s like, ‘Okay, well tell me.’ And I said, ‘Well, Mom, I’m gay.’”

Initially, some participants who knew they were not attracted to the opposite sex told family members that they were bisexual or “confused,” believing this would not be as shocking to parents or that it would give parents hope that their child would end up in an opposite-sex relationship. A 28-year-old male remarked, “I came out and told her I was bisexual because I figured that will at least give them a little hope like for kids or whatever…I think it softens the blow.”

Several participants discussed how technology can both hinder and assist in the coming-out experience. Some participants described instances where family members discovered same-sex adult material or personal text messages, essentially outing the participant. For example, a 21-year-old male’s father discovered text messages, which forced the participant to come out. He recalls, “I was just checking my phone as usual and then that’s when I saw that he had opened all the messages. And there were hearts and stuff all over it. It was pretty obvious and it was a male name.” In another example, while visiting his father, a 25-year-old male reported that his father discovered his sexual orientation by a fluke, recounting, “I had accidently looked up gay porn and he stumbled upon it.” Others used technology to disclose sexual orientation by sending text messages or e-mails to family members.

Coming out did not always occur as planned. Some participants disclosed their sexual orientation while engaged in a heated argument with a family member. In one example, a mother confronted a 24-year-old male about visiting a friend’s house, stating that he was lying and she was going to head over to that friend’s house to see if it was true. Realizing he was caught lying, the participant told his mother, “Do you really want to know the truth? … Well, I was at a gay club with my boyfriend. And if you like it, that’s fine. If you don’t like it, then I’m gone. I’m gonna go and stay with him, but I’m not gonna not be who I am.” Other participants described having to come out multiple times to the same family member because the family member failed to acknowledge or acted unaware of the participant’s sexual orientation. Having previously come out to his mom, a 27-year-old male told his mother, “‘Listen, I’ve tried. I can’t do anything about it,’ and we left it at that. I’m like ‘We don’t have to talk about it, I just need you to respect me.’”

Reactions to coming out

Participants received positive, neutral, or negative initial reactions from family and friends regarding sexual orientation. Positive reactions included showing support and recognizing the participant’s sexual orientation, accepting the participant’s partner, connecting the participant to appropriate LGBT resources, and attending and participating in LGBT activities with the participant. After disclosing his sexual orientation to a friend, a 21-year-old male commented that his friend “recommended a lot of books to read, a lot of movies to watch, you know, trying to expand from what she knew” to increase his knowledge about LGBT culture. After disclosing to her parents, a 21-year-old female remarked, “I think for the most part they’ve been really supportive. They love the person that I’ve been dating. They support it. They care about the person.”

Participants also reported receiving neutral reactions from family and friends in which the friend or family member commented that they knew the participant was LGBT or that the participant’s sexual orientation did not matter. In these cases, the participants discussed not being treated differently in any way because of their sexual orientation. When discussing her sexual orientation with her father, a 22-year-old female stated, “If I brought up that I was dating a girl or anything, he would just be like, ‘Oh, like, cool. How’s it going?’ He wouldn’t, you know, really think of it one way or the other.”

Participants reported family having negative responses to coming out in certain circumstances. Some negative responses arose out of misconceptions about sexual orientation, such as the fear that the participants would influence other siblings and “make them gay” or that being gay is a choice and the participants needed to engage in opposite-sex relationships to convert them. After disclosing his sexual orientation to his brother, a 25-year-old male recalled his brother told him, “Well, you know what? Being gay is a choice. You can choose to be like that or you can choose to…fight it…I have friends who are fighting it.” Other participants stated that parents used their religious faith or quoted the Bible to try to convince them that God did not approve of same-sex relationships. A 21-year-old male, remembering his parents’ reaction, recalled that “They were both crying and my mom was throwing a lot of religious arguments at me and she said they had to respect my decisions, but she wasn’t happy about it and God was not happy about it.” In a few instances, parents became physically, emotionally, or verbally violent toward the participants. A 28-year-old female explained her mom’s reaction, stating, “She was very disgusted by it. And the words and the things she said were all to demonstrate, like, ‘This is disgusting. You’re disgusting and there’s something wrong with you for being this way because that’s disgusting and it’s wrong.’” According to the participants, some parents believed their child’s sexual orientation was influenced by something the parents did while raising the child. A 22-year-old female commented, “My mother would blame herself. She would say that she did something as a mother that went incredibly wrong…She blamed putting me in dance because I was around so many girls.” For some participants, parental response seemed contradictory because parents accepted other LGBT people but were unable to accept their child’s sexual orientation.

Consequences of coming out

Participants discussed the positive and negative consequences that occurred after disclosing sexual orientation to family and friends. The most mentioned positive consequence of disclosing sexual orientation is feeling open about oneself and not having to pretend to be someone else. Reflecting on her life after disclosing her sexual orientation, a 22-year-old female participant recounted, “Everything started to really fall into place in my life and the relationships that I had with other people started to flourish when I truly felt like I am who I am supposed to be and I accepted who I was fully.” Such feelings of openness contributed to increased mental health, including self-esteem and confidence. Reflecting on his coming-out experience, a 24-year-old male stated, “It’s given me more confidence in general. The fact that you don’t have anything to hide gives you the leverage to fight for whatever you want to do.” In addition to improved mental health, some LGBT participants discussed how revealing sexual orientation bettered familial relationships because they could be honest about who they are with family. A 19-year-old male reported, “My mom is very transparent now that she knows so she’s someone I talk to a lot. I share my problems with her. In that aspect, it made my life a lot better because I don’t have to hide that from her.” Several participants discussed feeling connected to the LGBT community since disclosing their sexual orientation. A 22-year-old female commented, “I mean I’m part of a loving community. It’s great to feel comfortable with the people you relate to.” Lastly, a 28-year-old male remarked that after disclosing sexual orientation, he felt empowered by the experience to help other LGBT individuals: “I can definitely live my life truthfully, honestly and I think that’s what I value the most. I feel that living life as who I am instead of who everybody else wants me to be, empowers me to be happy. It empowers me to help people get there, too.”

While some participants reported positive experiences, several reported negative consequences after disclosing sexual orientation. Among the most severe consequences felt by participants is the loss of friends, or parents distancing themselves from the participant. Once his parents learned he was gay, a 25-year-old male reported, “It was at that point that … there was a switch in our relationship, and they have pretty much never gone back. I feel like our relationship has always been forever changed since they came to the realization that I was doing that, and I was lying to them. And then especially when they found out I was lying to them to go, basically, on dates with guys. That was akin to, like, the most insulting thing for them.” He continues, “They really started to get contemptuous, and really started to hate me, I feel, as a son. They really started to build resentment towards me”

Some parents tried to alter their child’s sexual orientation by forcing them into therapy or actively monitoring them to prevent engagement in LGBT activities. Describing her mom’s actions after she disclosed her sexual orientation, a 28-year-old female stated, “She continued to do things to sort of cope with it herself and also to try to curb what she perceived as being this issue that I had. And so she, like, called a bunch of therapists…She was clearly trying to find someone that would say, like, ‘Oh, yeah, absolutely. You should bring her in so we can fix this problem.’” In several instances, participants who had been supported financially by their parents no longer received such support after disclosing sexual orientation.

Some participants have reported the negative experiences improved with time. Ruminating on his coming-out experience, a 19-year-old male stated, “At that moment, I thought it was horrible, but looking at it now in retrospect, I’m like, ‘No, it’s good that it happened. It’s good that we got it over with.’” Yet, even though his relationship with his parents has improved, a 28-year-old male reflected on the impact that his parents’ treatment still has on him. Recalling an argument with his parents regarding sexual orientation, he observed, “Obviously, certain things, you know, you can’t change in your mind like, for example, my mom leaving that day without kissing or hugging me. It hurts. And it is something that will always be there.” While some parents quickly accepted their child’s sexual orientation, other parents took more time to do so, and other parents still have not accepted their child’s sexual orientation. When describing his parents’ attitude change toward his sexual orientation, a 28-year-old male stated, “They had to go through that same journey that I did. So, I had to make peace with that, too. And I was angry at the beginning of that process because I wanted them to love me now. Accept me now. So, I had to accept that fact, too. It’s also their personal journey.”

Cultural factors framing the coming-out process for Hispanics

Many participants explained how Hispanic cultural factors, including gender norms,machismo, familism, and religious values, framed their particular coming-out experience, whether by stalling or preventing them from disclosing sexual orientation, shaping parents’ views on sexual orientation, or impacting the way parents reacted to coming out.

The values ofmachismo, the concept of having pride in masculine behaviors and devaluing feminine traits in men, and the concept ofmarianismo, the view of women as having characteristics of the Virgin Mary and being submissive, selfless, chaste, and hyperfeminine (Stevens, 1973), are often promoted in Hispanic culture. From an early age, some participants were taught specific gender roles that they were expected to follow. For women, the expectation that they would marry and become mothers was constantly espoused. Reflecting on gender roles in Hispanic culture, a 21-year-old female said, “I think even like the roles of the sexes in Hispanic culture is so defined that when you deviate from that, it like throws people off…And they’re very strict roles. So, the fact that there are going to be two people of the same gender throws that off, I think. So, I think that’s one of the harder parts of this is like changing that mentality in my family or even with my friends who are all Hispanic.” Although families viewed it as a problematic, some individuals who had atypical gender expression, such as effeminate males or masculine females, felt it was easier to come out because their families were not surprised when they disclosed sexual orientation.

Some participants discussed how familism, which promotes the familial unit as more important than individualistic gain, impacted coming out. For example, a 20-year-old female discussed how her self-disclosure to the immediate family resulted in members of her extended family learning of her sexual orientation, commenting, “I know that the minute that I tell my parents, it’s like my grandparents, my cousins, my everyone type of thing. So, I feel like more people are involved and I like I know for a fact that they would have no problem like calling me or coming to my house and being like, ‘I don’t think you should do this because of this and that.’” In addition, some family members can also influence other family members regarding sexual orientation. A 24-year-old male commented that “We come from very united families where everybody gets in everybody’s business. So everybody had an opinion and that opinion can influence in a good or bad way…My aunts could have a certain influence on my mother.” Some participants suggested that coming out interrupted the future that parents envisioned for their child. A 28-year-old male reported, “I think it’s more so the disappointment or the loss of life that your parents thought you were gonna have. So it was, ‘I thought you were gonna have kids. I thought you were gonna get married’ which, I mean, you can, but in a different way.”

Religion strongly influences Hispanic culture, particularly regarding sexuality and marriage. Some participants reported hearing negative messages as children regarding same-sex relationships from their church, which caused them to suppress their sexuality or feel guilt regarding their sexual orientation. Referring to religion, a 25-year-old male stated, “It’s just guilt with everything. Like everything has guilt, everything has guilt. Even though you can pretty much confess it away, you should feel guilty that you even went to confession at all. It’s that silent guilt. Yeah, definitely because there is nothing reaffirming gay action in any Bible.” In addition, according to some participants, parents used religion to show their discontent toward their child’s sexual orientation by quoting the Bible, going to a church and praying for their child’s salvation, and telling their child that God is not happy with their sexual orientation. These negative experiences tended to have some participants disassociate from their particular faith. Reflecting on his church’s negative view of same-sex attraction, a 25-year-old male commented, “I kind of lost, also, my faith in God completely.”

However, some participants turned to religion for direction regarding their struggle with their sexual orientation. Some remarked that gay-affirming churches allowed them to feel comfortable, and that religiosity and sexual orientation can coexist. A 28-year-old male explained, “I had the struggles of, at least from being Catholic, to be okay with being gay. So, helping other Latinos that are struggling with spirituality and being gay, showing them that there are other options in the Christian faith that are welcoming.” In addition, the recent stance on homosexuality from the current pope has given some participants hope for the future.

Several participants reported that familial perceptions of what it meant to be LGBT impacted experiences with coming out. For example, a 28-year-old male reported, “I think if my parents or just my community in general would have not had such a negative outlook towards the gay community, it might have been easier. Because I think that also doesn’t help. You hear your grandparents, and they’re like, ‘Oh, those people.’ Or you hear these negative terms, so it’s kinda like this belonging. Oh, well if I come out, now I’m part of ‘those people,’ and I don’t belong here.” Some participants emphasized parental concern for their child’s future because parents believed the child would be bullied, contract HIV, and end up alone. While some LGBT perceptions are rooted in old stereotypes, several participants noted that perceptions are changing. A 27-year-old male commented, “Now you have the Gen X parents that are being coming out to. I feel like the Gen X parents will be more accepting and once it gets to the Millennials, I think they’ll be even beyond accepting.”

Limitations

This study has several limitations that should be acknowledged. First, we acknowledge that Hispanics are a heterogeneous group that have varied life experiences. We also recognize that our qualitative study is based on a small sample from South Florida. As a result, we do not assert that the findings of this study are generalizable to all Hispanics. Second, despite efforts to recruit HSMYYA at different stages of the coming-out process, the researchers were unable to locate any HSMYYA who had not disclosed their sexual orientation to anybody. Identifying participants who had not disclosed their sexual orientation to anyone may have added alternative or additional explanations for not disclosing sexual orientation, as well as information regarding the potential negative and positive consequences of not coming out. Third, the participants in this study were reflecting on their experiences of coming out, which, for some, occurred more than 10 years prior to being interviewed. Recall bias, the potential error that may occur as participants recall past events in their life, may have distorted the participants’ recollections of their experiences disclosing sexual orientation to their family and friends. With that said, several of the participants had recently disclosed their sexual orientation to family and friends, and their experiences corroborated the experiences of those who had disclosed their sexual orientation years prior to being interviewed.

Implications for research and practice

The current study has implications for both research and clinical practice. While the current study focused on the coming-out experiences of HSMYYA, additional research is needed that explores the experiences of Hispanic parents of HSMYYA. Further research could help garner an understanding of how Hispanic parents experience and interpret their child coming out, by including Hispanic cultural values that may shape Hispanic parents’ understandings of sexual orientation. If Hispanic parents initially responded negatively to their child’s sexual orientation self-disclosure but became more positive over time, additional information should be gathered from Hispanic parents about what aided them during the initial time directly following when their child comes out and what helped them alter their response to their child’s sexual orientation.

In addition, researchers could conduct a quantitative study examining several of the factors identified in this study to determine if the results of this study are generalizable to larger samples of HSMYYA. For example, researchers could determine how degrees ofmachismo, marianismo, familism, and religion impact HSMYYA intentions to disclose sexual orientation to family and friends. Some participants in this study discussed how immediately after disclosing sexual orientation, they perceived negative consequences or regretted disclosing sexual orientation. Longitudinal studies can explore the length of time that HSMYYA may experience negative feelings or regret related to coming out.

Health care providers working with HSMYYA can help lessen the impact of familial rejection in several ways. First, providers who are aware of HSMYYA’s sexual orientation can ask HSMYYA about their parents’ reaction to coming out and provide HSMYYA with appropriate support programs if necessary. Second, providers can discuss with parents the impact that negative reactions to coming out can have on HSMYYA, as well as recommend LGBT support programs, such as PFLAG, and online resources to inform parents about sexual orientation and identity development.

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