Movatterモバイル変換

20 Sep 2017 - 28 Oct 2023

Dec	JAN	Oct
	23
2017	2018	2023

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About this capture

COLLECTED BY

Organization:Alexa Crawls

Starting in 1996,Alexa Internet has been donating their crawl data to the Internet Archive. Flowing in every day, these data are added to theWayback Machine after an embargo period.

Collection:Alexa Crawls

Starting in 1996,Alexa Internet has been donating their crawl data to the Internet Archive. Flowing in every day, these data are added to theWayback Machine after an embargo period.

TIMESTAMPS

<<timedreplace 2s>>Q: what are you doing with your life?<<becomes>><<display '31'>><<endtimedreplace>>

<<display '1'>>

the trans woman is posting on twitter. she is embarassing herself.\n\nthe trans woman is making a personal game. she is embarassing herself.\n\nthe trans woman is trudging through an icy wilderness. she keeps moving forward because she doesn't know what else to do. she no longer knows what she's walking towards.\n\nno, the trans woman isn't in an icy wilderness. she is in her apartment. she has a pretty good gig where she gets to do whatever she wants and sometimes she even gets paid for it. she would even have health care if she'd stop putting off signing up for covered california.\n\nthe trans woman is wondering how many people will retweet this game. the trans woman is wondering if people are getting bored of her antics. the trans woman is writing in the third person. she is embarassing herself.\n\n<<hoverlink "33" "the trans woman">>

<<timedreplace 2s>>Q: the trans woman has become flirtatious. she is trying to show off.<<becomes>><<display '25'>><<endtimedreplace>>

<<timedreplace 2s>>WRONG<<becomes>><<display '26'>><<endtimedreplace>>

<<timedreplace 2s>>Q: what was the reaction to dys4ia like? were you surprised by it?<<becomes>><<display '27'>><<endtimedreplace>>

<<timedreplace 2s>>WRONG<<becomes>><<display '28'>><<endtimedreplace>>

<<timedreplace 2s>>Q: a trans woman walks into a bar. the bar is the games industry. she orders a rum and coke.<<becomes>><<display '21'>><<endtimedreplace>>

<<timedreplace 2s>>WRONG<<becomes>><<display '22'>><<endtimedreplace>>

<<timedreplace 2s>>Q: where did you see yourself at thirty? did you ever even think about it?<<becomes>><<display '23'>><<endtimedreplace>>

try {\n version.extensions['hoverlinkMacro'] = { major:1, minor:0, revision:0 };\n macros['hoverlink'] = macros['hoverspan'] = {\n handler: function(place, macroName, params, parser) {\n\t\tif (params[0] == null) {\n\t\t\tthrowError(place,"hoverlink macro parameter cannot be null"); \n\t\t}\n\n\t\ttag = "a";\n\t\tif (macroName == "hoverspan"){\n\t\t\ttag = "span";\n\t\t}\n\n\t\ttitle = params[0];\n\t\ttext = params[1] || params[0];\n\t\tconsole.log("about to insertElement");\n\t\tel = insertElement(place,tag,null,"hoverLink",text);\n\t\tconsole.log("after insertElement, about to set onmouseover");\n\t\tel.onmouseover = Wikifier.linkFunction(title,el, function(){disableLink(el)});\n\t\tconsole.log("after onmouseover");\n },\n init: function() { },\n };\n} catch(e) {\n throwError(place,"hoverlink Setup Error: "+e.message); \n}\n\ndisableLink = function(el) {\n\tvar i, p, D;\n\tD = insertElement(null, "span", null, "disabled");\n\tD.innerHTML = el.innerHTML;\n\tp = el.parentNode;\n\tp.insertBefore(D, el.nextSibling);\n\tp.removeChild(el);\n}

<<timedreplace 2s>>Q: the trans woman is drunk. she is embarassing herself.<<becomes>><<display '29'>><<endtimedreplace>>

<<timedreplace 2s>>WRONG<<becomes>><<display '30'>><<endtimedreplace>>

''How to Make a Personal Game''\n\nIt has been well-documented in the finest scientific journals - Reddit, IGN - that games are a vast desert and their players, stranded within, are empathy-deficient. A "blue desert," like I once heard David Attenborough call the open ocean: vast and sparkling and beautiful and thoroughly empty. Only near the shores is there any real nourishment, or hidden in secret deep gardens at the bottom of the sea. Someone who travels the open seas will be free as a dolphin, cutting through the pure blue waters, and will eventually starve.\n\nBut what if you could send a letter out into that wide sea? A tiny message in a tiny bottle. Or forget the bottle - the message itself can be the vessel, a letter carefully folded into a paper boat and set sailing down the river to someday meet the sea, a page from your diary.\n\nA paper boat is nothing compared to the vastness of the sea - what are the odds it would even be found? But what if we all sent them - if we filled the sea with paper boats of all colors, like confetti, a carnival on the water. What if <<hoverlink "wrong2" "your diary">> was part of a flotilla?

''how to make personal games''\n\nlet your anger and your frustration build up inside you until there's nowhere else for it to go, then open up twine and disgorge. in this metaphor, twine is a toilet and your guts are on fire.\n\nremember, people only care about your suffering. people only want to know you when you're at your most hurt - that way they can feel like they're better people for playing your game, like they understand you.\n\nif folks are going to indulge you, they need to feel like they're <<hoverlink "wrong4" "getting something">> out of the deal.

''how to make a personal game''\n\n1. push away everyone close to you except for your cat.\n\n2. just make games about your cat.\n\n<<hoverlink "wrong3" "everyone loves cats">>.

oh anna, it's going to be another one of [[those games|6]], isn't it?

a personal game is a desperate grab for attention. you cling to this idea that if you're able to somehow arrange all of your hurt into the right set of words that it will unlock the cave of wonders for you, it'll make people care about you.\n\nyou should just start making porn games again. you should make that game about a transfeminine linkle you were sketching out, people will buy the shit out of that.\n\nwhat even are you whining about, girl, you have 7700 twitter followers, <<hoverlink "5" "for fuck's sake">>.

You got back into your tarot habit recently. I guess maybe you were in a relationship with someone who took all this woo-woo stuff a little more seriously than you did, so you sort of felt like it wasn't yours anymore. You let yourself be pushed away from magic. But enough time has passed that maybe you have the space to invite some of the magic back into your life - to pick up your old ritual.\n\nThe ritual: every [[night]], sitting in your bed, you take your tarot deck from its place on your nightstand. It is wrapped in a bandana, an affectation you picked up from a lover. Actually, it's half of bandanna - you cut it so it was the right size for your cat to wear, but she doesn't tolerate it anymore.\n\nYou unwrap the bandana. The deck is tied up in twine, which you started doing because, you know, [[Twine|http://twinery.org/]]. Isn't that cute?\n\nYou shuffle the deck and [[draw a card|8]].

"To make a personal game, don't start with a message. Start with an experience." That's what you said at your talk last month.\n\nStart with [[tarot|7]].

Okay this is a bit unorthadox because the ritual is pulling //one// card a night but let's go with it. You draw:\n\n<center>''[[THE QUEEN OF CUPS INVERTED|http://www.biddytarot.com/tarot-card-meanings/minor-arcana/suit-of-cups/queen-of-cups/]]''</center>\nThis is you in a nutshell - attached to attachment, more in love with the idea of being in a relationship than with the actual person on the other side of it, more in love with the idea of being known than in the reality of fame. An endless river struggling to pour herself down every vortex she meets.\n\n[[Draw another.|10]]

how to make a personal game

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<<timedreplace 2s>>WRONG<<becomes>><<display '4'>><<endtimedreplace>>

WRONG\n<<timedcontinue 1s>>WRONG\n<<timedcontinue .8s>>WRONG\n<<timedcontinue .5s>>WRONG\n<<timedcontinue .3s>>WRONG\n<<timedcontinue .2s>>WRONG\n<<timedcontinue .1s>>WRONG\n<<timedcontinue .1s>>WRONG\n<<timedcontinue .1s>>WRONG\n<<timedcontinue .1s>>WRONG\n<<timedcontinue .1s>>WRONG\n<<timedcontinue .1s>>WRONG

<center>''THE FOOL''</center>\nThere are actually three different Fools in [[your deck|http://egypt.urnash.com/tarot/]]. //This one// is the one with her head in a book, so intent upon her reading that she doesn't notice she's about to step off a cliff.\n\nThe Fool is actually one of the more optimistic cards in the deck. It's the very first in the major arcana, number zero - it suggests newness, the start of a journey. You're going to take a fall but at least you'll discover a new path.\n\nAnd not just struggle to climb back up to where you think you used to be. You've been doing too much of that lately.\n\n[[Draw another.|9]]

i hope i've answered your questions about making personal games.\n\n\n''how to make a personal game''\n\nanna anthropy 2015\nthanks to leon arnott and author x for twine scripts

.passage {\n\twidth: 600px;\n\tborder-left: 0px;\n}\n\n#passages { border-left: 0px; }\n#sidebar { visibility:hidden; }\n\n.revision-span-in {\n\topacity: 0;\n}\n.revision-span:not(.revision-span-out) {\n\ttransition: 1s; -webkit-transition: 1s;\n}\n.revision-span-out {\n\tposition:absolute;\n\topacity: 0;\n}

<center>''[[IF THERE IS A JUDGE YOU ARE IT|http://www.sleepbot.com/morgan/card/judge.html]]''</center>\nOkay, you're positive none of these cards are actually from your deck. I guess this is the magic speaking?\n\n[[Draw another.|12]]

<center>''YOUR SHADOWSELF''</center>\nThis card is a dark mirror, an image of you as you could be instead of as you are. She looks happy in the card art, but of course she does. This is the you that's good at appearances, who does the affective labor you're always too tired for. She networks, she shows up at all the things, she's fucking all the right people, she is retweeted //very widely//. She's //on brand.//\n\nShe's the you that everyone expects you to be, including yourself, and who you could still be, if it didn't hurt so much.\n\nWas this card in your deck before?\n\n[[Draw another.|11]]

this one's a fucking [[magic the gathering|14]] card.

<center>''THE ACE OF WORRYING YOU'RE GOING TO BE COMPARED TO YOU KNOW WHO, I MEAN DIDN'T SHE DO A TAROT THING A WHILE AGO''</center>\nok what the fuck tarot deck\n\n[[Draw another???|13]]

''//POP QUIZ!//''\n\nWas the game described in the preceding passage a //cynical cash grab// or a //personal game//?\n\n[[It was a cynical cash grab that was totally transparent about being such.|16]]\n\n[[It was a personal game that used the frame of a cynical cash grab to discuss personal themes.|16]]

A LINKLE IN TIME by anna anthropy\n\nbased on first zelda dungeon\n    have map image appear on new room\n\nstart - grandpa gives you sword\n    "zelda hasn't come back from that cave in a week"\n    "it was dangerous for her to go alone - take this"\n    "isn't that kind of a masculine role, the rescuer" dysphoric\n    "when i was a lad your grandmother rescued me"\n    "this is her sword"\n    "good luck, granddaughter"\n\ndungeon in giant asshole misgendering deku tree\n    "what son of hyrule dare approacheth me"\n    "daughter" / "did you just misgender me?"\n    "oh well you must understand from my massive scale all you\n    humans look the same, you are ants to me etc."\n    backpedaling\n\nlocked door but you can get through by leaving and coming back\n\nrap with a skeleton\n    skeleton has key inside its ribcage (bling)\n    fight skeleton or just talk to it\n    "i used to be you. this is what happens when you die"\n    flirt with skeleton / [[date a skeleton|http://knowyourmeme.com/photos/1026182-undertale]] option\n\nget boomerang from goriyas\n    maybe non-binaries affronted by your binary gender identity\n    "there's no gender down here in THE DUNGEON"\n\npush a block\nmap and compass\n\nGIANT HANDS COMING OUT OF THE WALLS\n    maybe you're into it, like the feeling of being the damsel\n    in distress instead of the hero\n    "maybe zelda can come rescue me now"\n\nyour cis girlfriend is midwifing for a dragon\n    makes you feel even more dysphoric, like you just came in\n    swinging\n    "you would have done the same thing if i was in a cave"\n    linkle and the gatekeepers to femininity\n\ncall it "elfrule" instead of hyrule\n    elfians\ncall her "elfie" instead of linkle\nzelda -> elfda\n\nscene where you choose to wear your green, red or blue outfit\n    "good choice, that one blocks half my damange"\n    do nails to match\n\ndress up ultra-feminine to compensate for masculinity of hero\n    role\n    "you pull on your [[highest boots|http://www.hardcoregamer.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/Linkle.jpg]]"\n    gem necklace - maybe gift from elfda\n    "elf confidence"\n\nend with zelda all "maybe YOU'D like to be the damsel in\n    distress tonight" "maybe we can TRY FORCE"\n\n[[it'll sell millions|15]]

1. what is a personal game? what would an //impersonal game// look like?\n\n2. are some personal games more personal than others?\n\n3. why are you still in this field when most of the women in games you know have already quit? do you ever worry about being left behind? do you ever feel like you'd be accomplishing more in another field?\n\n4. must you always compare yourself to other women? isn't that exactly what //the patriarchy// wants us to do, to set us against each other?\n\n5. are you trying to find your way back to something? is all art just an attempt to reclaim something already inside us?\n\n6. can nostalgia in games mean something other than pixels? can you be nostalgic for a time when you felt you had a larger creative footprint?\n\n7. if you're making games "for yourself," why do you care so much about who else plays them? (hint: you're not making games for yourself. don't even.)\n\n8. once you were a raincloud, covering the land in shadow and water. you've since moved indoors, but you're still raining. all your things are getting wet. true or false?\n\n9. you can't help feeling like you're getting old. true or false?\n\n10. the tenth card in the major arcana is the wheel of fortune, which speaks to submission to fate, of letting things out of your hands. the deck you use has a 10 card, "fortune," but it also has an X card (the roman numeral for ten): "history." history refers not to the past but to how we //understand// our pasts. the card has an image of a woman bound in her own words.\n\n[[that's not a question!|18]]

You have lost the buddha nature.\n\n[[Questions for review.|17]]

<<timedreplace 2s>>WRONG<<becomes>><<display '20'>><<endtimedreplace>>

<<timedreplace 2s>>Q: can you identify the message of this game?<<becomes>><<display '19'>><<endtimedreplace>>

<<timedreplace 4s>><<display 'wrong'>><<becomes>><<display '32'>><<endtimedreplace>>\n

<<timedreplace 2s>>WRONG<<becomes>><<display '24'>><<endtimedreplace>>

//YOUR CARD://\n\n<img src="card_y.png">\n\n//CARD MEANINGS: If you got...//\n\n''The Shoes:'' The image of a pair of shoes sitting on a welcome mat beside the door hints at the comforts of home. It is also an invitation - you could put them on at any time and leave your home behind. They're awfully pretty shoes to just leave sitting around, aren't they?\n\n''The Activist:'' The activist lying in front of a bulldozer suggests adversity, but take a closer look: there's no one at the bulldozer's wheel. Is the activist protecting her home, her familiar and comfortable systems? Or does she yearn to tear them down and build something new - if only she weren't so afraid?\n\n''The Hoodwink:'' The woman sits on a throne in an opulent palace but, blindfolded, imagines it a cave of terror. What's "hoodwinking" you - and what wealth is it preventing you from seeing? It should be easy to reach up and simply remove the blindfold - if you weren't so paralyzed by fear!\n\n''The Crowbar:'' The crowbar is a victim of the media. We look at this image and see a weapon, a clumsy bludgeon. We forget that the crowbar is actually a tool, forged and molded expressly for the purpose of opening things abandoned as unopenable. Have you forgotten what you were made for?\n\n''The Prize:'' You've done it! You've won! It's an impressive trophy indeed, but note the winner sitting in its cup. Does she look like she's eaten lately? This is the card of disappointment in success. You've given everything to attain your prize, but how are you going to eat tonight? You can't eat a trophy.\n\n''The Tiger Moth:'' Well, which is it? A tiger or a moth? Does it eat nectar or raw, bleeding meat? Should you let your kids near it or should you grab them and run? What do you get a tiger moth for its birthday? Does the tiger moth even know?\n\n''The Tombstone:'' A chronicle of all your life's deeds, written in stone. All it's waiting for is a date of death. But you're not dead yet, are you? If you accept this list of your achievements as complete, there's really nothing left to do but wait for death. Or, heavy as it may be, can you reject this history?\n\n''The Castle:'' Give it up! You'll never fit inside such a tiny sandcastle. With your own hands you fashioned yourself a throne to sit on and a court of sand people to admire you, but you'll never be able to be able to get in. Don't think of it as something you've lost, but something you've outgrown. Sandcastles weren't meant to stand forever.\n\n''The Sawblade:'' Total destruction. You're tied to that log good and tight - did someone tie you down? Or did you tie yourself? Either way, everything will be ruined. But consider: without the lumber mill, there wouldn't be any paper. Perhaps you'll get a story out of this.\n\n''The Meteorologist:'' The image of a family sitting in front of a TV in raincoats and umbrellas while the sun shines through the window speaks for itself. Everything is going to be fine, but you've managed to convince yourself otherwise.\n\n''The Canary:'' You thought it'd be cool to walk around with a bird on your shoulder, but you didn't realize how much birds eat. Now this one's getting huge, and it's starting to hurt your shoulder. Stop looking at twitter.\n\n''Planet X:'' Filled with natural wonders beyond anything you could ever see on your home planet - possibly. It could just as easily have an atmosphere of pure sulphur which you could never breathe. Perhaps it has both at the same time - this image of a tiny emerald glittering in the darkness of space belies nothing. The unknown.\n\ni hope i've <<hoverlink "end" "answer">>ed your questions about making personal games.

\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\nthe trans woman is sitting in her bed. she is unwrapping her tarot deck. //Q: is the tarot deck a personal game?// her cat climbs up and sits next to her on the bed. //everyone loves cats.//\n\nthe trans woman is shuffling the cards. she is brave, and she is tired, and she is powerful, and she is frustrated, and she is about to have a revelation, and she is about to give up, and she is magic, and she is confused, and she is focused, and she is righteously angry, and she is overly emotional.\n\nthe trans woman thought it would be better than this. the trans woman's life is beyond anything her childhood self could have ever imagined. the trans woman is internationally recognized in her field. the trans woman isn't getting any younger. some days the trans woman feels very old. she is only in her thirties.\n\nthe trans woman is a published author. she's been in the times. wow! way to go, trans woman!\n\n[[the trans woman draws a card.|35]]

<<timedreplace 2s>>WRONG<<becomes>><<display '3'>><<endtimedreplace>>

<<timedreplace 2s>>WRONG<<becomes>><<display '2'>><<endtimedreplace>>

You have friends who draw a card at the start of their day instead of at the end. You can't do that - you would obsess about the card the entire day, you would constantly be on guard for whatever you thought the card signified to happen. You can be that way with symbols.\n\nSo instead you do it at night, before you go to sleep.\n\n[[Back|7]]

anna anthropy

\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\nthe trans woman got hit by a car a while ago. everyone knows this already, they all did their civic duty and purchased the game she made about it. they contributed to the fund for trans women game designers who are hit by cars. they did their part. the trans woman is embarassing herself.\n\nthe trans woman is embarassing herself. the trans woman is very brave. she is being so brave right now. she is so brave.\n\nthe trans woman is an important voice in games. she is so brave.\n\nwhat more does the trans woman want? the trans woman and i met in real life. we just didn't get along. sometimes people just don't get along. i still support her. she is so brave.\n\nthe trans woman is so brave. she is so tired. she is //so tired.//\n\n<<hoverlink "34" "the trans woman">>