TheU-Haul lesbian orU-Haul syndrome is astereotype oflesbianrelationships[1] referring to the idea that lesbians tend to move in together after a short period of time (e.g., after the second date). It suggests an extreme inclination towardcommitted relationships. Depending on context, the term can be considered humorous, complimentary, or pejorative.[2][3]
A joke which referencesU-Haul (a brand of self-move rental trucks and trailers) became well known inlesbian culture.[4]
Question: What does a lesbian bring on a second date?
Answer: A U-Haul.
It is considered a staple of lesbian humor.[5] It is often attributed to comicLea DeLaria,[6][7] who claimed in her 1997 comedy album,Box Lunch, that she had written it in 1989 — in the album, she gets the audience to yell back the punchline, showing it was already well-known at the time of recording.[8]
Reference to a U-Haul later became a stereotype ofsexual identity in thegay community. It is sometimes followed or preceded by a standard joke about gay men:
Question: What does a gay man bring on a second date?
Answer: What second date?[9][8]
The joke is also popular outside theLGBTQ community.[9]
Psychologists note that the U-Haul joke epitomizes the perceived phenomenon of lesbians to form intense emotional connections, referred to in gay slang as an "urge to merge".[10] Critics of this alleged tendency suggest that it is used by lesbians to avoid the risks involved with dating.[11] In their view, an aversion to the risks of dating is linked to a stunted development of intimate relationships during the teenage years when most gays and lesbians arein the closet. With the freedom of adulthood, lesbians become drawn to U-Haul relationships, appreciating their intensity and intimacy.[12]
Some psychologists also believe that this behavior can be unhealthy.[13] They argue that the short dating-span bypasses serious discussion on many relationship issues prior to moving in (such as sexual compatibility or future expectations) and this can manifest itself in various problems later on.[14]
I had a girl, and I figured after seven days I could trust her, so I moved her into my house. Typical lesbian relationship, huh, women? As perfectly exemplified by the joke I wrote in 1989. Everybody: what does a lesbian bring on a second date? [audience yells back: A U-Haul!] What does a gay man bring on a second date? What second date?
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