Director Bold's Proposal-J — "Guys, please don't read our SCPs 🥺"

Item #: SCP-001-J-EN-D-EX-ARC

Object Class:Decommissioned Explained

Special Containment Procedures: Personnel are to remind SCP-001-J-EN-D-EX-ARC-1 instances that the SCP Foundation is not real.

Description: SCP-001-J-EN-D-EX-ARC is a phenomenon which allows individuals with internet access to be able to access all Foundation files, regardless of clearance level. Additionally, affected individuals (designated SCP-001-J-EN-D-EX-ARC-1) are able to access the Foundation's private chatroom and discussion boards.

Currently, the only known way of preventing SCP-001-J-EN-D-EX-ARC-1 instances from viewing documentation is to erase it entirely, then place [REDACTED] or [DATA EXPUNGED] where it used to be. Alternatively, one can simply █████ ██████████ ████ ███ ████.

Below is a log of an SCP-001-J-EN-D-EX-ARC-1 instance accessing the Level 5 private chatroom.

→ Guest04645 joined
<Guest04645> helo
<Guest04645> id like to join mtf alpha 9 pls
<Karablue>¹ Who are you?
<Karablue> I mean
<Karablue> The SCP Foundation isn't real
<Karablue> yeah
<Guest04645> i don't believ u
<Karablue> crap
<Karablue> I mean
<Karablue> Of course we're not real
<Karablue> I mean the foundation
<Karablue> Thats not real
<Guest04645> scp reel
<Karablue> It isnt
<Karablue> Actually, we're
<Corvus>² not allowing roleplay
<Karablue> Yeah
<Corvus> and you're roleplaying
<Corvus> which is against the rules
<Karablue> so if you don't stop roleplaying and accept that the foundation isn't real, then you can't be here
<Guest04645> whatever
<Guest04645> i know u guys r lying
<Karablue> Oh no
<cybersqyd>³ This guys good
<Bright>⁴ is there any way we can get rid of him
<bluesoul>⁵ don't worry guys i got this
bluesoul banned Guest04645
← Guest04645 was kicked by bluesoul for: "SCP isn't real, go away"
<Karablue> Thank goodness.
<Corvus> Yeah, that could have been a serious breach of security.
<taylor_itkin>⁶ Well done, team.

Addendum 1: During its monthly meeting, the O5 Council discusses the immense threat SCP-001-J-EN-D-EX-ARC posed, and how to possibly deal with it.

[EXTRANEOUS DATA REMOVED]

O5-1: Now, for our next order of business, Two has prepared a discussion on SCP-001 and how we should deal with it.

O5-2: Thanks, One. Now, we've noticed a drastic number of SCP-001-affected individuals, and after further research, we believe that we can solve this problem. But… it'll require some drastic changes.

O5-6: What… kind of changes?

O5-2:[sighs] First, I think we're gonna need to not have a public website.

[Large outcry from all members of the table.]

O5-2: I know, I know, I don't like it either.

O5-5: We've been using the Wikidot domain for years! Removing our website would be disrespectful!

O5-2: That's the other thing, Five. Wikidot is a poorly-

O5-5: Don't say it.

O5-2: -functioning website. It's barely secure, and we keep losing all our documentation to its weird infinisave glitch.

O5-12: Next you're gonna say the link to our chatroom shouldn't be publicly accessible!

[Arguing ensues.]

O5-1: Enough!

[Room quiets.]

O5-1: Look, Two has a good point. Security is a bit lax. We don'tneed to constantly post Bright and SCP-173 memes to Reddit.

O5-8: But-

O5-1: I know, Eight. The peanutis funny. But we need to destroy SCP-001, even if it requires us to make sacrifices.

O5-10: Yeah. Maybe we should take preventative measures so that all the sensitive content actually requires clearance to see, and isn't just underneath a collapsible telling people of improper clearance not to view it.

O5-2: Thank-

O5-1: However! Two, your ideas are still quite radical. Perhaps we can come to a conclusion that helps eliminate SCP-001, without throwing away our values and traditions.

O5-11: Well, when people find it, and they ask if we're real, we can tell them that we'renot real!

O5-1: I think we may need to go even further.

O5-11: Dang, this is bad. If they won't fall forthat-

O5-9: What was that thing Seven said, during that one incident?

O5-3: He told him not to roleplay, right?

O5-9: Yeah, yeah! Okay, I've got an idea!

O5-6: I'm interested.

O5-9: So what if we told people that this stuff, everything here, it exists, but not really! It would be like, uh… fiction! You know, like in books!

O5-4: I like that! And we can saywe wrote it, like creative writing stuff!

O5-1: I think you may be onto something. Two, what do you think?

[Brief silence.]

O5-2: That's brilliant.

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Paramax Connection
OpusConfidant Wiki - SCP-4645 - Threatini
Diary Of An Existential Kid
Responsible Promotion
Friends Of Us Never Die
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A Team You Can (Maybe) Trust
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"Director Bold's Proposal-J" by Calibold, from theSCP Wiki. Source:https://scpwiki.com/director-bold-s-proposal-j. Licensed underCC-BY-SA.