Stephen Colbert (played byStephen Colbert) – Described as a "well-intentioned, poorly informed high-status idiot,"[1] the show's host is a blustery, self-obsessedright-wing commentator with a strong distaste for facts. He incorporates aspects of the real Colbert's life and interests, but is modelled primarily as aparody of cable newspundits, particularlyBill O'Reilly.[2]
The Bullet – Thebullet point produces the words that appear on the right side of the screen during the show's "The Wørd" segment. It frequently provides comedic asides and counterpoints to what Colbert is saying, occasionally even contradicting or arguing with him. As the real Colbert explains it, often "the bullet points end up being their own character. Sometimes they're reinforcing my argument, sometimes they'recountermanding my argument. It's a textual addition of jokes or satire to the verbal essay I'm doing at the moment."[3]
Jimmy (played byPeter Gwinn) – The show's director, who shared his name with real-lifeColbert Report director Jim Hoskinson, he was often heard but rarely seen on the show, though Colbert frequently addressed him to ask for video or graphics to be brought up on the screen. He was also a huge fan of the bandRush, to the point of replacing the video of Colbert with a shot ofNeil Peart'sdrum kit on the episode in which Rush appeared as guests.
Wilford Brimley (played byStephen Colbert) – Colbert's "Spiritual Advisor" with whom he occasionally had phone conversations. These conversations usually took place in the middle of the night, with Colbert only half-awake, and end up with Brimley (voiced by Colbert) going off on angry tangents that he usually blames on "The Diabeetus".
Ching Chong Ding Dong (played byStephen Colbert) – Colbert's stereotypical Asian impression, who "roves" tea. Colbert (the character) defended himself against criticism for the character by stating that as Ching Chong Ding Dong was merely a fictional character, he was not a racist and he could not be held responsible for what Ding Dong says, a jab at the relationship between Colbert the character and Colbert the actor.
Esteban Colberto (played byStephen Colbert) – ACuban themed version of Colbert who was actually a self-described Mexican.[4] He hosts the Colberto Reporto Gigante and was usually flanked by two dancingchicas. He appeared in numerousimmigration-themed segments.
Killer (uncredited) – A roadie for Colbert. Due to his constant scowl, threatening stare, and probablecriminal history, he was the only staff member that Colbert was afraid to abuse. He also has been described by Colbert as a "Demolitions Expert".
Meg (played byMeg DeFrancesco) – A female intern on Colbert's staff, she frequently endured sexual harassment and suggestive remarks from him and in a 2008 appearance mentions that she has filed more than five complaints against him.[5]
The Professor (uncredited) – A homeless man who was mentioned as Colbert's "protégé" from time to time. This mention was usually accompanied by a picture of 'The Professor' howling madly.
Sweetness – Colbert'spistol, "life partner," and the "co-host" of "Trigger Happy", a segment which dealt with gun-related issues. Colbert claimed that he can hear Sweetness talking to him and would often converse with "her" by holding the gun up to his deaf ear and then relaying what "she" has supposedly said. Sweetness made a final appearance as the weapon that killed Grimmy with Colbert tossing it away into the possession of a fan.[6] Resembles aColt Detective Special, Third Issue.
Tad (played byPaul Dinello) – The building manager at Colbert's studio. He hosted several special segments, such as a fire drill, a visit to a bank auction forRandy "Duke" Cunningham's assets and a trip toColbert County,Alabama, to open The Stephen Colbert Museum and Gift Shop.[7][8] It is implied that Colbert and Tad maintain a secret relationship, even almost getting married on the show.[9][10][11][12] The relationship mirrors that of Colbert and Dinello's characters onStrangers with Candy.
Gorlock (uncredited) – A luminous green alien in a business suit who only appeared in stills. Gorlock was Colbert's financial adviser, although he did not fill the role particularly well, failing to warn Colbert of impending financial crises despite beingfrom the future. Colbert claimed Gorlock was recommended to him byTom Cruise, and made his portfolio "thetan-free".[13] Gorlock has an associate called "Hal", a reference toArthur C. Clarke's fictional computer characterHAL 9000.
Homer (played byKumail Nanjiani) – A Greek man mistaken by Colbert for an Arab terrorist called "Omar" and imprisoned in a cell beneath Colbert's desk. He returned to the Report as a member of the staff.
Barry the Starbucks guy (played byBarry Julien) – AStarbucksbarista employed at the Starbucks under Stephen Colbert's desk, who appears in Starbucks related segments.
An Audience Member (played byTom Purcell) – An audience member that Stephen often shot in the knee either on purpose or accidentally.
Tek Jansen – an animated Science Fiction character.
Charlene – A woman whom Colbert stalked since the 1980s. Although she never physically appeared on the show, she was the subject of two songs Colbert wrote.
Jay the Intern (played byJay Katsir) – A young man Stephen occasionally mock abused in stories relating tointernships and college students.
Hans Beinholtz (played byErik Frandsen) – Theexistentialist fictionalUN ambassador from Germany. He was portrayed as replying to Colbert's questions and statements with deeply philosophical (and often aggressively depressing) remarks.
Randy Ferrar – A fictional Huffington Post writer.
James – An Asian intern whose name Colbert mispronounced as "Jah-mes"
Grimmy – Colbert's travel agent who appeared in the opening of the "Cheating Death" segments and becoming more recurring as the series came to its end. Though intended to be the guest of the final episode, Grimmy accidentally got killed off by Colbert during a last "Cheating Death" segment.
The recurring character 'Ham Rove'
Alan (played byJordan Carlos) – Colbert's former token black friend, he was demoted to "black acquaintance" after Colbert saw him march in ananti-war demonstration.[16]
Bobby (played byEric Drysdale) – Astage manager, played byColbert Report writer Eric Drysdale. He frequently was called upon to do degrading things or to answer questions from Colbert and was responsible for keeping track of the whereabouts of Colbert's "son", Stephen Jr.[17] On the April 21, 2008 show, following Drysdale's departure from the writing staff, it was insinuated that Colbert had eaten Bobby during a commercial break. Bobby's ghost made an appearance on December 11, 2008, where he was again cannibalized by Colbert. On 28 October 2009, Bobby reappeared (in living form) as part of a joke abouttime travel and theHiggs boson.
Russ Lieber (played byDavid Cross) – A satirical liberal radio talk show host fromMadison,Wisconsin, and the nemesis of Colbert. He is ultra-sensitive to political correctness, and often worries that his own words might be misconstrued as offensive. Colbert frequently encountered him during the early days of the show. Lieber has appeared several times on the show to debate. He appears to be a satirical take onAl Franken.[18]
Gulpy –AnanthropomorphicGulpzilla soda that Colbert kept as a pet to drink. Gulpy would normally try to kill him, but Colbert later said that they had gone totherapy and were all better. WhenMichael Bloomberg banned all drinks larger than 16 oz. in New York City, Colbert "killed" Gulpy.
Ham Rove – A raw canned ham with glasses that stood in for Republican strategistKarl Rove in various discussions of statements Rove had made or topics likeSuper PAC's which Rove was related to. After the 2012 election, fearing reprisal for not wielding enough influence with hisColbert Super PAC, Colbert stabbed and killed Ham Rove. Colbert Super PAC'swebsite featured a memorial to Ham Rove, including his list of ingredients.
