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Short description: Mexican gridiron football coach and former player
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Great work! Feel free to disagree with anything. It's mostly minor.
Comments
Refs technically aren't supposed to be in the lead. I see why you did it though, adding his full name to the first sentence of the early life section would make that sentence awkward.
In regards to the first paragraph of early life, and possibly other sections of the article, is there a particular reason that all the references are at the end of the paragraph? It's kind of hard to tell what is citing what. Are all three of those refs used for each sentence in that paragraph? Thanks.
I will be better clarifying the source of each claim.Not done
"the inaugural game played at the Estadio Olímpico Universitario" Do you know what type of game that was? Just curious.
It was an edition of theClásico Poli-Universidad [es], the most storied rivalry in Mexican college football played between UNAM and IPN, which I've added to the prose. Please feel free to suggest better wording.
Is intermedia under Liga Mayor? intermedia is like the freshman team probably, right?
Precisely, something like a freshman/sophomore team.Licentiate degrees can take up to six years depending on the major and players were given five years of eligibility at the time, so young players started out inintermedia to get reps.
"defending champion Pieles Rojas de Acción Deportiva" Were they the defending national champs or conference?
Defending natty champs. Done
"was named the ONEFA Coach of the Year for the first time" Link ONEFA.
Done
"win over the combined IPN selection" what's IPN mean?
TheInstituto Politécnico Nacional (IPN) is UNAM's traditional rival. By this time, both programs had been broken up into multiple teams. They put together "all-star" selections and continued to play their annual rivalry game at the end of the season. I am welcome to any suggestions on the wording for this sentence, as with any others, considering I'm treading onto new territory here.
"He got in touch with Tennessee assistant Joe Avezzano" got isn't actually proper grammar but I can't think of a better way to word it off of the top of my head either. If you can't think of anything either, just leave it.
Maybe "connected with" or "was able to reach"?
"García Miravete led the Cóndores UNAM to nine ONEFA national championships" unlink ONEFA
Done
"their option attack" Should that be linked toRun-pass option?
I'm actually not entirely sure. :/ I suppose I didn't want to assume, but probably so?
"and competed in the 14th Eurobowl under his direction." I don't see them listed atEurobowl?
Fix the citation needed tag. (looks like you're the one that added it, perhaps on accident?)
No, I think I was unable to find the original source where I found the information. I need to find a good source for that.Not done
"Finally, he was the head coach of the Borregos Salvajes Campus Santa Fe from 2010 to 2014, serving in the role for five seasons." I guess you couldn't find any more details on those five years as head coach?
I noticed the medal box said the national team finished first twice and second once but I don't see that in the body?
Done
Maybe we could expand the lead a little as well. Maybe add something from the legacy section?
Feel free to edit. I'm terrible at leads. Maybe moving his playing career sentence?
Spot checks
See comment above
Ref 38 looks good. Though it doesn't actually say he was legendary.