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Asandwich is an item of food that is understood to be two layers of something (usuallybread but sometimescrackers and in rare caseschicken) with more foodstuffs between those layers. It was invented byKim Jong IlHeavy Weapons Guy a chef who served the Earl of Sandwich as a way to eat a complex meal whileplaying cards (i.e., being able to eat using onlyone hand).

Types of sandwiches[edit]

Probably themost commonly known sandwich is apeanut butter and jelly sandwich. (The UK version involves 'jam' - jelly being mostly a children's desert.)

Elvis Presley's favorite sandwich was peanut butter andbanana.

Certain types of desserts are considered sandwiches, such as Oreo Cookies and It's-Its. And, of course, there are ice cream sandwiches.

Some sandwiches, likeclub sandwiches and Big Macs, have three layers of bread.

If you ever meet a 6' 4" muscular man from Brussels and ask him if he speaks your language, he'll just smile and give you avegemite sandwich.

Any (and I do mean ANY) sandwich can be made better by addingbacon, which can cost between 50¢ and $2.00 (USD) depending on the restaurant at which you're eating, but unless it's made ofturkey it's probably notkosher. For similar prices, sandwiches can also be improved with the addition ofcheese.

The rumor that the musician Mama Cass choked to death on aham sandwich is false — she died due to complications ofobesity, and the sandwich in question, which was next to her bed at the time of death, had not been eaten.^[1]

Other sandwiches[edit]

There is also a town inIllinois called Sandwich, near Plano (but Sandwich is west of Plano, so the maps unfortunately do not read "Plano Sandwich")^[2]. There is also a Sandwich next to Mashpee inMassachusetts.

The wordsandwich can also be used as a verb, meaning to layer items together as if making a sandwich, regardless of the edible qualities of the end result. For example, a passenger sandwiches himself in between two other passengers in a crowded subway.

The Sandwich Islands, named by Captain James Cook in honor of the Earl mentioned above, was the original English name for theHawaiian Islands, much to the dismay of the people already living there. The name didn't last long.

Not sandwiches[edit]

Tacos and burritos achieve basically the same thing, but are not typically thought of as sandwiches. This does not diminish their value as prized finger food and the same rules forbacon andcheese apply. Be warned that while delicious the consumption of burritos comes at considerablerisk.

Other examples include:

Sushi is layers of something between rice, wrapped in seaweed.

Crepes are the French version of stuff rolled inside of bread and are perhaps best enjoyed withfreedom fries.

Wraps apply a lot of the same as tacos and burritos, and are typically the onlyvegan option in a restaurant's menu, beside perhaps one of the salads if you leave out all the good stuff in it.

Bruschetta is an Italian non-sandwich that is stuff on top of bread, is simple to make, and impresses everyone at a party.

Pizza is Bruschetta's much humbler cousin; however it is even more popular at parties and even easier to make: you just order it and have it delivered.

Pop-Tarts are 1/2 of a sandwich with dessert stuff instead of meal stuff.

As a taunt[edit]

The phrase "Make me a sandwich!" or "Make me a sammich!" or "Bitch, get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich!" is an internetmeme that is deliberatelysexist, usually meant to underminefeminist arguments on forums ordenigratefemale gamers while playing online video games that feature player-vs.-player action.^[3] Since it is only recently thatmale dominance of online video games has decreased, this phrase is employed by some frustratedchauvinists who can't conceive how it's even possible to bepwned by awoman. This phrase loses some of its effectiveness in certain games, however, where the only communication between players is among members of a player's own squad.

Recipes (edible)[edit]

BLT

• BLT, which stands for Bacon, Lettuce, and Tomato; no need for a link, figure it out on your own!
• MLT, which stands for Mutton, Lettuce and Tomato. The mutton should be nice and lean, and the tomato ripe.
• Crazy Leon
• Monte Cristo, best served hot
• Your standardReuben, which determines whether or not the pub you're at is worth its salt

Recipes (inedible)[edit]

• GLBT Sandwich (well, that's debatable I suppose)
• Knuckle Sandwich
• Monte Cristo, best served cold^[4]
• Putting two buns at opposite sides of Earth makes for one hell of a sandwich.^[5]

Recipes (fake)[edit]

• Magic Sandwich

Footnotes[edit]

• Food woo
• Fun
• Food

• Pages using DynamicPageList parser function