.jpg) A demonstrator (left) with a polyamorous pride flag inMalmö, Sweden, August 2017 | |
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Polyamory (from Ancient Greek πολύς (polús) 'many' and Latin amor 'love') is the practice of, or the desire for,romantic relationships with more than one partner at the same time, with the informed consent of all partners involved. Some people who identify as polyamorous believe inconsensual non-monogamy with a conscious management ofjealousy and reject the view that sexual and relational exclusivity (monogamy) are prerequisite for deep, committed, long-term, loving relationships.[1] Others prefer to restrict their sexual activity to only members of the group, a closed polyamorous relationship that is usually referred to aspolyfidelity.[2][3]
Polyamory has come to be anumbrella term for various forms of non-monogamous, multi-partner relationships, or non-exclusive sexual or romantic relationships.[4][5][6] Its usage reflects the choices andphilosophies of the individuals involved, but with recurring themes orvalues, such as love, intimacy,honesty,integrity,equality,communication, andcommitment.[7][8] It can often be distinguished from some other forms ofethical non-monogamy in that the relationships involved are loving intimate relationships, as opposed to purely sexual relationships.[9]
The termpolyamory was coined in 1990 and officially defined by 1999. It is not typically considered part of theLGBTQ umbrella. Courts and cities inCanada and theU.S. are increasingly recognizing polyamorous families, granting legal parentage to multiple adults and extending protections to multi-partner relationships. While still uncommon, about 4% of people practice polyamory, and up to 17% are open to it. While mainstreamChristianity,Islam andJudaism generally reject polyamory, some religious groups, including theOneida Community, certainrabbis and Jewish communities,LaVeyan Satanists, andUnitarian Universalists, have accepted or supported polyamorous relationships. Inclinical settings, therapists are encouraged to recognize diverse relationship structures such as polyamory, address biases toward monogamy, and utilize specialized resources to support polyamorous clients.
From the 1970s onward, polyamory has been depicted in various media, includingIsaac Asimov’s works,DC Comics’Starfire,The Wheel of Time series,Futurama, and numerous 21st-century television shows and novels. Polyamory-related observances includeMetamour Day on February 28, Polyamory Pride Day during Pride Month, International Solo Polyamory Day on September 24, and Polyamory Day on November 23, with polyamory groups often participating in pride parades. Worldwide nonprofits likeLoving More and others advocate for polyamory rights, acceptance, and education. Critics argue that polyamory is not inherently radical, often reflects privilege, and may have negative social impacts. Notable individuals publicly identifying as polyamorous include authorsDossie Easton,Janet Hardy, andLaurell K. Hamilton; filmmakerTerisa Greenan; activistBrenda Howard; and musicianWillow Smith.
The wordpolyamorous first appeared in an article byMorning Glory Zell-Ravenheart, "A Bouquet of Lovers", published in May 1990 inGreen Egg Magazine, as "poly-amorous".[10] In May 1992, Jennifer L. Wesp created theUsenetnewsgroupalt.polyamory, and theOxford English Dictionary (OED) cites the proposal to create that group as the first verified appearance of the word.[10] In 1999, Zell-Ravenheart was asked by the editor of the OED to provide a definition of the term, and she provided it for the UK version as "the practice, state or ability of having more than one sexual loving relationship at the same time, with the full knowledge andconsent of all partners involved."[11] The wordspolyamory,polyamorous, andpolyamorist were added to the OED in 2006.[12]
Some reference works definepolyamory as a relational form (whetherinterpersonal orromantic orsexual) that involves multiple people with the consent of all the people involved, likeOxford Living Dictionaries,Cambridge Advanced Learner's Dictionary andThesaurus, andDictionary.com.[13][14][15][16] Some criticized theMerriam-Webster definition of polyamory, which defines the term as "the state or practice of having more than one open romantic relationship at a time,"[17] as missing a "vital component": consent.[18]
The wordpolyamory combines the Greek word for "many" (poly) and the Latin word for "love" (amor).[19] Polyamory is not generally included in theLGBTumbrella because it is not a sexuality or a gender identity.[20]
Consensual non-monogamy, which polyamory falls under,[21] can take many different forms, depending on the needs and preferences of the individual(s) involved in any specific relationship(s). As of 2019, over one-fifth of single Americans have, at some point in their lives, engaged in some sort of consensual non-monogamy.[22]
Separate from polyamory as a philosophical basis for relationships are the practical ways in which people who live polyamorously arrange their lives and handle specific issues compared to those of a more conventional monogamous arrangement.[1] People of differentsexual orientations are a part of the community and form networks of relationships with the consent and agreement of their partners.[23][24][25] Many things differentiate polyamory from other types of non-monogamous relationships. It is common forswinging andopen couples to maintain emotional monogamy while engaging in extra-dyadic sexual relations.[26]
The friend or partner boundary in monogamous relationships and other forms of non-monogamy is typically fairly clear. Unlike other forms of non-monogamy, though, "polyamory is notable for privileging emotional intimacy with others."[9] Benefits of a polyamorous relationship might include:[27] the ability of individuals to discuss issues with multiple partners, potentially mediating and thus stabilizing a relationship, and reducing polarization of viewpoints, and emotional support and structure from other committed adults within the familial unit. Other benefits include a wider range of adult experience, skills, resources, and perspective and support for companionate marriages, which can be satisfying even if no longer sexually vital since romantic needs are met elsewhere. This acts to preserve existing relationships.[28]
TheKinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction estimated that there were half a million "openly polyamorous families" in the United States in July 2009.[29][30] Additionally, 15–28% of heterosexual couples and about half of gay and bisexual people have a "non-traditional" arrangement of some kind as reported inThe Guardian in August 2013.[31] Polyamorous communities have been said to be outwardlyfeminist as women were central to the creation of such communities andgender equality is a central tenet.[29] For those who are polyamorous,social distancing, as a result of theCOVID-19 pandemic, created ripples in existing relationships, leading some to split apart and others to struggle to maintain their connections with one another.[32][33][34]
A large percentage of polyamorists definefidelity not as sexual exclusivity, but as faithfulness to the promises and agreements made about a relationship.[35][36][37] As a relational practice, polyamory sustains a vast variety of open relationship or multi-partner constellations, which can differ in definition and grades of intensity, closeness and commitment.[38] Specifically, polyamory can take the forms of atriad[a] of three people in an intimate relationship, a poly family of more than three people, one person as the pivot point of a relationship (a "vee"), a couple in a two-person relationship which portrays other relationships on their own, and various other intimate networks of individuals.[24][29][39] There are also those who are swingers and engage in polyamory or engage in poly-dating.[39] A poly family is sometimes calledkitchen table polyamory,[40] a style of polyamory in which all members of a particularpolycule are comfortable and connected enough with each other that it is not uncommon for them to literally gather around the kitchen table, as they may spend holidays, birthdays, or other important times together as a large group. This style emphasizes family-style connections, and not all members are necessarily sexually or romantically involved with every other person in the group.[41][42]
Other styles of polyamory includeparallel polyamory, where members of individual relationships prefer not to meet or know details of their partners' other relationships,[41][42]solo polyamory defines non-monogamous individuals who do not want a primary partner[43] and may resist the "relationship escalator" (an idea that relationships must follow a progression, or "escalator" from dating, to being exclusive, to becoming engaged, getting married, and having children).[44][45] For some, polyamory functions as an umbrella term for the multiple approaches of 'responsible non-monogamy'.[38] A secret sexual relationship that violates those accords would be seen as a breach of fidelity. Polyamorists generally base definitions ofcommitment on considerations other than sexual exclusivity, e.g., "trust and honesty" or "growing old together".[46] In an article inMen's Health, Zachary Zane states that commitment in a polyamorous relationship means that "you will be there for that person", supporting them, taking care of them, and loving them.[47]
Because there is no "standard model" for polyamorous relationships, and reliance upon common expectations may not be realistic, polyamorists advocate explicitly negotiating with all involved to establish the terms of their relationships and often emphasize that this should be an ongoing process of honest communication and respect. Polyamorists typically take a pragmatic approach to their relationships; many accept that sometimes they and their partners will make mistakes and fail to live up to these ideals and that communication is important for repairing any breaches.[48][49] They also argue that polyamory is a response to challenges of relationships of a monogamous nature.[29]
Polyamory has been defined as loving more than one person at once, with respect, trust, and honesty for all partners involved.[48][49][50] Ideally, a partner's partners are accepted as part of that person's life rather than merely tolerated, and usually a relationship that requires deception or a "don't-ask-don't-tell" policy is seen as a less than ideal model.Out additionally described polyamory as "not a sexuality" but as actually "having multiple intimate relationships".[51]
Some polyamorists view excessive restrictions on other deep relationships as less than desirable, as such restrictions can be used to replace trust with a framework of ownership and control. It is usually preferred or encouraged that a polyamorist strive to view their partners' other significant others, often referred to asmetamours or OSOs,[52] in terms of the gain to their partners' lives rather than a threat to their own (compersion). Therefore, jealousy and possessiveness are generally viewed not so much as something to avoid or structure the relationships around but as responses that should be explored, understood, and resolved within each individual, with compersion as a goal.[53] This is related to one of the types of polyamory, which is non-hierarchical, where "no one relationship is prioritized above the rest"[24] and the fact that polyamorists insist on working through problems in their relationships "through open communication, patience, and honesty."[29]
Compersion is a term coined by members of the polyamorous community to describe anempathetic state of happiness and joy experienced when another individual experiences happiness and joy.[54][55][56] In the context of polyamorous relationships, it describes positive feelings experienced by an individual when their intimate partner is enjoying another relationship.[50][57][58] It has been variously described as "the opposite or flip side of jealousy",[59] analogous to the "joy parents feel when their children get married",[60] and a "positive emotional reaction to a lover's other relationship".[42] The term is traced to theKerista Commune inSan Francisco.[58][61][62]
Morin (1999) and Fleckenstein (2014) noted that certain conditions are favorable to good experiences with polyamory but that these differ from the general population.[63][64] Heavy public promotion of polyamory can have the unintended effect of attracting people to it for whom it is not well-suited. Unequal power dynamics, such as financial dependence, can also inappropriately influence a person to agree to a polyamorous relationship against their true desires. Even in more equal power-dynamic relationships, the reluctant partner may feel coerced into a proposed non-monogamous arrangement due to the implication that if they refuse, the proposer will pursue other partners anyway, will break off the relationship, or that the one refusing will be accused of intolerance and not being open-minded.[65]
Polyamorous relationships present practical pitfalls. One common complaint from participants is time management, as more partners mean one must divide one's time and attention between them, leaving less for each.[66] Related is that the complexity of the arrangement can lead to so much effort being spent on the relationship that personal, individual needs can be overlooked.[9] The strong emphasis on communication can unintentionally marginalize partners who are less articulate.[9] Finally, negotiating the sometimes complex rules and boundaries of these relationships can be emotionally taxing, as can reconciling situations where one partner goes outside those boundaries.[9][66]
The scientific studies of psychological well-being and relationship satisfaction for participants in polyamory have been limited due to mostly being a "hidden population." While some results could be interpreted as positive, these findings often suffer from bias and methodological issues.[67] A significant number of studies rely onsmall samples, often recruited from referrals,snowball-sampling, and websites devoted to polyamory.[67] Individuals recruited in this manner tend to be relatively homogeneous regarding values, beliefs, and demographics, which limits the generalizability of the findings. These samples also tend to beself-selecting toward individuals with positive experiences. In contrast, those who found polyamory to be distressing or hurtful might be more reluctant to participate in the research.[67] Most of the studies rely entirely onself-report measures. Generally, self-reports of the degree of well-being and relationship satisfaction over time are flawed and are often based on belief rather than actual experience.[67] Self-report measures are also at risk ofself-enhancement bias, as subjects may feel pressure to give positive responses about their well-being and relationship satisfaction in the face ofstereotype threat.[67]
In June 2018, a court inNewfoundland and Labrador recognized three unmarried adults as legal parents of a child who was born within the polyamorous family they had formed; this was believed to be a first for Canadian law. The three adults included the child's mother and two men; the child's biological father was unknown.[68]
In April 2021, a British Columbia Supreme Court justice declared a woman was the third legal parent in a polyamorous "triad".[69]
In April 2025, theSuperior Court of Quebec ruled that the province must recognize families with more than two parents. The court gave the provincial government one year to amend theCivil Code, and listed court rulings in five provinces and territories as precedent.[70]
In 1998, aTennessee court granted guardianship of a child to her grandmother and step-grandfather, after the child's mother April Divilbiss and partnersouted themselves as polyamorous onMTV. After contesting the decision for two years, Divilbiss eventually agreed to relinquish her daughter, acknowledging that she was unable to adequately care for her child and that this, rather than her polyamory, had been the grandparents' real motivation in seeking custody.[71]
In 2013, California passed SB 274 (Family Code §7612(c)), legalizing state courts' recognition of more than two parents if the court finds that recognizing only two parents would be detrimental to the child.[72][73] In 2017, three men became the first family in the state ofCalifornia to have names of three fathers on their child's birth certificate under the law.[74]
In November 2020, the issue of polyamory came to theSupreme Court of Vermont in the form of a dispute between two men and a woman in a polyamorous relationship.[75]
In 2016, writerRebecca Ruth Gould called fornon-monogamy, including polyamory, to receive "the legal recognition it deserves", saying that polyamory remains a "negative identity".[76]
In June 2020, the city council ofSomerville, Massachusetts, voted to recognize polyamorous domestic partnerships in the city, becoming the first American city to do so. This measure was passed so that those in a polyamorous relationship would have access to their partners' health insurance amid theCOVID-19 pandemic.[77][78][79][80]
In March 2021, theCambridge, Massachusetts City Council approved an ordinance amending the city's laws, stipulating that "a domestic partnership needn't only include two partners."[81][82][83] The measure was supported by the Polyamory Legal Advocacy Coalition, also known as PLAC, composed of the Chosen Family Law Center, Harvard Law School LGBTQ+ Advocacy Clinic, and some members on theAmerican Psychological Association's Committee on Consensual Non-Monogamy. This ordinance was originally proposed in July 2020.[84][85] In April 2021, the adjacent town ofArlington, Massachusetts, approved domestic partnerships of more than two people through a motion at Town Meeting. Any motion approved at Arlington's Town Meeting is subject to review and approval from the state Attorney General's office;[86] by early January 2022 that office (the office ofMaura Healey) approved it.[87]
People in polyamorous relationships sometimes receive punishment at work when they are open about their relationships.[88]
In 2010, Ann Tweedy, a legal scholar, argued that polyamory could be considered a sexual orientation under existingUnited States law.[89] This argument was opposed by Christian Keese, who wrote in 2016 that advocating a "sexual orientation model of polyamory is likely to reduce the complexity and transformative potential of poly intimacies," while also limiting the reach and scope of possible litigation, obstructing the ability of poly activists to form alliances with other groups, and increasing the possibility that poly activists will have to settle for legal solutions which are "exclusive and reproductive of a culture of privilege".[90]
In March 2023, the city ofSomerville, Massachusetts passed an ordinance prohibiting discrimination against polyamorous people in employment and policing.[88]
In April 2024,Oakland City Council passed legislation banning discrimination based on family and relationship structure in businesses, civil services, and housing.[91]
In May 2024,Berkeley, California passed a law banning discrimination on the basis of relationship and family structure in businesses, city services, and housing.[92]
Mostwestern countries do not recognizepolygamous marriages, and considerbigamy a crime. Several countries also prohibit people from living a polygamous lifestyle. This is the case in some states of the United States wherethe criminalization of a polygamous lifestyle originated asanti-Mormon laws, although they are rarely enforced.[93] Having multiple non-marital partners, even if married to one, is legal in most U.S. jurisdictions; at most it constitutes grounds fordivorce if the spouse is non-consenting, or feels that the interest in a further partner has destabilized the marriage. In some jurisdictions, likeNorth Carolina, a spouse can sue a third party for causing "loss of affection" in or "criminal conversation" (adultery) with their spouse,[94] while more than twenty states in the US have laws against adultery, although they are infrequently enforced; the Supreme Court's ruling inLawrence v. Texas did not explicitly hold such laws to be unconstitutional but itsreasoning may imply that conclusion.[95]
Polyamory, however, is on a continuum of family-bonds that includes group marriage[96] and it does not refer tobigamy as long as no claim to being married in formal legal terms is made.[97][98]The Social History of the American Family: An Encyclopedia (2014, edited by Marilyn J. Coleman and Lawrence H. Ganong) stated that under existing U.S. federal law, a polyamorous relationship is legal in all 50 states while polygamy is not.[99] On November 23, 2011, the Supreme Court of British Columbia ruled that the anti-polygamy law of Canada does not affect unformalized polyamorous households; this is why Polyamory Day is celebrated every year on November 23.[100] Even so, those in polyamorous relationships often face legal challenges when it comes to custody, morality clauses, adultery and bigamy laws, housing, and where they live.[101]
In 2012, legal scholar Deborah Anapol called for the revision of existing U.S. laws against bigamy to permit married persons to enter into additional marriages, provided that they have first given legal notice to their existing marital partner or partners, with a "dyadic networks" model.[102] In 2015, another legal scholar, Ronald C. Den Otter, wrote in theEmory Law Journal (in the article "Three May Not Be a Crowd: The Case for a Constitutional Right to Plural Marriage") that in the United States the constitutional rights ofdue process andequal protection fully support marriage rights for polyamorous families.[103]
During aPinkNews question-and-answer session in May 2015, Redfern Jon Barrett questionedNatalie Bennett, leader of theGreen Party of England and Wales, about her party's stance toward polyamorous marriage rights. Bennett responded by saying that her party is "open" to discussion on the idea of civil partnership or marriages between three people.[104] Bennett's announcement aroused media controversy on the topic and led to major international news outlets covering her answer.[105][106] A follow-up article written by Barrett was published by PinkNews on May 4, 2015, further exploring the topic.[107] In most countries, it is legal for three or more people to form and share a sexual relationship (subject sometimes to laws againsthomosexuality oradultery if two of the three are married). With only minor exceptions no developed countries permitmarriage among more than two people, nor do the majority of countries give legal protection (e.g., of rights relating to children) to non-married partners. Individuals involved in polyamorous relationships are generally considered by the law to be no different from people who live together, or "date", under other circumstances. In 2017, John Alejandro Rodriguez, Victor Hugo Prada, and Manuel Jose Bermudez becameColombia's first polyamorous family to have a legally recognized relationship,[108] though not a marriage, as by Colombian law, marriage is between two people, so they instead called it a "special patrimonial union".[109][110] Some have called fordomestic partnership laws to be expanded to include polyamorous couples[111] and have said that marriage-like entitlements should apply to such couples.[112]
Research into the prevalence of polyamory has been limited. A comprehensive government study of sexual attitudes, behaviors, and relationships inFinland in 1992 (age 18–75, around 50% female and male) found that around 200 out of 2250 (8.9%) respondents "agreed or strongly agreed" with the statement "I could maintain several sexual relationships at the same time" and 8.2% indicated a relationship type "that best suits" at the present stage of life would involve multiple partners. By contrast, when asked about other relationships simultaneously as a steady relationship, around 17% stated they had had other partners while in a steady relationship (50% no, 17% yes, 33% refused to answer).[113]
The articleWhat Psychology Professionals Should Know About Polyamory (by Geri Weitzman), based on a paper presented at the 8th Annual Diversity Conference in March 1999 inAlbany, New York, states that while openly polyamorous relationships are relatively rare, there are "indications that private polyamorous arrangements within relationships are actually quite common."[114] They also note, citing 1983 study of 3,574 married couples in their sample that "15–28% had an understanding that allows nonmonogamy under some circumstances," with percentages are higher among "cohabitating couples (28%), lesbian couples (29%) and gay male couples (65%)." According to Jessica Fern, a psychologist and the author ofPolysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy, as of September 2020, about 4% of Americans, nearly 16 million people, are "practising anon-monogamous style of relationship".[115] A study by Amy C. Moors, Amanda N. Gesselman and Justin R. Garcia published on 23 March 2021 and using a sample of 3,438 individuals has shown that 10.7% of the sample were engaged in a polyamorous relationship at some point in their life, and 16.8% reported a desire to try or be in one. The study also revealed a correlation between educational background and polyamory, showing that lesser-educated male individuals were more likely to engage in or have been involved in polyamorous relationships. These findings indicate that the number of Americans who have engaged in polyamorous relationships is significantly higher than previously thought.[116]
TheOneida Community in the 1800s in New York (a Christian religious commune) believed strongly in a system offree love known as acomplex marriage,[117] where any member was free to have sex with any other who consented.[118] In 1993, the archives of the community were made available to scholars for the first time. Contained within the archives was the journal of Tirzah Miller,[119] Noyes' niece, who wrote extensively about her romantic and sexual relations with other members of Oneida.[120]
Some Christians are polyamorous, although mainstream Christianitydoes not accept polyamory.[121] In 2017, theCouncil on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood, an evangelical Christian organization, released a manifesto on human sexuality known as the "Nashville Statement". The statement was signed by 150 evangelical leaders and included 14 points of belief.[122] Among other things, it states, "We deny that God has designed marriage to be a homosexual, polygamous, or polyamorous relationship."[123]
Some Jews are polyamorous, although mainstream Judaism does not accept polyamory. Nikki DeBlosi is an openly polyamorous rabbi; she was ordained by theHebrew Union College – Jewish Institute of Religion.[124][125] Also, in 2000, Rabbi Jacob Levin came out as polyamorous to his synagogue's board in California without losing his job as rabbi.[126] As well, in his bookA Guide to Jewish Practice: Volume 1 – Everyday Living (2011), Rabbi David Teutsch wrote, "It is not obvious that monogamy is automatically a morally higher form of relationship than polygamy," and that if practiced with honesty, flexibility, egalitarian rules, and trust, practitioners may "live enriched lives as a result".[127] In 2013,Sharon Kleinbaum, the senior rabbi atCongregation Beit Simchat Torah in New York, said that polyamory is a choice that does not preclude a Jewishly observant and socially conscious life.[128] Some polyamorous Jews point to biblical patriarchs having multiple wives and concubines as evidence that polyamorous relationships can be sacred in Judaism.[129] An email list is dedicated to polyamorous Jews; it is calledAhavaRaba, which roughly translates to "big love" in Hebrew,[130] and which echoes God's "great" or "abounding" love mentioned in theAhava rabbah prayer.[131]
LaVeyan Satanism is critical of Abrahamic sexual mores, considering them narrow, restrictive, and hypocritical. Satanists are pluralists, accepting polyamorists, bisexuals, lesbians, gays,BDSM, transgender people, andasexuals. Sex is viewed as an indulgence, but one that should only be freely entered into with consent.The Eleven Satanic Rules of the Earth only give two instructions regarding sex: "Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal" and "Do not harm little children", though the latter is much broader and encompasses physical and other abuse. This has been a consistent part of CoS policy since its inception in 1966. Magister Peter H. Gillmore wrote in an essay supportingsame-sex marriage that some people try to suggest that their attitude on sexuality is "anything goes" even though they have a principle of "responsibility to the responsible".[132]
Unitarian Universalists for Polyamory Awareness, founded in 2001, has engaged in ongoing education and advocacy for greater understanding and acceptance of polyamory within theUnitarian Universalist Association.[133] At the 2014General Assembly, two UUPA members moved to include the category of "family and relationship structures" in the UUA's nondiscrimination rule, along with other amendments; the GA delegates ratified the package of proposed amendments.[134]
In 2018, the Association ofHumanistic Rabbis issued "A Statement on Sexual Ethics for the 21st Century", which states in part, "We commit to the freedom and empowerment of all adults to full consensual sexual expression, be it monogamous or polyamorous."[135]
In 2002, a paper titledWorking with polyamorous clients in the clinical setting (by Joy Davidson) addressed various areas of inquiry. This included the importance of talking about alternatives to monogamy, how therapists can work with those who are exploring polyamory, basic understandings of polyamory, and key issues that therapists need to watch for in the course of working with polyamorous clients. It concluded that "Sweeping changes are occurring in the sexual and relational landscape" (including "dissatisfaction with limitations of serial monogamy, i.e. exchanging one partner for another in the hope of a better outcome"); that clinicians need to start by "recognizing the array of possibilities that 'polyamory' encompasses" and "examine our culturally-based assumption that 'only monogamy is acceptable'" and how this bias impacts on the practice of therapy; the need for self-education about polyamory, basic understandings about the "rewards of the poly lifestyle" and the common social and relationship challenges faced by those involved, and the "shadow side" of polyamory, the potential existing for coercion, strong emotions in opposition, and jealousy. The paper also states that the configurations a therapist would be "most likely to see in practice" are individuals involved in primary-plus arrangements, monogamous couples wishing to explore non-monogamy for the first time, and "poly singles".[39]
In 2002, the rights of polyamorous people were added to the mission of theNational Coalition for Sexual Freedom, an Americansex-positive advocacy and educational organization;[136] a manual for psychotherapists who deal with polyamorous clients was published by them in September 2009, calledWhat Psychotherapists Should Know About Polyamory (written by Geri Weitzman and others).[137][138]
TheNational Coalition for Sexual Freedom manages the Kink And Poly Aware Professionals Directory, which consists of an Internet directory of psychotherapeutic, medical, and other professionals who have volunteered to be contacted by people who are involved in polyamory (and/orBDSM, etc.).[139][140][141]
The Polyamory-Friendly Professionals Directory is a directory on the Internet "of professionals who are sensitive to the unique needs of polyamorous clientele"; it includes psychologists, therapists, medical professionals, and other professionals.[142]
The Gods Themselves is a 1972 novel byIsaac Asimov, a third of which is devoted to describing an alien race in an alien dimension where romantic relationships are usually composed ofthree individuals and where conception, and orgasm, is only possible during sexual intercourse between all three partners at the same time (i.e., a threesome).[143]
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Starfire, also known as Princess Koriand'r, is a fictionalsuperhero appearing in books published byDC Comics, who debuted in apreview story inserted withinDC Comics Presents #26 (October 1980) and was created byMarv Wolfman andGeorge Pérez;[144] she was shown to be a polyamorous character. Starfire was raised on the world of Tamaran where it was acceptable to have anopen marriage. Some critics argue that after arriving on Earth, she remained sex-positive and free-thinking, remaining open topolygamous relationships, open sex, andpansexual "free-love" with anyone, often leading to conflict with Earth's more reserved culture and customs.[145][146] For Starfire, polyamory was a personal and cultural preference.[145]
In 1989, the anime seriesRanma ½ included a polyamorous character, Tatewaki, who is in love with both Akane and the "Pigtail Girl" (Ranma's female form) and proposes to date both, but they do not return his feelings.[147]
Robert Jordan's fantasy book seriesThe Wheel of Time, which began its run in 1990, is notable for its inclusion of various polyamorous relationships throughout the narrative. This includes the protagonistRand al’Thor, who enters a romantic relationship with three women,Min,Aviendha andElayne. The Aiel culture in the series also practice polyamory commonly.[148] The books also hinted at a relationship betweenAlanna and her (male) warders Ihvon and Maksim, but it was not explored in detail until the2021 television adaptation.[149]
In 2002, theFuturama episode "A Taste of Freedom" showed Old Man Waterfall, who is Zoidberg's defense attorney until killed by a giant crab warship, having seven wives and one husband.[150] While Waterfall's case for Zoidberg is unsuccessful, the Supreme Court holds polygamy as legal, though this leads to jeers from spectators. The made-for-TVFuturama film,The Beast with a Billion Backs (published 2008), featured two polyamorous characters: Colleen O'Hallahan and Yivo. Colleen had five boyfriends, Fry, Chu, Ndulu, Schlomo and Bolt Rolands,[151][b] while Yivo is a planet-sized alien with no determinable gender, dating, then marrying all people of the universe at once.[152] Fry and Colleen eventually break up. Afterwards, Yivo remains in a relationship with Colleen.[153]
The 21st century brought various new forms of representation of polyamory. In 2007, Daniel Help Justice's bookDreyd featured Tarsa, a priestess, warrior, and bisexual woman, as part of a polyamorous love triad.[154] In 2009,Graham Nicholls founded www.polyamory.org.uk, the United Kingdom's first website about polyamory[155] and the Mom of Pina in Maria Pallotta-Chiarolli's novel,Love You Two was shown to be polyamorous and bisexual, leading Pina on a journey to explore the "complex spectrum of sex and love" in humanity itself.[154] In 2010, the seriesLost Girl began. It includedBo Dennis, a bisexualsuccubus which must sustain herself by feeding from thelife force of male and female Fae and humans, via oral intake or the energy created through sex. In the first two seasons she was involved romantically with Dyson (a heterosexualshapeshifter) and Lauren (alesbian human). Later on, Bo tried to have amonogamous relationship with Lauren, with Bo and Lauren remaining in love with each other through ups and downs, and later accepting each other as a couple by the end of the series.[156][157]
Polyamorous characters appeared in various media in the 2010s. In the 2010 television showCaprica, several main characters are portrayed as being in apolyfidelitous-style marriage consisting of multiple men and women, with each member being equal socially and legally.[158] From 2012 to 2013, the Americanreality television series on the Americanpay televisionnetworkShowtime,Polyamory: Married & Dating, was broadcast. It followed polyamorous families as they navigated the challenges presented by polyamory.[159][160][161] Around the same time, the webcomicKimchi Cuddles began, which portrayed polyamorous people like other characters, "only with more partners to steal their blankets."[162] The following years featured a polyamorous captain in Jacqueline Koyanagi's novel,Ascension,[154] and three characters (Reese, David, and Amber) in a relationship inMalinda Lo's novel,Inheritance.[154] In 2011,American Horror Story: Hotel began, with Countess Elizabeth Johnson, played byLady Gaga, beginning a relationship with famed film actorRudolph Valentino and his wife,Natacha Rambova, as seen in episode seven.[163] The following year, the YouTube showThe Gay and Wondrous Life of Caleb Gallo would show a couple working through their decision to convert from monogamy to polyamory,[164] like Brian Jordan Alvarez, who considers himself polyamorous.[165]
From 2015 to 2017, in the webcomicAlways Human by Ari North, the parents of Sunati (Nisa and Prav) were shown to be in a polyamorous relationship with a man named Vish, who Nisa calls "our boyfriend".[166] In another webcomic,Unknown Lands, which began in 2015, Vard is shown to be polyamorous,[167] along with most of the cast having a queer sexual identity. The webcomic itself has environmental, feminist, and LGBTQ+ themes.[168] A few years later, the 2017 filmProfessor Marston and the Wonder Women focuses on the real-life polyamorous relationship between the professor, psychologistWilliam Moulton Marston (the creator ofWonder Woman), his wife and research partnerElizabeth Holloway Marston, and their student,Olive Byrne, as they share a "workplace, a bed, a home and eventually a family."[169] Furthermore, fiction writerCassandra Clare stated that Mark Blackthorn inThe Dark Artifices book series would "definitely be open to a polyamorous relationship",[170] but would not cheat or lie, while noting that another such relationship between other characters would not be possible.[171] Eventually, he ends up in a polyamorous triangle, with a girlfriend and a boyfriend who are dating each other. Additionally, writerK. Ancrum confirmed that polyamorous characters were in two of her books (The Wicker King andThe Weight of the Stars), but did not name any specific characters.[172] At the same time, Em, best friend of the protagonist in two books by Leigh Matthews (Don't Bang the Barista andGo Deep) is a bisexual woman dating a man in the first book, but by the second book she has "happily settled into a poly triad", wondering how she will get married.[154]
On May 29, 2017, in the last season ofSteven Universe, Fluorite, a member of theOff Colors, a fusion of six different gems into one being, with fusion as the physical manifestation of a relationship, was introduced. This character reappeared in various episodes in the show's fifth season ("Lars Head", "Lars of the Stars", "Your Mother and Mine"), the season 5 finale, "Change Your Mind", along with one inSteven Universe Future ("Little Graduation") and inSteven Universe: The Movie,[173] with the latter two as non-speaking appearances. The series creator,Rebecca Sugar, confirmed that Fluorite is a representation of a polyamorous relationship at the show'sComic Con panel inSan Diego.[174][175] Sugar said at the panel, and at another conference, that she was inspired after talking with children at an LGBTQ+ center inLong Beach, California, who wanted a polyamorous character in the show.[174][176][175]Steven Universe was not alone in this regard. Thefourth season ofBoJack Horseman, amature animated series, featured a character named Hollyhock, the sister of the protagonist, who has eight adoptive fathers[c] in a polyamorous gay relationship.[177] The same year,Unicornland premiered, with eight-episode web series focusing on Annie's exploration into polyamory after her divorce.[178]
Polyamory was the subject of the 2018Louis Theroux documentaryLove Without Limits, where Theroux travels toPortland,Oregon, to meet a number of people engaged in polyamorous relationships.[179] Also in 2018,195 Lewis, a web series about ablack lesbian couple dealing with their relationship being newly polyamorous,[180] received the Breakthrough Series – Short Form award from theGotham Awards.[181] The series premiered in 2017 and ran for five episodes.[182] The same year, the comicOpen Earth premiered. The comic is set in the future and monogamous relationships are seen as outdated to all the young people on board the space station, all of whom are polyamorous. AuthorSarah Mirk said that she wanted to write a story where "open relationships can be really positive and wonderful" and said that it is realistic to believe that people would "explore multiple relationships".[183]
Trigonometry is an eight-partBBC TV drama series which started on March 15, 2020, and is about an existing couple being joined by a third person and forming a polyamorous relationship. The BBC said thatTrigonometry is "A love story about three people who are made for each other."[184][185] In July 2021, Australian soap operaNeighbours explored polyamory with three of its main characters. ActressJacinta Stapleton was proud to be involved in the story arc, stating: "I think we should always try to reflect real intimate relationships in our society. Polyamory certainly is a part of that. The more we represent the beautifully diverse nature and uniqueness of humans, the more people will feel accepted and seen."[186]
Metamour Day is celebrated every year on February 28. It celebrates the relationships people have with their metamours (partners' other significant others, often referred to as metamours or OSOs.[52])[187]
Polyamory Pride Day is celebrated every year on a day inPride Month.[100]
Polyamory groups sometimes participate inpride parades.[188][189]
International Solo Polyamory Day is celebrated every year on September 24.[100]
Polyamory Day is celebrated every year on November 23; that day was chosen because on November 23, 2011, the Supreme Court of British Columbia ruled that the anti-polygamy law of Canada does not affect unformalized polyamorous households.[100]
The Canadian Polyamory Advocacy Association (CPAA) was founded in 2009. It "advocates on behalf of Canadians who practice polyamory. It [also] promotes legal, social, government, and institutional acceptance and support of polyamory, and advances the interests of the Canadian polyamorous community generally."[190][191]
Loving More was an American non-profit organization formed to support and advocate on behalf of polyamorous people. Founded in 1985, Loving More claimed to be the oldest and longest-running polyamory organization; Loving More became inactive in March 2024.[192]
The Organization for Polyamory and Ethical Non-monogamy (OPEN) was founded in the United States in 2022 as "a nonprofit organization dedicated to normalizing and empowering non-monogamous individuals and communities."[193][194]
The Polyamory Action Lobby (PAL) was founded in 2013 in Australia to fight cultural misconceptions about polyamorous people and to fight for their legal rights.[195]
The Polyamory Legal Advocacy Coalition (PLAC), based in the United States, "seeks to advance the civil and human rights of polyamorous individuals, communities, and families through legislative advocacy, public policy, and public education."[196][197]
TheUK Polyamory Association (UKPA) was founded by Giulia Smith.[198] Its mission statement is, “The UK Polyamory Association exists to support the needs of polyamorous people and communities across the UK. We aim to increase public awareness and acceptance of polyamory, and challenge stigma through advocacy, positive representation, and education.”[199][200]
Unitarian Universalists for Polyamory Awareness (UUPA) was founded in 2001. It "has as its mission to serve the Unitarian Universalist Association and the community of polyamorous people within and outside the UUA by providing support, promoting education, and encouraging spiritual wholeness regarding polyamory."[133]
Yasmin Nair, a co-founder ofAgainst Equality, has criticized polyamory. She has stated that polyamorists are not inherentlyradical,[201] and said that the discourse around polyamory is unengaging and not liberating, onlyfetishizing a "peculiar form of monogamy...and long-term relationships".[202] In a 2013 article inThe Guardian,Julie Bindel described polyamory a "co-opting and rebranding of polygamy". She argued that contemporary proponents of polyamory often overlooked gender dynamics and characterized it as a choice predominantly made by "overwhelmingly white, affluent, university-educated, and privileged folk".[203] TheconservativeNational Review claimed that "widespread acceptance of polyamory could make society worse off" with supposed false notions ofhonesty.[204]Conor Friedersdorf, writing inThe Atlantic in 2015, expressed his opposition to polyamorouscivil marriages.[205]
Polyamory describes a form of relationship where it is possible, valid and worthwhile to maintain (usually long-term) intimate and sexual relationships with multiple partners simultaneously.
Regression analyses suggest that the factors which predict better health and happiness differ between the general population and those who participate in consensually non-exclusive sexual relationships
The final reason given by those in the 'Willing' group was that their engagement in CNM would be a sacrifice for their partner or for their relationship. This group of participants indicated that despite their own lack of desire to engage in CNM, they would be willing to try CNM for their partner or their relationship.
Rabbi Jacob Levin, 62, is an exception. When he came out to his synagogue's board seven years ago, his disclosure was met with a mix of confusion and dismay.
Fry decides to move in with Colleen [despite]...after making the horrifying discovery that he is merely one of the five boyfriends she shares her apartment with.
The first act parallels the rip in space with the introduction of Fry's new girlfriend, Colleen (voiced by Brittany Murphy), whom Fry soon discovers has four **other** boyfriends. This serves as a thematic lead-in to the plot that tackles notions of polygamous love head-on...It's in the third act, where humanity moves in with Yeevo, that the film really becomes something special...after being exposed as a randy bachelor, Yevo confesses: "Granted, at first I wished only to bang out a cheap one with your universe. But it's your own fault. Your universe dresses provocatively.""
...while it's neat for Fry's relationship to Colleen to eventually end with Yivo deciding Colleen, with her group relationships, is the only person to really understand him, that doesn't make Colleen into a better written character, and it doesn't make Fry's romantic struggles more interesting in their own right.
Dubbed by fans as the "throuple scene," this unusual sort of tit for tat homoerotic and polyamorous sexuality encapsulates the dynamic humor and sexual fluidity between characters on the show.
I never want to be monogamous and I'm always falling into this super lovey-dovey kind of love with guys, and then they think that it's implied monogamy when in fact, the texture of my love is monogamous, but my mental and sexual desires are polyamorous.
{{cite web}}: CS1 maint: bot: original URL status unknown (link)The adopted daughter of eight polyamorous fathers, she [Hollyhock] informs him [Bojack] right off the bat that she's not looking for a ninth dad in BoJack—who, thanks to the results of a Todd-facilitated DNA test, she believes to be her biological father.
{{cite web}}: CS1 maint: multiple names: authors list (link)variations on Pi-and-the-three-colors the ILIC symbol ... The symbol that started this category, Jim Evans' Poly Pride Flag. He has put this image in the public domain ... "ILIC" stands for Infinite Love in Infinite Combinations (a reference to Star Trek's IDIC credo --- the D in the Star Trek version stands for "Diversity").
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A good love affair, when you're inside it, feels like it could change the world. But changing the world takes more than spreading the love; you have to spread the wealth, too. Maybe that's just utopian, hippie nonsense. But what can I say? I'm a romantic.Earlier online version:Wilson, Jennifer (December 25, 2023)."How Did Polyamory Become So Popular?".The New Yorker.ISSN 2163-3827. RetrievedDecember 29, 2024.
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