• Write forThe Signpost. Everyone will always adore what you have to say, especially if it's in an Opinion or Humour column.
• Make small changes to every article you can think ofas fast as you can.
  • You should make sure every article is written in thecorrect version of English.
  • Bonus points if your edits justlook pretty, or featurered and green (you have to be festive for theChristmas season).
  • Extra bonus points if you run a botwithout telling anyone.
• Create articles for everything you see onthe news, especially if it's justnormal stuff, like when the library is closed next.
  • Bonus points if you create thousands of articles aboutpopulated places.
  • Extra bonus points if you justmake things up.
• Editevery subject your local politicians talk about and only ever take their word for whatthe truth is. When people tell you that you need to cite reliable sources, accuse them of beingbiased shills andrevert every edit they've ever made.
  • If the previous suggestion is too difficult, only edit articles aboutone topic. Some good options aretree shaping,neuro-linguistic programming, andScientology.
• Never communicate with others. You may think that this would behelpful, but you would be wrong. Other editors would rather be editing content instead of talking with you and if you ignore them, they don't have to write a reply!
  • If you're too extroverted for this to work, constantly tell people abouthow awesome you are and how you could neverbe replaced. Never bepolite, because only weak cowards do that!
    • If you are a coward,exhaust your enemies with words and time.
• If you get taken to a noticeboard, remind people that they are wasting their time and that what they really should be doing is writing like you.
  • You should also remind people that you arealways right and that you never getblocked for long.
  • Explain that it wasn't actually you who made those horrible edits, butyour grandpa.
• When you get blocked, make sure tocreate new accounts andrepeat the same behaviour. Consider yoursockpuppet investigation page to be a trophy collection where each entry adds to your score. Be so persistent that thousands of innocent people get caught in thecrossfire.

Oh, you were looking for how to make friends on Wikipedia? This is actually meant to be a checklist on how to make so many enemies thatpeople don't want you to come back. Please don't follow this guide as if it was serious advice. That will be in the guide for how to make enemies.

This is the perfect checklist for the new year, great job.Vestrian24Bio10:04, 15 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

No notes! Perfect! We're best friends now, right? RIGHT!? -UtherSRG(talk)12:17, 15 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Sure :)Clovermoss🍀(talk)14:52, 15 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

this is good advice does homophobia racism or transphobia give me friend points????•Cyberwolf•talk?18:54, 15 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Perhaps a numbered list would be more convenient for those following along at home?Polygnotus (talk)19:10, 15 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Numbered lists don't really fit the formatting (if you open this up in source and see where the **s are, that would be impossible). I also just don't like the way numbered lists look, to be quite frank.Clovermoss🍀(talk)22:24, 15 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

For some reason <input type="checkbox"> is not an acceptable HTML tag in wikicode. Oh well, I don't like new year's resolutions anyway.Polygnotus (talk)23:41, 15 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

I do!Clovermoss🍀(talk)23:50, 15 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

No notes here. Fantastically funny list! I'd also say, on a more genuine note, that joining the Wikimedia Commons Discord server is also a great way to meet other editors with similar interests!XFalcon2004x (talk)16:09, 16 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]