Graysexuality,gray asexuality, orgray-sexuality (also spelledgrey) is a sexuality within theasexual spectrum. It is often defined as limited amounts of sexual attraction that can vary in intensity.[1][2][3][4] Individuals who identify with gray asexuality are referred to as beinggray-A orgray ace, and are within what is referred to as the "asexualumbrella".[5][6] Within the asexualspectrum are terms such asdemisexual, graysexual,asexual, and many other types of non-allosexual identities.[7]
Gray asexuality is considered the gray area betweenasexuality andallosexuality, in which a person may experience sexual attraction in variety of "unconventional" ways.[1][2]
The termgray-A covers a range of identities under the asexuality umbrella, or on the asexual spectrum, including demisexuality.[9] Other terms within this spectrum includesemisexual,asexual-ish andsexual-ish.[7] The gray-A spectrum includes individuals who very rarely experience sexual attraction, experience it at a low intensity, or feel it only under specific circumstances. The definition of gray-asexuality is intentionally vague, allowing for a variety of experiences that do not fit completely under the allosexual or asexual identities.[2][10] Sari Locker, a sexuality educator atTeachers College of Columbia University, argued during aMic interview that gray-asexuals "feel they are within the gray area between asexuality and more typical sexual interest".[11] A gray-A-identifying individual may have anyromantic orientation, because sexual and romantic identities are not necessarily linked.[5][7]
A gray-asexual may engage in sex with someone they have a strong connection to, but their relationship is not based on sex, nor do they crave sex.[5][12] This can also be known as gray areas, which can be combined with different orientations, such as:[13]
Simplified A-spec diagram
Agraysexual alloromantic person: rarely sexually attracted to others.
Anasexual grayromantic person: not sexually attracted to anyone, but does experience being romantically attracted to others on rare occasions.
Agray-pansexual aromantic person: rarely attracted to people sexually of all genders, but never romantically attracted to anyone.
Agynesexual gray-biromantic person: usually sexually attracted to women or feminine-presenting people; rarely experiences romantic attraction towards more than one gender.
Aspec is a term which can be used to mean that one is on the asexual spectrum or aromantic spectrum.[14][15]
Ademisexual person does not experience sexual attraction until they have formed a strong emotional connection with a prospective partner.[2][8] The definition of "emotional bond" varies from person to person in as much as the elements of thesplit attraction model can vary.[19][20] Demisexuals can have any romantic orientation.[21][22] People in the asexual spectrum communities often switch labels throughout their lives, and fluidity in orientation and identity is a common attitude.[5]
Demisexuality, as a component of the asexuality spectrum, is included in queer activist communities such asGLAAD andThe Trevor Project, and itself has finer divisions.[23][24]
Demisexuality is a common theme (ortrope) in romantic novels that has been termed 'compulsory demisexuality'.[25] Within fictitious prose, the paradigm of sex being only truly pleasurable when the partners are in love is a trait stereotypically more commonly associated with female characters. The intimacy of the connection also allows for an exclusivity to take place.[22][26]
Post-doctorate research on the subject has been done since at least 2013, andpodcasts andsocial media have also raised public awareness of the sexual orientation.[27] Some public figures, such asMichaela Kennedy-Cuomo, who have come out as demisexual have also raised awareness, though they typically face some degree of ridicule for their sexuality.[28] The word gained entry to theOxford English Dictionary in March 2022, with its earliest usage (as a noun) dating to 2006.[29]
Fictosexuality refers to the sexual attraction towards fictional characters, encompassing those who lack attraction to real individuals and fall within the spectrum of gray asexuality.[30][31] These individuals can be found within online asexual communities.[30][31] In recent times, certain fictosexuals have actively participated in queer activism.[citation needed]
Fraysexuality (also less commonly known as ignotasexual[32]) is the type of gray asexuality[33] where people almost only aresexually attracted topeople they don't know[34][35][36] or people who they are not attached to.[37][38][39] Attraction can disappear if anemotional connection develops.[40][41] In a way, fraysexuality is conditioned almost exclusively to unknown people, even feeling immediate attraction to them.[42][43][44] It is often described as the polar opposite ofdemisexuality.[45][46][47]
The attribution of the term fray as sexuality is credited toTumblr useredensmachine, an account that has been deactivated, and has existed since at least 2014.[48] The term fraysexual is probably aneologism fromfray,[49] which means fighting, which could represent the lack or breaking ofaffective bonds in people fighting.[50][51]
The graysexual pride flag, in which the gradations of gray represent intermediate sexuality[52]
The demisexual flag, in which the blackchevron represents asexuality, gray represents gray asexuality and demisexuality, white represents sexuality, and purple represents community.[53]
Online communities, such as theAsexual Visibility and Education Network (AVEN), as well as blogging websites such asTumblr, have provided ways for gray-As to find acceptance in their communities.[8][10] While gray-As are noted to have variety in the experiences of sexual attraction, individuals in the community share their identification within the spectrum.[54]
In society, there is a lack of understanding of who asexuals are. They often limit their interactions to an online platform. Asexuals have also found it safer to communicate through the use of symbols and slang. Asexuals are often referred to as aces. People are often under the misconception that asexuals hate sex or never have sex. For them, sex is not a focal point. This is where the termgray-asexual comes in.[12][5]
A black, gray, white, and purple flag is commonly used to display pride in the asexual community. The gray bar represents the area of gray sexuality within the community,[12] and the flag is also used by those who identify as gray-asexual:[55][better source needed]
Theblack stripe represents asexuality as a whole.
Thegray stripe is for asexuals who fall anywhere within the asexual spectrum, including gray-asexual and demi-sexual identities.
Thewhite stripe represents allies of asexuality, including the non-asexual partners of some asexual people.
A 2019 survey by The Ace Community Survey reported that 10.9% asexuals identified as gray-sexual and 9% identified as demisexual,[56] though asexuality in general is relatively new to academic research and public discourse.[8]
^"Asexual".Archived from the original on April 6, 2021. RetrievedJuly 22, 2020.
^McAlister, Jodi. "First Love, Last Love, True Love: Heroines, Heroes, and the Gendered Representation of Love in the Category Romance Novel." Gender & Love, 3rd Global Conference. Mansfield College, Oxford, UK. Vol. 15. 2013
^McAlister, Jodi (September 1, 2014). "'That complete fusion of spirit as well as body': Heroines, heroes, desire and compulsory demisexuality in the Harlequin Mills & Boon romance novel".Australasian Journal of Popular Culture.3 (3):299–310.doi:10.1386/ajpc.3.3.299_1.
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