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I hope you don't mind salty coffee.
Item #: SCP-1046
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: The apartment complex which SCP-1046 is located within has been purchased by a Foundation front company. All other tenants have been evicted under cover story WRT-1221 ("Unstable Foundations"), and the location has been converted into a Foundation safe house/research outpost; Auxiliary Site-1046. Auxiliary Site-1046 is to be supplied with 50 kg of Arabica and Liberica coffee beans once monthly.
SCP-1046 has been employed as a barista within Auxiliary Site-1046. Personnel are encouraged to frequent SCP-1046's apartment at least twice daily to order coffee and interact with the entity, although this is not required.
Description: SCP-1046 is a collection of 781 separate human body parts, formerly a man named Rodrigo Molina. These portions of SCP-1046's body are alive and fully functional despite not receiving any sustenance, not containing any blood, and in some cases, not being connected to muscles.
SCP-1046 is located within Molina's apartment. Portions of SCP-1046 are located throughout it, with some body parts replacing functional elements of the apartment, others inhibiting the usability of other existing objects1 and some inhibiting function of objects within the home.2
The object is capable of communicating verbally, as its vocal chords are lodged within the living room television, and enjoys casual conversation.
Addendum 1046.1: Background Research
Background research into the apartment containing SCP-1046 was carried out on 17/09/2023 after Foundation assets in the Valparaíso Police Department followed up on a report of an "apartment with people parts stitched into the whole place" from its landlord.
It was discovered that Molina worked as a barista in a local cafe and had been renting the apartment since 03/05/2023 from a civilian named Raul Zapata-Guerrera3, and was recently experiencing a rent increase.
Molina's Twitter account was located by SAURON.aic, the contents4 of which follow.
Addendum 1046.2: Establishing Contact
Contact was established on 18/09/2023 after investigation into the alleged apartment revealed SCP-1046's anomalous properties. The following is a log of an interview carried out with SCP-1046 upon discovery.
Interviewer: Agent Shuffle
Interviewed: SCP-1046 (Formerly Rodrigo Molina)
<BEGIN LOG>
[As the video feed begins, the sound of running water from nearby faucets is barely audible over the sound of a weeping individual.]
Shuffle: Okay, now it's on. Look, I'm not here to evict you! I promise!
SCP-1046: Then what's with the gun on your hip? You're with the police, I know it! That bastard Raul wants me out of here and he called the cops on me to kick me out!
[Shuffle walks towards the kitchen area and tries turning the faucet off. It turns back on immediately.]
Shuffle: I think we got off on the wrong foot here. I'm not here to kick you out. I just want to know what's going on with you.
SCP-1046: Then why bring a gun to deal with a barista?!
[As SCP-1046 speaks, the gas stove turn on, emitting flame.]
Shuffle: I'm not a cop. I promise. My name is Julieta.
[The flames on the stove are snuffed and the faucet's flow slows down.]
SCP-1046: R-Rodrigo. Your name is pretty, by the way.
Shuffle: Thank you. I picked it out myself. I like your name, too. Rodrigo Molina. Nice, strong name.
SCP-1046: Thanks. I- I picked mine too… Wait— how did you now my full name? Who are you with? If you're not the police you can't be a therapist, I know they don't carry guns. Tell me who you're with and don't give me any bullshit!
Shuffle: Okay. I'm with the Foundation. You haven't heard of us, not unless you run in certain circles, which your background check doesn't sugge—
[The stove lights aflame once more. Shuffle moves out of the kitchen as it heats up and enters the living room. She looks around, trying to locate the source of SCP-1046's voice.]
SCP-1046: You ran a background check on me?! All I do is make coffee!
[The fire on the stove climbs higher, leaving scorch marks on the grates.]
Shuffle: Rodrigo, I—
SCP-1046: I don't care what the Foundation is! You're all the same. A bunch of classist pigs who want to kick out poor renters like me from their homes after the useless landlords increase rent for no reason!
Shuffle: We don't—
SCP-1046: I really need this place! It's all I could afford before that bastard Raul hiked the price up on me!
[Shuffle approaches the living room television and kneels before it.]
Shuffle: I'm not here to kick you out! I know what it's like to be ousted for being different too, but that's not what I'm here for. The Foundation specializes in cases such as yours.
[The fires on the stove are snuffed out again.]
SCP-1046: What are you doing? My eyes are up here. Anyway, are you here to help me out with rent? Because my God, I looked everywhere for help with this and fou—
[Shuffle looks around.]
Shuffle: What? No. Anomalies.
SCP-1046: Oh, let me guess. You round unfortunate people like me up and call us "anomalies" and then run shady tests on us? Yeah, no thank you. I don't care if you have a gun. Shoot me if you want, but I'm not leaving.
[The temperature in the room lowers and Shuffle begins to shiver.]
Shuffle: You've got the wrong idea! I mean, look at you! Have you seen yourself?
SCP-1046: I try to avoid the mirror. I'm not happy in the body God gave me.
Shuffle: I understand that. But have you reallyseen yourself? You're all over the place.
[There is a brief silence.]
SCP-1046: I know I'm a mess, but did you have to put it like that?
Shuffle: No, Rodrigo. I mean it literally. Look, I'm going to pull out my phone and take a picture of your face, okay?
SCP-1046: Fine.
[Shuffle reaches into her left pocket and produces her mobile phone, then opens the camera app and takes a picture of SCP-1046's face fixed upon the television. She then holds it towards the television.]
SCP-1046: What are you doing? My eyes are up here. I told you already.
[Shuffle looks around again.]
Shuffle: Up… where exactly?
[Shuffle gets up and moves towards the bedroom, where a crucifix hangs over the door frame. Affixed to it is a pair of disembodied eyeballs.]
Shuffle: I guess here.
[The sound of faucets turning on in the bedroom's bathroom and kitchen sink become audible again. The temperature becomes normal again.]
SCP-1046: Oh my God… Is that… Really me? I thought… I thought I was just dissociating…
Shuffle: I assume you don't know what caused this, huh?
SCP-1046: No… I… I… God…
[The faucets begin sputtering.]
Shuffle: Look, I can't imagine it's easy.
SCP-1046: A-am I in trouble? I swear I didn't mean for this to happen, I just didn't want to be kicked out again…
Shuffle: Don't worry, you're not. The Foundation is a lot more lenient on people who are victims of anomalies rather than anomalies themselves. We even have a newfangled program for anomalies we integrate into Foundation structure too, so who knows, you may just find yourself a new job. Is there anything you're particularly good at?
SCP-1046: I couldn't go to university because I didn't have an address after I told my parents… you know.
[The faucets in the apartment begin winding down slowly.]
Shuffle: I didn't go to university after high school either. But I'm good at talking to people, and the Foundation picked me up as a field agent.
SCP-1046: Really? Because you kind of sucked at talking to me.
Shuffle: I got you to calm down, didn't I?
[Sniffling is heard.]
SCP-1046: I guess… I'm sorry I yelled at you earlier.
Shuffle: It's okay. I would have yelled if I were you too.
SCP-1046: Say, would you like a coffee? I—
Shuffle: I know you work down atCafé República. Had a coffee there this morning, talked to the owner about you. She thinks highly of you, did you know that?
SCP-1046: Really?
Shuffle: Yeah.
[There is a brief silence.]
SCP-1046: I guess now that I'm stuck here, I can't go to work anymore. And what about my parents? They're eventually going to be concerned about where I ended up, even if I haven't talked to them for a few years.
Shuffle: Don't worry, we've got a cover story for all that.
SCP-1046: I'm going to miss working the bar… It was the only thing I ever felt I was good at.
Shuffle: Do you think you could still make a cup?
SCP-1046: Maybe if I…
[The sound of running water is audible in the kitchen. A cabinet door opens, and the sound of a substance being poured into a container is audible.]
Shuffle: Not bad for someone who is all over the place.
SCP-1046: Heh. So what's your drink of choice?
Shuffle: Think you can swing a salted caramel latte?
SCP-1046: With my eyes closed.
[The sound of milk frothing is audible from the kitchen.]
SCP-1046: You know, salted caramel lattes are my favorites too.
Shuffle: Oh yeah? Very nice. Depending on how good this coffee you make me is, I might be able to swing getting you a job as a barista for the Foundation!
SCP-1046: Really? You'd do that for me?
Shuffle: Of course. You're very lucky in this situation, since we usually lock anomalies up in cells, but you get to stay in your apartment and even have a nice little job doing what you like.
SCP-1046: T-thank you, Julieta.
AFTERWORD: Shuffle stated the coffee produced by SCP-1046 was slightly salty in taste, but was otherwise delicious and well-brewed.
<END LOG>
Following this event, containment of SCP-1046 was established. As per the Integration Program's Mandate, SCP-1046 was offered a job as a barista at the newly established Auxiliary Site-1046. Agent Shuffle visits the object weekly when she is not on deployment.
Salted caramel lattes5 remain the most popular drink ordered by personnel stationed at Auxiliary Site-1046.
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"SCP-1046" by Anonymous, Uncle Nicolini, from theSCP Wiki. Source:https://scpwiki.com/scp-1046. Licensed underCC-BY-SA.
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