DANGEROUS COGNITOHAZARDS LOVE IS IN THE AIR…

What a wonderful thing, romance! At least as old as the pendulum, romance as a genre (not to be confused with the Romantics, or Romance Languages!) remains a staple of literature to this day. Why, could you imagine walking into a (corporate) bookstore and not being able to find a romance? With the SCP Wiki's post-2009 genre-busting track record, we must have aton of…

… ah. Okay. Looks like we don't.

… but what if we did?

Your (in)eligible suitors, brought to you by CuBard

THE BASICS

You are going to submit a character you created, to be romanced by another author's character, from which point it gets a bit more complicated.

**Name:** [the name(s) of your character]**Location:** [links to articles where your character appears. these can be a single page, a tag, a series, or multiple articles. please don't include cameos; we want articles where your character is somewhat important to the plot, or at least the main focus of a major scene]**About me:** [brief description of the character; it can be in-universe from their perspective or out]**Looking for:** [what you want to see in the story, or what your character looks for in love. this will be taken into account during match-ups, during which you will be matched with whoever the contest runner finds the funniest or most engaging]**Limits:** [What you don't want to see in a story with your character, whether that be a specific romance trope, NSFW content, incompatible orientation, or something else. The contest runners will ensure these limits are 100% respected.]

Pay special attention to the "Limits" section, not only of your own post, but of your eventual assignee.It is against the rules to willingly violate someone's Limits.

Some examples:¹

Name: Judas al-Zaman, The Postmaster
Location:A Cloud Over Lichtenberg,I want that twink Obliterated
About me: 🇵🇰🇩🇪🏳️‍🌈 Hi, I'm Judas, I run mail for Outer Lichtenberg. It's cool, you should visit some time. Also I recently got caught in a street war where I accidentally killed someone, and I'm still working through some trauma, so please be patient with me.
Looking for: Men who can keep up with me; someone to go to a punk show with; parkour teacher? 🥺

Limits: No women, Judas is gay.

Name: Theresa Arianna Petrucci, Acolyte Dunst Amherst
Location:How To Clean A Polyester Dress,INTERMISSION: Like a Fly,I want that twink Obliterated
About me: Tall, blonde, and whip-smart. 32-year-old tradfem looking for her Prince Charming, specifically one willing to establish an Integralist empire with the help of Neo-Daevite patsies and brutal chemical warfare.
Looking for: Men who aren't afraid to be strong; someone who'll help me reach new heights; a nice Christian man looking to settle down into the terrorism trade.

Limits: In all seriousness, I'd prefer she not get into a coercive relationship with, like, a Jew or trans person. I'd also prefer the story not be NSFW.

Name: "SCP-5952", "the Warbalang"
Location:SCP-5952
About me: Ancient clay humanoid. Good with kids. Likes nature walks. Hates the Scarlet Church.
Looking for: Someone good with kids; good at not getting lost; willing to look past my appearance.

Limits: 5952 shouldn't abuse the children it saves. It's also part of a species that reproduces asexually through fission, so keep that in mind.

Name: Ydax the Pallid, Agent Lancelot, Anthony Lindell, "SCP-4886"
Location:SCP-4886 (Reimagining ofJack of Clubs byAdminBright)
About me: Do you like hunting? Do you like flatworms? Do you like ancient spymasters? Have you ever wanted to be skinned and replaced, your position used as pretext to commit a string of horrifying murders? Check me out… if you can find me ;)
Looking for: Things with pretty skin; true believers in the Daevite Autocracy; someone to bring home tomy dad.

Limits: Go nuts :)

1. Round 1: Entrants will be given time to write a "romance" featuring both characters. What this means is up to the authors; however, both characters must be prominently involved in the story.
2. Round 2: The winners of Round 1 will be randomly assigned one of the winning stories of Round 1. From there, they will be given time to write a tale that includes their own character in the romance. This can mean anything from breaking the characters up, having them team up to destroy your character, or even incorporating your character into their romance.
3. Round 3: The top four of Round 2 will, once more, be assigned a random winning story, which they now must "complete" in time. I don't give a shit how you do that, as long as you respect the authors' limits.

THE RULES:

1. Characters must be capable of giving informed consent. As such, they must satisfy the following requirements:
   1. Your character cannot be a juvenile.
   2. Your character must be sapient.
   3. Your character must be able to communicate in some form or fashion.
2. Youmust write a romance that involves both characters. What that means is intentionally broad, but at least one character must conduct themselves in a non-platonic manner.
3. Characters must be original characters with at least one significant appearance on the wiki. This can be from an SCP, a tale, a GoI Format, an art piece, a particularly creative essay, whatever! So long as you can point to a wiki piece, you're good.
   • Reimaginings are allowed, so long as they're far-enough removed from the original to be clearly distinguishable. Please note them on the "Location" section as "(Reimagining of [piece/character] by [author])"
   • The contest runners maintain the right to ban certain characters for any reason whatsoever. You will be informed of such as quickly as possible, and are allowed to choose another character.
4. No SCP entries in the contest proper. SCPs will not be counted, except as qualifications for the above rule.
   • Yes, this means every other kind of page is valid. If you want to draw a comic, write a spicy site dossier, or even get creative with an essay, go right ahead.
5. Respect the limits of the authors. If the character's author is uncomfortable with something, do not include it in your story. Deliberate violation of this rule will result in disqualification.
6. Link to the other author's work at the end of yours. Once your author posts their page, this is mandatory.
7. No shenanigans.
   • "Shenanigans" may include, but are not limited to:
     • Sending excess PMs/DMs to promote your work, to the point of spam.
     • Downvoting your competitors works all at once, or within minutes of each's posting.
     • Malicious voting patterns (including malicious upvoting/novoting).
       • This includes downvoting something because you believe it doesn't "deserve" to win the event, irrespective of quality.
     • Encouraging any kind of voting brigade.
   • Plugging your work isabsolutely allowed, as long as it doesn't reach the point of outright spam.
   • Shenanigans rules that pertain to votingalso apply to non-entrants; your votes will not be counted should you be found engaging in such behaviors.
8. Should an entrant drop out of the contest without informing the contest runners, they will be barred from entering the runners' next contest. Please inform the contest runners if you need to drop out.
   • UraniumEmpire strongly recommends the runner of the next OCT bar ghosting entrants.

Timeline

• Submitting your character: May 8th-May 15th, 12AM CDT
• Pairing characters up: May 15th-May 16th, 12 AM CDT
• Writing/posting period 1: May 16th-May 30th,1 PM CDT²
• Voting period 1: May 30th-June 4th, 12 AM CDT
• Writing/posting period 2: June 5th-June 19th, 2023, 12 AM CDT
• Voting period 2: idk man
• Writing/posting period 3: idk man
• Voting period 3: idk man

In all seriousness: due to extensions, a lot of plans have been thrown into the air. I will be updating as things go.

THE PRIZE

UraniumEmpire will pay up to $200 for art³ of the winner's OC (and/or others, potentially), which will be displayed on this page.That necessarily means the art will be SFW.

Bonus Prizes

Pancreatic Failure

Write the sweetest tale of the contest.

Slow Dancing In An Acid Vat

Write the bitterest/most heartbreaking tale of the contest.

Okay, Freak

Write the spiciest tale of the contest.

Ned Loves My Hair

Make at least one reader cry.

You Will Be Assimilated

End your story with a polycule.

The Scorcho

Have your character break into the other's room to read their diary.

Portrait of a [REDACTED] on Fire

Receive art of your pairing, or draw anart page of any pairing you didn't receive; this can be awarded even if you didn't enter the contest.

Ruiz Duchamp Memorial Contest Team Memorial Contest Team Memorial Award

You know what to do.

Event is run byUraniumEmpire