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Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/Assessment/Bertrand Clauzel

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Bertrand Clauzel

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Nominator(s):LeChatiliers Pupper (talk)

Bertrand Clauzel (edit |talk |history |links |watch |logs)

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I am nominating this article for A-Class review on behalf ofLeChatiliers PupperHawkeye7(discuss)04:25, 2 September 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Cheers I cant figure out what I was doing wrong but thanks for the help :)
--
Just a couple notes for reviewers I did the B class review myself - this is also the first time I reviewed anything on wiki. So I apologise if there are substantive errors there.
As for why I'm submitting, the page has been expanded about 400% and has had a peer review and help from the guild of copy editors too.LeChatiliers Pupper (talk)04:45, 3 September 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Hawkeye7

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  • LinkNational Guard (France)
  • There is a portrait of Clauzel (File:Bertrand Clauzel (1772-1842) par Georges Rouget).jpg) available
  • "The Dropsical Woman the painting was gifted to Clauzel who..." Run-on sentence
  • "The Dropsical Woman" ->The Woman with Dropsy Should be in italics wherever it appears. (MOS:NAMESANDTITLES)
  • "He was personally gifted the Gerard Dou painting, The Dropsical Woman, the King of Sardinia had previously received offers to buy it for one million francs." Another run-on sentence
  • "where it remains today" Consider using{{As of}} (MOS:REALTIME)
  • "In 1799, Clauzel was promoted to général de brigade." It was in 5 February. Be precise to help people trying to use Wikipedia to find facts.
  • "during the campaign that spring" Avoid using seasons to refer to a time of year. (MOS:SEASON)
  • "with a promotion to Divisional General" ->général de division ({{lang|fr|[[général de division]]}}) Consistency and capitalisation
  • "General Thouvenot" ->Général de brigadePierre Thouvenot with link. He has not been mentioned before.
  • "conspired on a plot to overthrow Rochambeau and exile him" Delete "on a plot"
  • "Until in 1806 when he was sent to the army of Naples" -> "In 1806 when he was sent to the army of Naples"
  • " Wellington, having previously secured key fortresses at the Spanish–Portuguese border " -> GeneralLord Wellington
  • "Lourve" -> "Louvre"
  • "Due to his donation to the Lourve of the Dropsical Woman because it was the first painting to be donated to the Louvre Clauzel's name is at the top of the list on the plaque visible in the rotunda of Apollo." Run-on sentence; re-phrase
  • "Clauzel's name is one of 660 French generals whose names are inscribed on the Arc de Triomphe, his name appearing at the top of column 34 on the west side. " Another run-on sentence

Hawkeye7(discuss)23:19, 4 September 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you, sorry I only saw that there had been comments now. But yes I have made all of these corrections, checked for style consistency too and reworded / split some more run on sentences.LeChatiliers Pupper (talk)05:07, 22 November 2025 (UTC)[reply]

HF

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I will review later this week.Hog FarmTalk21:10, 26 October 2025 (UTC)[reply]

  • "the Guard was deployed by his father Gabriel to invest in the episcopal palace of Mirepoix and harass the bishop in 1790" - this doesn't make since? "invest in" would be a financial transaction, which doesn't seem to be what's being indicated here. I'm guessing you mean "to invest the episcopal palace ...", using the verb form of invest which refers to placing something under siege?
  • "Clauzel would donate it to the Louvre where it remains today." - while this appears to be true, we can't support a statement of something continuing to the modern era to a source from 1844.
  • "In this rank, he continued to served in Italy, during which he won great distinction[2] at the battles of Trebbia and latter Novi where fought on the left wing of the army initially helping to stabilise it against the Austrian attack but managed to retreat his own brigade after the enemy breakthrough enveloped much of the French and trapped them the Bormida river." is very much a run-on sentence
  • "During his time in Le Cap, he purchased at auction a house previously owned by Toussaint Louverture, during latter corruption controversy over property in Algeria he would cite this as a model purchase that furthered French national interests encouraging stability in the fragile colony" - I don't think this is quite grammatical.

Honestly, I don't think the prose quality is up to standard. There are terms that don't appear to be used correctly, awkward grammatical construtions, and there's a general stilted feel to the writing. This really needs a copy edit (WP:GOCE does good work) before it can be considered for promotion to A-Class.Hog FarmTalk01:22, 2 November 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Grammar changes have been made not just to what you and Hawkeeye7 suggest, the remaining in the Louvre has been cited.
The only thing I have not changed is "invest", I appreciate its a bit clunky / archaic but I think if I recall it is the words the source uses - and its a brief mention in the source it doesnt exactly explain what happened so I think I recall just going with that word to avoid rephrasing and introducing inaccuracy.LeChatiliers Pupper (talk)05:05, 22 November 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Coordinator note

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@LeChatiliers Pupper: You haven't responded to the comments above, though you have edited the article quite a bit since they were left. If you don't engage with this review process I will close it as a failed A-class nomination.Nick-D (talk)04:58, 22 November 2025 (UTC)[reply]

I actually just found the comments this week, sorry trying to figure out how to reply now.LeChatiliers Pupper (talk)05:02, 22 November 2025 (UTC)[reply]
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