Perhaps narcissism is best defined as a need to look on other people as mirrored surfaces who satisfy us only when they reflect back a loving or admiring image of ourselves. When we look into another's eyes, in other words, we are not looking to see whothey are, but how we are reflectedin their eyes. By this definition, which of us can honestly disown our share of narcissism?
According to recentcultural criticism, Narcissus has replacedOedipus as themyth of our time. Narcissism is now seen to be at the root of everything from the ill-fatedromance withviolentrevolution to the enthralled massconsumption of state-of-the-art products and the 'lifestyles of therich andfamous'.
Thetrademark of a narcissisticmother is her inability to givelove orempathy to herchild. One of thehallmarksymptoms of a narcissist is her inability to perceive others as people with needs of their own. A narcissistic mother is only able to see her children as extensions of herself-littlemirrors that reflect back to her. She values her children only so much as the children can benefit her; she is exceptionally self absorbed, sometimes to the point ofgrandiosity. A mother with narcissism may demand that her children excel inschool andsports for the simple reason that it will make her look like an admirable mother to people outside of the immediate family. It is of no importance to her whether or not the children develop, or even learn, from these achievements as long as herreputation remains intact.
Oh man, at thatend not much has been left of your excellence, nothing of all that you have been boasting about throughlife - onlysex,fear,self-admiration and a few other things you are usually ashamed of.
Karel Čapek, "Last Things of Man" (Stories from the Second Pocket, 1932)
When you are 18, 19, 20, you're used to beingphotographed all thetime, in a certain way. So, the narcissism becomes almost out of control. And the way that young women are photographed, they becomeaddicted to this feedback of theimage.
The difference between narcissism and self-love is a matter of depth. Narcissus falls inlove not with theself, but with animage orreflection of the self—with the persona, the mask. The narcissist sees himself through theeyes of another, changes his lifestyle to conform with what is admired by others, tailors his behavior and expression of feelings to what will please others. Narcissism is … voluntaryblindness, an agreement … not to look beneath thesurface.
I am a recovering narcissist. I thought narcissism was aboutself-love till someone told me there is a flip side to it. It is actually drearier than self-love; it isunrequited self-love.
Life is a stage, and when the curtain falls upon an act, it is finished and forgotten. The emptiness of such a life is beyondimagination. I have emphasiszed the incongruence oropposition ofself andimage in the narcissist.
L'Oreal's slogan 'because you're worth it' has come to epitomisebanal narcissism of early 21st centurycapitalism; easyindulgence and effortless self-love all available at a flick of thecredit card.
I do not love; I do not love anybody except myself. That is a rather shocking thing to admit. I have none of theselflesslove of mymother. I have none of the plodding, practical love...I am, to beblunt andconcise, in love only with myself, my puny being with its small inadequatebreasts and meager, thintalents. I am capable ofaffection for those who reflect my ownworld.
Consumer-orientated andmedia-saturatedcultures have given rise to `a new narcissism'...within cultural studies there has been a recent proliferation of accounts of the rise of narcissism in analyses ofconsumer culture,celebrity culture and new media...narcissism is thepathology of our time...narcissism acquired its meaning and force as a critical term through its stigmatizing attribution to specific sexual and social groups...the contentious cultural andpoliticalhistory of narcissism needs to be acknowledged within contemporary theoretical accounts of `cultural narcissism' and `media narcissism'.
Narcissism is often the driving force behind the desire to obtain aleadership position. Perhaps individuals with strong narcissisticpersonality features are more willing to undertake the arduous process of attaining a position of power.
Manfred Kets de Vries and Danny Miller. "Narcissism and leadership: An object relations perspective."Human Relations 38.6 (1985): 583-601.
Thisstory ["The Depressed Person"] was the most painful thing I ever wrote. It's about narcissism, which is a part ofdepression. The character has traits of myself. I really lostfriends while writing on that story, I became ugly and unhappy and just yelled at people. Thecruel thing with depression is that it's such a self-centered illness -Dostoevsky shows that pretty good in his "Notes from Underground". The depression is painful, you're sapped/consumed by yourself; the worse the depression, the more you just think about yourself and the stranger and repellent you appear to others.
