| "The Cigar Store Indian" | |||
|---|---|---|---|
| Seinfeld episode | |||
| Episodeno. | Season 5 Episode 10 | ||
| Directed by | Tom Cherones | ||
| Written by | Tom Gammill &Max Pross | ||
| Production code | 510 | ||
| Original air date | December 9, 1993 (1993-12-09) | ||
| Guest appearances | |||
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| Episode chronology | |||
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| List of episodes | |||
"The Cigar Store Indian" is the 74th episode of theNBC sitcomSeinfeld. It is the tenth episode of the fifth season, and first aired on December 9, 1993.[1] In this episode,Jerry givesElaine acigar store Indian, which starts his flirtation with aNative American off on the wrong foot;George brings a woman home while his parents are away; Elaine ends up on the hook for replacing George's father's copy ofTV Guide; andKramer comes up with a "coffee table book aboutcoffee tables".
George brings his friends over while his parents are out, but must leave no trace since he is not allowed to host "parties". George is horrified whenJerry leaves drink stains on a coffee table. He demands that Jerry drive him to refinish the table, so Jerry reneges on his promise to driveElaine home for girls' poker night. Jerry hands her the Costanzas'TV Guide to read on the subway home.
Kramer is inspired by the incident to pitch a "coffee table book about coffee tables" to Elaine, who halfheartedly promises to present it toMr. Lippman at Pendant Publishing. AtQueensboro station, Kramer risks getting off to buy agyro on the platform, believing he can get back in time. He gets only one arm through the closing doors, and gets his gyro stolen out of his hand. Ricky, aTV Guide fan, is delighted to learn that Kramer is not Elaine's boyfriend, and tries to impress her with his encyclopedic knowledge. Elaine leaves theTV Guide behind, and Ricky finds the Costanzas' address on it.
Jerry looks for an apology gift for Elaine at the refinishing shop, plotting to also impress Elaine's newly-single friend Winona. He buys acigar store Indian, and George uses this chance to impress store employee Sylvia.
Jerry unveils the "kitschy" cigar store Indian, along with an apology card with apeace pipe joke, to a cold reception from Elaine's poker buddies. As he pantomimes tribal chants and dances with the Indian, Winona takes offense and walks out. Elaine, appalled, informs Jerry that Winona isNative American. Jerry apologizes to Winona and asks her out, but he then offends a Chinese postal worker by asking him for directions to a Chinese restaurant. Worse, Kramer, who gladly took the Indian off Elaine's hands,ululates a war cry to show off as his taxi passes by.
George takes Sylvia home, pretending the outdated decor and music are his own, and making an excuse for being locked out of the liquor cabinet. However, he leaves hiscondom wrapper on his parents' bed after sex. George and Jerry get the table back in time, butFrank is incensed that Elaine took hisTV Guide, rendering his collection incomplete, andEstelle refuses to use the bed. George gets grounded.
Jerry gets a date with Winona after all, but starts catching himself saying every word with indigenous connotations, like "reservations" and "scalper". He manages to get Winona's issue of Frank's missingTV Guide for Elaine. Ricky delivers a papercraft bouquet he cut out of theTV Guide to the Costanzas'. Frank's outrage at this is placated when he and Ricky bond over hisTV Guide collection. Elaine brings the replacementTV Guide, having dripped sauce all over it while eating a subway gyro. Ricky, leaping to defend Elaine from Frank, knocks over theTV Guide-laden coffee table. When Estelle takes the coffee table to refinish again, Sylvia learns the truth about George from her.
Winona needs herTV Guide back for the cover interview withAl Roker; Jerry catches himself once again as he is about to call her anIndian giver, but too late this time.
Kramer is disappointed that Elaine never intended to pitch his book, but runs into Lippman himself while trying to sell the Indian to an actual cigar store. Kramer sells it to Lippman instead, and personally pitches his book. Elaine arrives at the office to the horror of Lippman flaunting both the cigar store Indian and Kramer's book, and ends up assigned to work on the book.
Elaine and Jerry finally order a copy of theTV Guide for Frank. On the subway once more, Jerry risks getting off for a gyro, but gets only one arm through the closing doors, and gets his gyro stolen by Roker himself. Roker is delighted to learn that Jerry is not Elaine's boyfriend.
Tom Gammill andMax Pross's original draft for the episode was called "The Moose Head"; in this version, Jerry buys Elaine a moose head, and Winona is offended by the gift because she is ananimal rights activist. Show creatorsLarry David andJerry Seinfeld felt the moose head was too reminiscent of sitcoms from decades past, and directed Gammill and Pross to replace it with something more politically incorrect.[2]
According to Pross, the incident with the Chinese postman was taken "almost verbatim" from his real life. While walking throughChinatown late at night, Pross asked a postman if he knew of a Chinese restaurant that was still open, and the postman started screaming at him, thinking Pross assumed he knew where the restaurants were because he was Chinese rather than because he was a postman.[2]