Bet you got Insta
People would describe you as funny with a dash of insecurity. Every time you get tagged in Bristruth, for a slight moment you forget about the existential dread that haunts you daily. You’re not too difficult to please and enjoy the simple pleasures of life.
You probably use Briscrush to hit up your one true love
You’re a fuckboy whose most used phrase is, "wag one b, wys?" Pulling girls at Gravity Monday is the highlight of your week. You constantly send selfies flexing your muscles and showing off your ‘six pack.’ However, until recently, the only six pack you had is the one you bought using a fake ID.
You’re a basic bitch. Before Bristol you posted aesthetic pics wearing Uggs, whilst drinking pumpkin spiced lattes. Now you wouldn’t dare wear an outfit that wasn’t from Depop. What truly makes you unique is your love of flares and glitter makeup. Keep posting that original content, babes!!!
Flares ftw
Someone’s a bit political. You’re the type of person people avoid talking to at house parties. Although most students are passionate about topical issues, they’re not all screaming about it.
There are two types of people who use WhatsApp extensively.
1)You use it for its high tech encryption system.
2)Most messages received are from your family.
You talk to your mum more than anyone
You do an EFM degree. Your biggest achievement in life was securing that internship at JP Morgan Chase. You beat thousands of other candidates in the fait to become the most boring, biggest money sucking clone out there. If you meet most of your online connections through networking events, it might be worth reevaluating some of your life choices. Always remember, money can’t buy you love, but it can buy a LinkedIn premium account.
Are you even an EFM student if you don't have LinkedIn?
You change your hair colour more than you change your mind. Your mum was wrong, dyed hair, facial piercings, and that pouty smoldering look wasn’t just a phase. However, now that you’re at uni, you slightly wish it was…
‘Let’s work on the little things that make a difference to everybody’s day to day life’
Why are you reading this and not your seminar prep?
‘Hopefully the tribunal will make it clear that he was a victim of unjust dismissal’
As we watch Voi scoot off into the sunset, lets look back at some of their most iconic moments
‘It feels like a money-printing machine and frankly, theft’
Bristol needs to get a meal deal society asap
The iconic red e-scooters will be replaced by the green WESTscoot
Ben Meehan, 21, has been charged with criminal damage
The 21-year-old film student was arrested on suspicion of criminal damage
‘The fuel tank ruptured, and it started exploding’
Climate activists urge the University of Bristol to switch to 100 per cent vegan catering
I do not have time to be sniffling through my 9ams and neither do you
Head on down to our open meeting at 5pm on Tuesday 3rd October in Senate House
‘It was really weird that there was not a single female face on the stall’
Can you spot the Wills Memorial Building and the School of Chemistry?
A comprehensive list of the society stereotypes you’ll run into at Bristol University
‘We are really pleased that Bristol UCU has decided not to take part in the national industrial action planned for later this month’
How to ace your Freshers’ Week like you’ve done it all before
The Daily Mail University Guide ranked Bristol 12th, whilst the Guardian placed the university 17th
The new facilities mean the number of student dental admissions will increase 25 per cent
Remember when she kept posting open love notes on Instagram to him?
He’s back handing out handshakes on another series of The Great British Bake Off
There have been 59 ghost sightings at one UK uni
The drama really never ends!
Liam Payne has just had his driver’s license suspended
This doesn’t only happen to celebrities like Holly Willoughby
Give this man all the baguettes
I’m switching back to a Nokia brick after this
Of course she’s well connected with most of the cast
The hygiene rating of my fave kebab shop has nothing to do with me!
I’m in shock at all of these
The Made in Chelsea mayhem has gone on long enough
‘Bradley said he was behaving like a caged animal’
She thinks they’re on the show ‘for fun’ and are not ‘focusing on their marriages’
It was revealed today Luke has been removed from the show following a physical fight
The incident was caught on camera
Ruby Bloom
Lola Wright
Isabel Durham
Tom Pickering
Olivia Hill
Sapphire Hope
Jemima Sutton
Daisy Wigg
Joe Pinner
Matt Carver
Honor Wolstencroft
Annabel Macken
anotherstephen
Lydia Spencer-Elliott
Emily Smith
Hayley Soen
Ellie Ring