 | This is ahumorousessay. It contains the advice or opinions of one or more Wikipedia contributors and is made to be humorous. This page is not one ofWikipedia's policies or guidelines, as it has not beenthoroughly vetted by the community. Some essays represent widespread norms; others only represent minority viewpoints.This essay isn't meant to be taken seriously. |
 | This page in a nutshell: Articles that are obviously false arecomplete bollocks and should be treated differently from similar articles. |
Thepolicies of Wikipedia state that articles must beverifiable and stated from aneutral point of view. This strongly implies that they must also betrue. Sometimes, articles arrive atarticles for deletion which have only the most tenuous connection to reality: they are, to use aBritish term,completebollocks.[1]
Some giveaway signs ofcomplete bollocks are phrases such asemerging theory andwidely disputed. Articlespuffingnon-notable websites are oftencomplete bollocks or, in other terms, "bullshit", in that they make wholly spurious claims to notability (e.g. claiming to have originated some new process, neologism or phenomenon which is either not verifiably existent or, conversely, blindingly obvious). These articles very often start with the name of the site, properly capitalized, as a link. WhereasGeogre's Law[2] posits incorrect capitalization as a hallmark of vanity in biographies, abundant capitalization and/or trademark signs (sometimes linked at every single instance) is often a hallmark ofcomplete bollocks in articles about websites.
A confirmatory sign ofcomplete bollocks is a set of circular articles, or aself-contained nest of articles, such as three articles that reference only each other and are themselves composed of nonsense, particularly if the set is started by one author or a set of authors (or IP addresses) who all contribute to the same set of articles. In wiki parlance this is awalled garden.
Probably the most prolific source ofcomplete bollocks is the bored student fraternity. AsUncle G put it,Wikipedia is not for things made up one day. Not all of this, however, iscomplete bollocks: some of it will have to be subjected to adeletion process before it is finally removed. However, a lot of it can be deletedfairly quickly, so maybe it's not all bad.There is no shortage ofbad ideas for articles, and some of them elevate themselves to the giddy heights ofreally stupid ideas for articles. It's this latter category which is likely to becomplete bollocks.
Consider these deathless lines byCharles Battell Loomis:
A Classic Ode
Oh, limpid stream ofTyrus, now I hear
The pulsing wings ofArmageddon's host,
Clear as acolcothar and yet more clear—
(Twin orbs, like those of which theParsees boast;)
Down in thy pebbled deeps in early spring
The dimplednaiads sport, as in the time
WhenOcidelus with untiring wing
Drave teams of prancing tigers, 'mid the chime
Of all the bells ofPhicol. Scarcely one
Peristome veils its beauties now, but then—
Like nascent diamonds, sparkling in the sun,
Orsainfoin,circinate, or moss in marshy fen.
Loud as the blasts ofTubal, loud and strong,
Sweet as the songs ofSappho, aye more sweet;
Long as the spear ofArnon, twice as long,
What time he hurled it at King Pharaoh's feet.
AsDouglas Hofstadter has pointed out, thearchaizing language and the mix ofclassical andBiblical allusions all lend authority to this poem. A reader may read it, and re-read it: theremust be some meaning there, it seems so serious in tone and intention. Further study will bring it to light. Good luck!
After you have figured out the poem, consider the following:
The reader is challenged by this section to identify what he has learned from the text that was not already known, or could not have been thought up by a mind gifted with sufficient leisure and vocabulary. Pay careful heed to the bolded terms, with their Greek letters andclassical compounds. The presence of Greek letters is a sure indication ofmathematical rigor, and classical compounds indicate thatscience is at play here. If there is an exam with this course, be assured that the student will be expected to repeat these terms and their given definitions. The tone assures the reader that a great deal of research, or at leastlogic, backs up the assertion that the causes of a polygenetic problem will intervene either simultaneously, concurrently, or serially.
