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Acuckold is thehusband of anadulterouswife; the wife of an adulterous husband is acuckquean. Inbiology, a cuckold is a male who unwittingly investsparental effort in juveniles who are not genetically his offspring.[1] A husband who is aware of and tolerates his wife'sinfidelity is sometimes called awittol orwittold.[2] The slang termbull refers to the dominant man who has relations with the cuckold's partner.
The wordcuckold derives from thecuckoo bird, alluding to itsbrood parasitism, or tendency to lay its eggs in the nests of other birds.[3][4] The association is common in medievalfolklore, literature, andiconography.
English usage first appears about 1250 in themedieval debate poemThe Owl and the Nightingale. It was characterized as an overtly blunt term inJohn Lydgate'sThe Fall of Princes,c. 1440.[5]William Shakespeare's writing often referred to cuckolds, with several of his characters suspecting they had become one.[4]
The word often implies that the husband is deceived; that he is unaware of his wife's unfaithfulness and may not know until the arrival or growth of achild plainly not his (as with cuckoo birds).[4]
The female equivalentcuckquean first appears in English literature in 1562,[6][7] adding afeminine suffix to thecuck.
A related word, first appearing in 1520, iswittol, which substituteswit (in the sense of knowing) for the first part of the word, referring to a man aware of and reconciled to his wife's infidelity.[8]
Scientific evidence is that cuckoldry has been a fairly rare phenomenon. Studies of genetic genealogistMaarten Larmuseau show that in Western society only 1–2% of births come from unfaithful mothers.[9][10]
In Western traditions, cuckolds have sometimes been described as "wearing the horns of a cuckold" or just "wearing the horns". This is an allusion to themating habits of stags, who forfeit their mates when they are defeated by another male.[11]
InItaly (especially inSouthern Italy, where it is a major personal offence), the insult "cornuto" is often accompanied by thesign of the horns. InFrench, the term is "porter des cornes". In German, the term is "jemandem Hörner aufsetzen", or "Hörner tragen", the husband is "der gehörnte Ehemann".
In Brazil and Portugal, the term used is "corno", meaning exactly "horned". The term is quite offensive, especially for men, andcornos are a common subject of jokes and anecdotes.
Rabelais'sTiers Livers ofGargantua and Pantagruel (1546) portrays a horned fool as a cuckold.[12] InMolière'sL'École des femmes (1662), a man named Arnolphe (see below) who mocks cuckolds with the image of the horned buck (becque cornu) becomes one at the end.
InChinese usage, the cuckold (or wittol) is said to be "戴綠帽子"dài lǜmàozi, translated into English as 'wearing the green hat'. The term is an allusion to thesumptuary laws used from the 13th to the 18th centuries that required males in households with prostitutes to wrap their heads in a green scarf (or later a hat).[13]
A saint Arnoul(t), Arnolphe, or Ernoul, possiblyArnold of Soissons, is often cited as thepatron saint of cuckolded husbands, hence the name of Molière's character Arnolphe.[14][15]
The Greek heroActaeon is often associated with cuckoldry, as when he is turned into a stag, he becomes "horned".[16] This is alluded to in Shakespeare'sThe Merry Wives of Windsor,Robert Burton'sThe Anatomy of Melancholy, and others.[17]
In Islamic cultures, the related termdayouth (Arabic:دَيُّوث) can be used to describe a person who is viewed as apathetic or permissive with regard tounchaste behaviour by female relatives or a spouse, or who lacks the demeanor (ghayrah) of paternalistic protectiveness.[18][19] Variations on the spelling includedayyuth, dayuuth, ordayoos.[20] The term has been criticised for its use as apejorative while also suggestive of acceptance of vainpaternalistic gender roles, stigmatization ofsexuality or overprotectiveintrusive sexual gatekeeping.[21]
Unlike the traditional definition of the term, infetish usage, a cuckold (also known as "cuckolding fetish")[22][23] is complicit in their partner's sexual "infidelity"; the wife who enjoys "cuckolding" her husband is called a "cuckoldress."[24][25][26][27] The dominant man engaging with the cuckold's partner is called a "bull."[25][28]
If a couple can keep the fantasy in the bedroom, or come to an agreement where being cuckolded in reality does not damage the relationship, they may try it out in reality. This, like other sexual acts, can improve the sexual relationship between partners.[29] However, the primary proponent of the fantasy is almost always the one being humiliated, or the "cuckold": the cuckold convinces his lover to participate in the fantasy for them, though other "cuckolds" may prefer their lover to initiate the situation instead. The fetish fantasy does not work at all if the cuckold is being humiliated against their will.[30]
Psychology regards cuckold fetishism as a variant ofmasochism, with the cuckold deriving pleasure from being humiliated.[31][32] In his bookMasochism and the Self, psychologistRoy Baumeister advanced aSelf Theory analysis that cuckolding (or specifically, all masochism) was a form of escaping from self-awareness, at times when self-awareness becomes burdensome, such as with perceived inadequacy. According to this theory, the physical or mental pain from masochism brings attention away from the self, which would be desirable in times of "guilt, anxiety, or insecurity", or at other times when self-awareness is unpleasant.[33]
{{citation}}: CS1 maint: work parameter with ISBN (link)Cuckolding can also be mixed with other non-monogamous relationship arrangements with which it has substantial overlap such as swinging, open relationships, and polyamory. Again, it is distinguished from these concepts in that cuckold's thrill in their partner's acts is specifically masochistic
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