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"And don't piss yourself in public, again. They charged me $200 for that Uber"
Item #: SCP-5861
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5861 is kept housed in Provisional Site-5861, which is a hermetically-sealed 9 m3 pop-up Class-A containment module under purview of the Pilcrow-Minkowski Center for Advanced Studies' High Risk Housing Sector. This module should be retrofitted with temperature/humidity control settings and proprietary low lux fixtures spaced evenly throughout and maintained at exactly 13 lx.
At no time are any foreign objects to be brought into SCP-5861 or its container. No contents of SCP-5861 are allowed to be removed once inside.
Discussion and testing of impacted structures are to be enacted via the English language, using an approved argot provided by theDepartment of Miscommunications' Hybrid Anomalies Division for Conceptual Studies.
Assigned personnel must be monolingual.
Description: SCP-5861 is the designation for a ~5 m3 orthotope of space located in the Site-19 Anomalous Items warehouses which is subject to severe linguistic decohesion. The space does not appear to grow in size, though the exact bounds are unclear.
SCP-5861's origin is unknown. It is theorized that the orthotope manifested via an effect of a previously-considered inert or low-risk anomalous item. An audit of Site-19's warehouses is currently underway and scheduled to complete by 2025.
Unlikesemantic dissociation zones, conceptual linguistic structures possessing complex or multifaceted denotation introduced into the boundaries of SCP-5861 have a chance to exhibit anomalous behavior in approximately .1% of cases where that conceptual structure is verbally invoked. Not all concepts introduced this way are affected; it is unknown how this is determined, however, terms with greater quantity of possible alternate meanings appear more susceptible to the effect.
Objects and persons that use or are defined by decohesive identifiers/descriptors can spontaneously exhibit behavior considered atypical given the intended usage, while remaining logically sound for one or more alternate denotations. This effect appears to be causally-linked in some fashion, although the extent and mechanics of this connection remain unknown to Foundation research staff. Recovered materials and anecdotal evidence suggest impacted invocations becomeconceptually vague, leading to undesirable changes in semantic outcome when triggered.1
In addition to the aforementioned conceptual effects, subjects sent into SCP-5861 eventually exhibit anomalous hyperpolyglotism,2 resulting in the endogenous development of linguistic fluency in any number of languages, including several unknown lexicons, regardless of prior skill level, knowledge, or aptitude. At present time, "☼︎" is the only object allowed within SCP-5861; humanoid testing has been suspended indefinitely, and any further interactions pose significant conceptual/lexical hazard on a macro scale.
"☼︎"3 is a single piece of parchment paper located inside the bounds of SCP-5861. "☼︎" is crumpled and appears blank. "☼︎" is not believed to be anomalous and thus deteriorates as expected.
Due to "☼︎"'s presence within SCP-5861 and the containment requirements involved in maintaining its integrity, several concepts must be verbally invoked every six hours by assigned D-Class personnel. These concepts include but are not limited to "paper", "trash", "light", "air", and "humidity". A full list can be requested from the Department of Miscommunications by assigned personnel. Any linguistic deviations observed in these invocations should be immediately reported to project head.
ᚖ is the linguistic trigger defined as the word "foxing". ᚖ hasfive seven possible states when invoked, determined at each impacted usage and defined as ᚖ-* throughᚖ-⁂** ᚖ-⁂⁂*.
More information can be found below:
DENOTATIONS LOG 5861-ᚖ
| STATE | TYPE | DEFINITION |
|---|---|---|
| ᚖ-* | Verb | The process by which paper products yellow over time as a result of environmental factors |
| ᚖ-** | Verb | To deceive or outwit |
| ᚖ-⁂ | Noun | The sidewall material of certain footwear, found between the sole and upper portion of the shoe, secures components |
| ᚖ-⁂* | Verb | Repair or implementation of ᚖ-⁂ in existing footwear |
| ᚖ-⁂** | Verb | Recreational hunting ofVulpes vulpes |
| ᚖ-⁂⁂ | Verb | To become or produceVulpes vulpes4 |
| ᚖ-⁂⁂* | Noun (Proper) | St. Louis, Missouri-based rock band of the same name |
INCIDENT LOG 5861-ᚖ
PREFACE:On 03/20/21, at approximately 21:30, Foundation field agents stationed in ███████, WA were notified of a disturbance taking place at ██████, a popular music venue in the uptown area. Agents arrived on the scene to find the venue empty aside from a few civilians possessing injuries consistent with crowd trampling. The individuals attending were traced using ticketing information and GPS location data, interrogated and amnesticized before release. The following transcript describes footage that was recovered from a smartphone belonging to one of the attendees.
[BEGIN TRANSCRIPT]
Camera feed is live, the audio channel clipping from raucous cheers and applause. The back of an unknown figure comes into view, which obscures the view of the stage. Unknown individual is significantly taller than the camera's operator, who attempts to maneuver around in search of a better viewpoint. The cheers die down just as a feminine voice is heard, projected via amplifier.
BAND MEMBER: Thank you, wow, you've been great. We will see you again real soon, ███████!
Camera operator, now referred to as POI-5861A, arrives at a decent vantage point as attendees are seen loitering and the crowd thins. Another voice is heard, from context they are presumed to be POI-5861A's friend, labelled POI-5861B for ease of following. Camera view falls to waist height as operator seems to forget about the recording.
POI-5861B: That was sick! Illuminati Hotties, not bad at all.5 Want to hit the bathroom before the main act?
POI-5861A: Is this your first time at ██████? Or, like, any concert at all? That's how you get stuck in line for an hour. Never use the bathroom between acts. Clench it, don't be a pussy.
POI-5861B: I drank like a gallon of beer. Well, three drinks.
POI-5861A: That's not even close to a gallon, my guy.
POI-5861B: Gallon or not, clenching isn't an option right now. Honestly I was just trying to be nice with the offer, ya know.
POI-5861A: The offer to have me join you in the bathroom? How generous—
The sound of distorted guitar overtakes the conversation, but dies out a moment later. The process repeats with the other instruments presumably on stage.
UNKNOWN: Ay, soundcheck guy! [chanting] Soundcheck guy! Soundcheck guy!
Unknown attendee out of view stops chanting after a few seconds.
POI-5861A: Better be quick, they're due to be on any moment now.
POI-5861B: Huh. I must've reabsorbed or something. I think I can hold it, at least 'til a shitty song plays.
POI-5861A: [ᚖ-⁂⁂*] has no shitty songs, don't be a square.
No anomalous effects are recorded.
POI-5861A: And don't piss yourself in public, again. They charged me $200 for that Uber.
POI-5861B: You're never gonna let me live that down, huh?
POI-5861A: For $200, maybe.
Cheers erupt from all sides. POI-5861A lifts the phone and realizes it is still recording.
POI-5861A: Whoops. That'll be a fun conversation to listen to tomorrow.
POI-5861B: [loud] What?
POI-5861A does not respond and instead trains the camera on the stage, where multiple individuals are seen emerging without a word. Cheers increase in volume until nothing else can be heard. One band member sits at the drums, two grab guitars and settle in front of their respective microphones. Violinist Emma Tiemann has already begun to play a soft melody, with sounds of light, echoing guitar plucks slowly swelling in volume. Frontman Conor Murphy flicks on a keyboard sampler beside him and brings his face to the microphone, trumpet in one hand and another now gripping onto the microphone stand.
Murphy: Thank you. [chuckle] Thank you, we love you. And—
Music volume continues to rise as remaining members of the ensemble join in.
Murphy: [screaming]—We are [ᚖ-⁂⁂*]!
A large explosion is seen rocking the crowd backwards as the music is replaced by frantic screams and large bangs. Smoke obscures part of the camera's view, the dim lighting and blur of sudden commotion reducing visibility further. Attendees begin panicking as the stage floods with dozens of red foxes, the band nowhere to be found. The animals see the crowd of frightened humans and begin to panic as well, forming an agitated mob of bright-colored fur. Animals scatter in all directions while concert-goers stumble over themselves and further piles of disoriented foxes in an attempt to evacuate. POI-5861A has barely moved except to hug the back wall of the venue, camera view shaking and voice trembling.
POI-5861A: [panicked]W-What the fuck. What the fuck. What the fuck. Andy! Where are you, you drunk piece of—
POI-5861B: Here! I'm right here. And Idefinitely don't have to pee anymore.
POI-5861A: Fuck it, I don't care, I'll call a ride. Door, now, let's go, there's an opening.
POI-5861A holds the phone at their side again but brings it up a minute later to point the view at a few stragglers, both human and otherwise. The two make their way to the front entrance where a small crowd is attempting to access the coat check, the booth having been abandoned. A young kit is seen tugging on one woman's pant leg and whipping its tiny orange head in a playful manner, though the advances do not seem well received. A moment later and the two are outside on the sidewalk.
POI-5861B: You didn't tell me Fleet Foxes would be playing. You get it? Like, a fleet of foxes—
POI-5861A: [groans] Shut up.
Silence, aside from wind and distant sirens.
POI-5861A: You owe me $400.
[END TRANSCRIPT]
NOTES:Foundation coverup efforts took place throughout the next few days, establishing a counternarrative involving an amplifier explosion. Remaining foxes were collected and dispersed into the wild after rehabilitation. Look-alike actors were selected and successfully integrated into the band, which is to go on indefinite hiatus.
Original members of the band were not found, presumed foxed.
They said 'sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me'.
They were wrong.
I've checked the files provided by Extradimensional, all signs point to this place as Ground Zero.
I hear they are installing graphene-reinforced skylight windows over at the warehouses to help with visibility. Probably shave a few bucks off the electricity bill. Gonna let all that natural sunshine through. Sounds nice.
They won't listen to me, but maybe you can get an audience with higher ups than I.
Tell them to stop. Make them stop. If they put a window above that spot, it's only a matter of time.
Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words?
Cite this page as:
"SCP-5861" by Billith, from theSCP Wiki. Source:https://scpwiki.com/scp-5861. Licensed underCC-BY-SA.
For information on how to use this component, see theLicense Box component. To read about licensing policy, see theLicensing Guide.