(It’s OK to be) The Introverted Coder

Gabi Dobocan

7 min read

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May 5, 2020

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Codersaren’t the most sociable people out there. Yes, the old “introverted developer” trope. In the words of researcher Timo Gnambs, “prevalent stereotypes describe software engineers associally inept introverts that are single-mindedly focused on computers.” But his2015 research finds that programming skill isnot associated with socially undesirable traits — instead, it is associated with positive attributes like openness and conscientiousness. So: is your introversion a super-power you can leverage to benefit your work and your career?

After all, it makes sense: most of us didn’t become programmers because we enjoy working with people;au contraire, we feel more at home alongside predictable, controllable, rational machines, focused on solving interesting, challenging problems. Still, to solve the most significant and most exciting problems of all, work with people we must.

It’s through collaboration with managers, testers, data scientists, and other team members that we deliver goals.Professionals work together. But, as I’ve come to learn over many years, you can’t work together if you are always sitting in the corner, headphones plugged in, away mode activated. So here’s a collection of tips and hacks that have helped me navigate the awkward corners of professional interactions, and have nudged me in the direction of being more appreciative and proud of my overall quirkiness.

Make Yourself Heard

Your every instinct will tell you to go as unnoticed as possible during your workday. You’ll tend to speak less or go last during stand-ups, you’ll cut the pleasantries and get right to it, you’ll find it hard to pitch your ideas or go into details about your thought process. That’s ok — that’s what being introverted feels like; you’re still working hard, meeting deadlines, and crushing those KPIs, right?

Right, but there’s a couple of unintended consequences that could come back to bite you.

Some people will read your attitude as indifference. If you never contribute ideas, crack jokes, or engage in dialogue, you’ll eventually come off as distant and uncaring. Some tips to mitigate this:

• Turn on your cam during calls.Say hello to, andsmile at others when you enter. Say good-bye as you leave. Use plenty ofnonverbal communication,nod, andsmile to let others know you are paying attention. When in a physical meet, keep eye contact with the speaker and slightly lean forward to show interest.
• Think out loud andask clarification questions. Start a dialogue with one of your ideas once in a while. Many fear this will make them look dumb, but it’s usually quite the opposite — it’s a good indicator that you’re engaged and active.
• Get people’s attention by using openings like: “I’d like to add something…” or “Here’s what I’m thinking…”. When you need to learn more on a topic, let the team know: “I’ll do some research on that, and I’ll be back with my findings tomorrow.”
• Speak a bit louder than you usually do.
• When giving your update, make sure tohighlight your work, and get into a bit ofdetail on the challenges you needed to overcome and the decisions you had to take in the process.Make people aware of your work and of the effort you’re putting in, especially around the more demanding tasks. Don’t exaggerate your achievements, but do highlight them.

You might, unwillingly, cluster knowledge. When programmers in a team start building walls around their code, it effectively becomes a black box and a liability to the whole project. Even if your code is beautiful and 100% bug-free, it will quickly come to be replaced if nobody else knows how it works or how to maintain it. To mitigate this:

• Write extensive documentation.Writing should generally come easier to introverts, so take advantage of that to create stellar docs or specs that everyone will love.
• Host a recurring company-wideworkshop to introduce everyone to your work and get feedback. It’s also an excellent opportunity topractice public speaking in a safe, controlled environment.

Establish Rapport

Introverts are sometimes at risk of being labeled cold or hard to communicate with, and that can beproblematic for their careers. Acknowledging the fact that human beings are imperfect, emotional, warm machines has made me, over the years, a lot more open — almost eager at times — to share meaningful experiences with teammates. It creates bridges that might last way more than any single job or project will.

• The most important thing to remember: don’t be afraid toshow openness and vulnerability. It’s how we build trust.Be upfront about your shyness, be the first tocrack a joke at your own expense when adequate, but alsotalk passionately about the things that get you excited and the stuff that you’re great at.
• Express youremotional reactions, occasionally.Don’t take yourself too seriously.
• Give your teammatescompliments and acknowledgment. Congratulate them on their accomplishments, and ask about their lives and their interests.
• Ask for feedback on your work or ideas.
• Remember people’s names, and use them in conversations. In the words of Dale Carnegie, “a person’s name is to that person, the sweetest, most important sound in any language.”
• Smile a lot. Yes, this one matters :)

Know How Extroverts Work

Extroverts generally show a preference for seeking, engaging in, and enjoying social interactions. Theymake more eye contact and speak more frequently than introverts. They aresignificantly more confident and accurate when interpreting the meaning of nonverbal communication than introverts (“the extravert advantage”). And they have some general behavioral patterns that you should be aware of:

• They’reverbal and conversational. They talk and think out loud. They understand and process ideas via language, so it’s essential togive them some details and insight into your decisions or actions, otherwise they may start doubting that you took the proper time to do research.
• Theykeep the conversation moving. Expect focus to shift between a variety of topics quickly. Introverts take time to polish and think-through their words and opinions, so it’s not uncommon for an extrovert to change the subject before you’ve even adequately formulated something to say.
• They enjoy sharing and learning aboutpersonal experiences. Ask them exciting and inviting questions and watch them blossom.Introverts are good listeners and tend to ask questions, so they’re naturally well-suited for this type of interaction.
• They expectimmediate action and consequences. What can we do right now to make some visible progress on the issue at hand? What do we need to do to get that bug fixed today? A week from now is forever in the extroverted calendar. To an introvert, this might feel like unwelcome pressure at times. Still, at the same time, it might improve team dynamics, especially in teams prone to procrastination or lack of communication — so yay for extroverts pushing us to be better sometimes!

Be prepared

Introverts aren’t too keen on surprises. We’re control freaks. Unexpected situations might impede us from making the best decisions, and if there’s one effective way of dealing with uncertainty, it’s preparation.

• Best anxiety killer, in my opinion:know your topic. If you feel like a world-class expert in whatever you’ll need to speak about, you’ll feel more relaxed — there won’t be much that could come up to surprise you in the conversation.
• Write down a few comments or questions on the topics of talks you participate in beforehand, so you can make quick remarks.
• Ask for what you want. Write out in advance what you want to ask for, and be specific about it.
• Anticipate possible objections, and write them down, as well as your rebuttals.
• Practice yourtalk in front of a mirror or with a friend.

And most importantly, keep in mind that introversion and extroversion arecomplex, multi-faceted personality constructs. Meaning that most individuals lie somewhere in between the two extremes and exhibit traits of both. It’s never about changing who you deeply are, but about discovering the wisdom to thrive by making the most of the things you’re individually, uniquely great at.

For more data and advice on navigating the workplace and beyond as an introvert, I highly recommend two excellent books written for introverts, by introverts: “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking” by Susan Cain and “The Introvert Advantage: How Quiet People Can Thrive in an Extrovert World” by Marti Olsen Laney.

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