Politeness is the practical application of good manners oretiquette so as not to offend others and to put them at ease. It is a culturally defined phenomenon, and therefore what is considered polite in oneculture can sometimes be quiterude or simply eccentric in anothercultural context.
While the goal of politeness is to refrain from behaving in an offensive way so as not to offend others, and to make all people feel relaxed and comfortable with one another, these culturally defined standards at times may be broken within the context ofpersonal boundaries – this is known aspositive politeness.
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AnthropologistsPenelope Brown andStephen Levinson identified four kinds of politeness, deriving fromErving Goffman's concept offace:
Some cultures, groups, and individuals prefer some ideals of politeness over the other. In this way, politeness is culturally bound, and even within broader cultures, people may disagree.
During theEnlightenment era, a self-conscious process of the imposition of polite norms and behaviors became a symbol of being a genteel member of theupper class. Upwardly mobilemiddle classbourgeoisie increasingly tried to identify themselves with the elite through their adopted artistic preferences and their standards of behavior. They became preoccupied with precise rules ofetiquette, such as when to showemotion, the art of elegant dress and graceful conversation and how to act courteously, especially with women. Influential in this new discourse was a series of essays on the nature of politeness in a commercial society, penned by the philosopherLord Shaftesbury in the early 18th century.[1] Shaftesbury defined politeness as the art of being pleasing in company: "'Politeness' may be defined a dext'rous management of our words and actions, whereby we make other people have better opinion of us and themselves."[2]
Periodicals, such asThe Spectator, founded as a daily publication byJoseph Addison andRichard Steele in 1711, gave regular advice to its readers on how to be a polite gentleman. Its stated goal was "to enliven morality with wit, and to temper wit with morality ... to bring philosophy out of the closets and libraries, schools and colleges, to dwell in clubs and assemblies, at tea-tables and coffeehouses." It provided its readers with educated, topical talking points, and advice on how to carry on conversations and social interactions in a polite manner.[3]
The art of polite conversation and debate was particularly cultivated in thecoffeehouses of the period.Conversation was supposed to conform to a particular manner, with the language of polite and civil conversation considered to be essential to the conduct of coffeehouse debate and conversation.[4][5] The concept of "civility" referred to a desired social interaction which valued sober and reasoned debate on matters of interest.[6] Established rules and procedures for proper behavior, as well as conventions, were outlined bygentleman's clubs, such as Harrington's Rota Club. Periodicals, includingThe Tatler andThe Spectator, intended to infuse politeness into English coffeehouse conversation, as their explicit purpose lay in the reformation of English manners and morals.[7]
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There is a variety of techniques one can use to seem polite. Some techniques include expressing uncertainty and ambiguity throughhedging and indirectness, polite lying or use ofeuphemisms (which make use of ambiguity as well asconnotation).
Additionally, one can usetag questions to direct statements, such as "You were at the store, weren't you?" There are three types of tags: modal tags, affective tags, and facilitative tags. Modal tags request information of which the speaker is uncertain: "You haven't been to the store yet, have you?" Affective tags indicate concern for the listener: "You haven't been here long, have you? Facilitative tags invite the addressee to comment on the request being made: "You can do that, can't you?" Finally, softeners reduce the force of what would be a brusque demand: "Hand me that thing, could you?"[citation needed]
Some studies[8] have shown that women are more likely to use politeness formulas than men, though the exact differences are not clear. Most current research has shown that gender differences in politeness use are complex,[9] since there is a clear association between politeness norms and the stereotypical speech of middle class white women, at least in the UK and US. It is therefore unsurprising that women tend to be associated with politeness more and their linguistic behavior judged in relation to these politeness norms.
Besides and additionally to the above, many languages have specific means to show politeness, deference, respect, or a recognition of thesocial status of the speaker and the hearer. There are two main ways in which a given language shows politeness: in itslexicon (for example, employing certain words in formal occasions, and colloquial forms in informal contexts), and in itsmorphology (for example, using special verb forms for polite discourse). TheT–V distinction is a common example in Western languages, while some Asian languages extend this toavoiding pronouns entirely. Some languages have complex politeness systems, such asKorean speech levels andhonorific speech in Japanese.
Japanese is perhaps the most widely known example of a language that encodes politeness at its core. Japanese has two main levels of politeness, one for intimate acquaintances, family, and friends, and one for other groups, and verb morphology reflects these levels. Besides that, some verbs have special hyper-politesuppletive forms. This happens also with some nouns and interrogative pronouns. Japanese also employs different personal pronouns for each person according to gender, age, rank, degree of acquaintance, and other cultural factors.
Brown and Levinson's theory of politeness has been criticised as not being universally valid, by linguists working withEast-Asian languages, including Japanese. Matsumoto[10] and Ide[11] claim that Brown and Levinson assume the speaker's volitional use of language, which allows the speaker's creative use offace-maintaining strategies toward the addressee. In East Asian cultures like Japan, politeness is achieved not so much on the basis of volition as on discernment (wakimae, finding one's place), or prescribedsocial norms.Wakimae is oriented towards the need for acknowledgment of the positions or roles of all the participants as well as adherence to formality norms appropriate to the particular situation.
