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This week's list of the worst software disasters should be more controversial than any "best of" list, since a lot of software is bad. But not all bad software is significantly bad. There are also situations where software is just bad for a minute, then quickly fixed. In other situations the software isn't really bad, it's just that people hated it. My list in this column will emphasize bad software that was hyped as the next big thing and then proved to be a huge flop despite all efforts. Now that's an amazing thing to watch. That's why I've titled this column the 10 worst software "disasters." The problem is that it's quite difficult to rank these turkeys. This column is my best shot at doing that.

Let's do it:

10. Microsoft Bob (1995). I've always liked this product, but it was so clearly mismarketed that it was a sad indictment of Microsoft's marketing prowess. Originally called Utopia, it was the great Microsoft experiment in human-engineered OS environments. If it had been marketed to children and families (its interface wasa cartoon character), it might have developed into something. Now it's not even mentioned on the Microsoft timeline. Incredibly collectible.

9. Combined category. There was an era of screwball languages which were all going to change the world! This situation, rampant during the 1980s, began around 1977 with UCSD Pascal and the "p" system. Everybody was talking about it. Unfortunately, it produced incredibly sluggish and bloated code. Perhaps it was a product ahead of its time. The other languages that stand out from this era include numerous iterations of cheap Pascal and the overpromoted language Forth. Programs written in Forth always made users feel like they were walking in mud.

And finally, there was Modula-2! This product, developed by superstar computer ace Niklaus Wirth (inventor of Pascal), was going to set the world on fire in an era when the transition from Pascal to C was just beginning. Despite the hype, it went nowhere. A few commercial products were coded in Modula-2; one of them is next on the list of disasters.

8. MicroPro Easy, the word processor (1985). This product was marketed as the word processor for people who hated computers, which is silly if you think of it. People who hate computers don't buy computers, so why would they buy this? I recall that with Easy you needed some sort of two-key sequence to get a carriage return on the page. It was a laugh. Nobody bought it, despite all the advertising. Oh, and, yes, it was coded in Modula-2. Its only competitor in terms of hype was the much-despised Word 6 for the Macintosh. Mac users still rant about that dog.

7. Windows 1.0. I mean, come on. Shipping in 1985 to a ho-hum reception, this was such a joke that Microsoft itself put on a public roast when it finally rolled out the product. Its follow-on brethren, including Windows 2.0 and Windows 386, were just as bad.

6. Microsoft Access (circa 1985). Maybe the name is jinxed, but Microsoft's first shot at doing a product called Access was a telecom program it cobbled together so it could compete with Procomm and the other telecom programs. These were used to control modems and call bulletin boards. Access was hopelessly crummy, and was discontinued. A few years later Microsoft rolled out a database manager that was also called Microsoft Access, and the references to the original Microsoft Access suddenly disappeared, as if it had never existed. The database manager fared better, but eventually languished as SQL-centric products became the standard.

5. TopView (1984). This was going to be IBM's answer to the emerging windowing systems. It was a character-based task switcher and multitasker that worked well in the DOS environment, but was doomed to be killed off by Microsoft and lack of interest from users.

4. Lotus Symphony (PC) and Lotus Jazz (Macintosh). These were the big 1985 follow-up products to Lotus 1-2-3, the runaway hit that made Lotus the biggest and most dominant software company in the early days of the PC. The company was bigger than Microsoft. Too bad they didn't have any common sense. Jazz, for example was priced at $600!! Symphony and Jazz were both widely criticized and neither was successful. These products were in incredibly elaborate boxes to justify their ridiculously high prices.

3. Framework. This was Ashton-Tate's 1984 office suite follow-up to dBASE-II, and might have been successful if the overly promotional George Tate had not died during the rollout. Nobody else had the ability to promote it. And since it used Windows-like frames to display data, nobody could explain why it didn't have a mouse interface. Framework's fate was sealed when national TV ads promoting it ran without ever explaining why anyone would want to buy it. Since then a group of fanatics have kept the program alive, for reasons unknown.

2. Microsoft OS/2. Later taken over by IBM, this 1987 joint venture was going to be the next great operating system, according to Steve Ballmer. Somewhere along the way Microsoft figured it could ditch IBM and go it alone with Windows. IBM plugged along after that, baffled by the betrayal and unable to compete against Microsoft's dirty tricks. The OS died a miserable death of neglect.

1. VisiOn. Here is the ultimate in hubris and the triggering mechanism for Microsoft's entire strategic orientation. This non-product was from VisiCorp, the company that was selling VisiCalc until they fell apart. Everything wrong with the world of software can be traced back to the announcement of this vaporware. It was shown at COMDEX in 1982. It resulted in Bill Gates preannouncing Windows (see above). VisiOn was eventually coded and sold to an audience of none by Control Data. I could never figure out who made that decision.

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