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Special Containment Procedures: SCP-6067 is to be contained in a 4x4x8 meter hermetically sealed glass containment chamber at Site-86. Any references to Documents-6067 outside of Foundation records are to be immediately reported and destroyed.
Description: SCP-6067 is a seven-meter-tall sentient tornado. It was created during the filming of a commercial for a proposed Dr. Wondertainment toy "Recyclone". No other instances of SCP-6067 exist as Recyclone was never brought to market.
Items with a volume smaller than SCP-6067 by 1mm or more are incorporated into the object upon physical contact, followed by a corresponding growth in the effective size of SCP-6067. Currently, all identifiable objects inside SCP-6067 consist of:
- Various toys
- Appliances such as a stove, refrigerator, washing machine, and dryer
- One adult male corpse
- An indeterminate number of workshop tools such as screwdrivers, a hammer, and a drill
- Coat rack
- Suburban house
- The following note:
Hi, kids! Now you are the proud owner of Señor Hole, who is the Tiny Señor line of Professor Funtastic! Try to collect all the fun for hours!
Let your señors here for fun! Pick up all the señors, super fun! Fun for you! Fun of your friends!
- Señor Boom!
- Señor Fluff!
- Señor Senor!!
- Señor Senorita!!
- Señor Fun!
- Señor Hole!
- Señor Pig!
- Señor Purple!
- Señor Taste!
Discovery: SCP-6067 was recovered at Stage 12 at the █████████ Studios Lot. During its acquisition, the following documents were found at the scene:
The only two emails on a computer found at the scene:
Your proposal of toy is appalling, to say the least. We shall not be funding any endeavors you attempt with the Recyclone and if our name is attached to this project in any way, our legal team will be having words with you.
Fill every day with wonder and glee! - Dr. Wondertainment
Can we be of helping to you? Give funding for show of toy to have many fun?
Having fun is fun! - Prof. Funtastic
Commercial Script:
Professor Funtastic Presenting Recyclone!
INT. DINING ROOM - DAY
Max, a 9-year-old boy, is sitting at the dining table playing on a Playtainment Console taking the last sip of a soda.
Max throws the empty soda can on the floor.
DAD
Max! No throwing cans. You need to pick that up!
MAX
Come on dad!
Max looks at the camera looking annoyed.
NARRATOR
Are your parents always bugging you about cleaning up? Get them off your back with the newest toy from Professor Funtastic, the Recyclone!
INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY
NARRATOR
The Recyclone is a vacuum that's actually fun to use! With state-of-the-art Funtech, Recyclone can move about your house picking up any unwanted trash. Just throw any trash into it and watch it go!
Max and Susie are on the floor chanting at a doll-sized Recyclone.
Recyclone picks up some trash and looks proud of itself.
MAX AND SUSIE:
Get goin’ Recyclone!
INT. BEDROOM - AFTERNOON
NARRATOR
Feed your Recyclone anything you don’t want and watch it magically whisk it away from existence! Don’t like that old baby’s toy? Call in Recyclone!
Susie is seen throwing an old-looking doll into Recyclone.
SUSIE
I don’t need any of these boring old toys anymore! Get goin’ Recyclone!
Recyclone continues to consume Susie’s toys, growing to about the size of a dog.
INT. GARAGE - NIGHT
NARRATOR
Dad’s tools too loud? Recyclone can take care of that!
Max is standing on a workbench excitedly pulling tools off the wall and tossing them into Recyclone.
MAX
I hate my dad and all his loud tools! This serves him right for keeping us up all night!
Get goin’ Recyclone!
INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT
NARRATOR
There isn’t anything Recyclone can’t eat. It’ll gobble up anything you throw at it!
Max and Susie are pushing everything out of the cupboards letting it fall into Recyclone.
Recyclone grows as tall as Max and Susie.
MAX AND SUSIE
Get goin’ Recyclone! Get goin’ Recyclone! Get goin’ Recyclone!
Max and Susie continue to chant as they work together to tip the fridge over into Recyclone.
EXT. FRONT YARD - NIGHT
NARRATOR
There’s nothing too big for Recyclone! It can even swallow a house!
Max and Susie stand beside a Recyclone that’s now as big as an elephant. Their mom is seen pulling over and running to her children yelling and waving her arms.
MOTHER
Wait! Wait! Kids, stop, your father’s still in there!
MAX AND SUSIE
Get goin’ Recyclone.
Max and Susie stare blankly as Recyclone consumes the entirety of their house.
NARRATOR
Get your very own Recyclone for only three small payments of 19.99.
If you order within the next 10 minutes we will also throw in five packs of Recyclone Refill Air for only 10 dollars extra!
Porridge
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Cite this page as:
"SCP-6067" by Tstaffor, from theSCP Wiki. Source:https://scpwiki.com/scp-6067. Licensed underCC-BY-SA.
For information on how to use this component, see theLicense Box component. To read about licensing policy, see theLicensing Guide.
Filename: professor_funtastic.png
Author: Tstaffor
License: CC BY-SA 3.0