Three's Company is an Americansitcom that aired from March 15, 1977, to September 18, 1984, onABC. The show revolves around a man who must pretend to be gay in order to move in with two female roommates. It is based on the British sitcom,Man About the House.
Janet Wood:[to Jack] Let's get one thing straight first. This is your room. That is our room. One false move and we take you right to the vet.
Stanley Roper: Are you crazy, moving in with two girls? Not in my building, you don't!
Jack Tripper: Wait a minute, it'd be strictly platonic.
Stanley Roper: Well, I don't care what it is.[pause] What does that mean?
Helen Roper: Like you and me, Stanley.
Mr. Roper: Sorry to barge in on you again like this, but me and the wife are having a little disagreement about a certain matter of, uh...[coughs] sex.
Chrissy: You know Jack did the right thing. Fighting is uncivilized. You know, if women ran the world, there'd be none of these stupid wars.
Mr. Roper: Yeah, all the countries would nag each other to death.
Janet: Hey, how come we get the Sunday paper delivered? We don't have a subscription.
Chrissy: Oh, I don't know, I heard it land on the front balcony this morning, so I went out and got it. Ah, you know, that paper boy was so thoughtful, he waited for me to bend over and pick it up before he rode away.
Chrissy: Duh! The same thing you're doing, only first.
Mr. Roper: I came up to shampoo the rug.
Chrissy: Why? Does it have dandruff?
Cindy: If my man was cheating on me I'd break every bone in his body!
Jack: You'll do that on your wedding night.
Jack: Is something burning?
Janet: Oh NO! I left my underwear in the oven.
Chrissy: Too bad hot pants are not in style.
Mr. Roper: I bet this cot told some great stories.
Mrs. Roper: I wish ours could.
Mrs. Roper: I need a new stove
Mr. Roper: There's nothing wrong with the stove you have.
Mrs. Roper: I better not break up the set.
Mr. Roper: What set?
Mrs. Roper: An old stove, and old husband, and they both take too long to heat up.
Jack: I have a surprise for you girls!
Chrissy: Oh, I love surprises. It's funny that you never suspect them!
Larry: I just wanted to know if you wanted to spend an evening with a beautiful, young lady.
Jack: No thanks, pal. I'd rather spend an evening with Janet.
Chrissy: I asked Jack to help me make the bed and we couldn't get the sheets on the mattress. I'd pull my corner and his would fall off and he'd pull his corner and mine would fall off.[as Mr. Roper enters] We made a complete shambles of the bedroom!
Mrs. Roper: Oh, that must have been funny.
Chrissy: No matter how hard we tried, Jack and I could not get it on! Then we started laughing and Janet walked in and she found the two of us in bed.
Mr. Roper: Hold it, hold it. Where is Jack now?
Chrissy: He's in there with Janet. He's trying to get it on with her. Jack is so clumsy about those things!
Mrs. Roper: So's Stanley.
Mr. Roper: Wait a minute! I want those two out of that bedroom right now!
Mrs. Roper: Why? You want them to drag the bed out on the front porch and make it there?
Mr. Roper:[shocked] WHAT?!
Jack: Hi, Mr. Roper. Hi, Mrs. Roper.
Mrs. Roper: Oh, hi, kids!
Jack:[to Janet] Don't ever ask me to try that again!
Mr. Roper: I knew Jack wouldn't change. You can't tinker with a tinkerbell.
