A man fathers a fool to his own grief;This phrase highlights the deep sorrow and disappointment a parent experiences when their child acts foolishly. In biblical terms, a "fool" is not merely someone lacking intelligence but someone who rejects wisdom and moral instruction, often leading to sinful behavior. The grief mentioned here is profound, as it reflects the cultural and familial expectations of the time, where children were seen as a continuation of the family legacy and a source of honor. The book of Proverbs frequently contrasts wisdom and folly, emphasizing the importance of raising children in the fear and knowledge of the Lord (
Proverbs 22:6). The grief is not just personal but also social, as a foolish child could bring shame upon the family within the community.
the father of a fool has no joy.
This part of the verse underscores the absence of joy in the life of a parent whose child chooses the path of folly. In ancient Israelite society, children were expected to honor their parents and uphold family values, as seen in the commandment to honor one's father and mother (Exodus 20:12). A foolish child disrupts this expectation, leading to a lack of joy and fulfillment for the parent. The absence of joy is not only emotional but also spiritual, as the parent's hopes for their child's righteous living and contribution to the community are dashed. This sentiment is echoed in other scriptures, such asProverbs 10:1, which states, "A wise son brings joy to his father, but a foolish son grief to his mother." The contrast between wisdom and folly is a recurring theme, pointing to the ultimate fulfillment of wisdom in Jesus Christ, who embodies perfect obedience and brings joy to the Father.
Persons / Places / Events
1.
The FatherRepresents a parent or guardian who has invested time, love, and resources into raising a child.
2.
The FoolIn the context of Proverbs, a fool is someone who rejects wisdom and understanding, often leading to moral and spiritual failure.
3.
The Family UnitThe broader context of family dynamics and the impact of individual behavior on family harmony and reputation.
Teaching Points
The Importance of Wisdom in ParentingParents are called to instill wisdom and godly values in their children to prevent the grief associated with foolishness.
The Consequences of FoolishnessFoolish behavior not only affects the individual but also brings sorrow to their family, highlighting the communal impact of personal choices.
The Role of Discipline and GuidanceConsistent, loving discipline and guidance are crucial in steering children away from foolishness and towards wisdom.
Seeking God’s WisdomParents should seek God’s wisdom in prayer and scripture to guide their children effectively.
Hope and RedemptionEven if a child strays, there is hope for redemption and restoration through God’s grace, as seen in the account of the Prodigal Son.
Bible Study Questions and Answers
1.What is the meaning of Proverbs 17:21?
2.How does Proverbs 17:21 highlight the consequences of raising a foolish child?
3.What steps can parents take to avoid the grief mentioned in Proverbs 17:21?
4.How does Proverbs 17:21 connect with Ephesians 6:4 on parenting?
5.In what ways can Proverbs 17:21 guide Christian parenting practices today?
6.How can the church support parents in preventing the grief of Proverbs 17:21?
7.What does Proverbs 17:21 reveal about parental responsibility and consequences?
8.How does Proverbs 17:21 reflect on the nature of wisdom and foolishness?
9.What historical context influenced the writing of Proverbs 17:21?
10.What are the top 10 Lessons from Proverbs 17?
11.What are the Bible's teachings on feelings?
12.Should we repay evil with evil? (Proverbs 24:29 vs. Romans 12:17)
13.Proverbs 26:11: Does comparing a fool to a dog returning to its vomit present a historical or cultural context that might clash with more compassionate teachings elsewhere?
14.Deuteronomy 21:15-17: How does the inheritance rule for a hated wife's son reconcile with other biblical teachings on fairness and favoritism?What Does Proverbs 17:21 Mean
“A man fathers a fool”• God designed parenthood to be a blessing (Psalm 127:3–5), yet Proverbs reminds us that sin can distort that gift.
• The verse states the situation plainly, not hypothetically: some children choose folly. Throughout Proverbs a “fool” is one who rejects God’s wisdom (Proverbs 1:7).
• Fathering a fool does not automatically indict the parent’s faithfulness; children possess personal responsibility (Ezekiel 18:20). Still, parents are called to diligent instruction—“Train up a child in the way he should go” (Proverbs 22:6).
“to his own grief”• The father’s heartache is pictured as inevitable when a child persists in rebellion.Proverbs 17:25 says, “A foolish son brings grief to his father and bitterness to her who bore him”.
• Grief here reaches beyond disappointment:
– Emotional anguish—Proverbs 10:1 contrasts the joy of a wise son with the sorrow of a foolish one.
– Spiritual burden—a child’s folly signals distance from God, echoing 3John 4, “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.”
• The verse warns fathers that ignoring a child’s spiritual course will eventually wound them deeply.
“the father of a fool”• Proverbs repeats the description to drive home identity: the father is now publicly associated with folly (Proverbs 19:13).
• In ancient Israel, family reputation affected livelihood, marriage prospects, even community standing (cf.Deuteronomy 21:18-21).
• Modern parallels remain: a child’s persistent rebellion can strain marriages, divide siblings, and diminish a family’s witness for Christ (Ephesians 6:4 urges fathers to guide children “in the discipline and instruction of the Lord”).
“has no joy”• The absence of joy is total—no partial satisfaction can compensate when a child rejects wisdom.Proverbs 23:24-25 shows the opposite: “The father of a righteous man will greatly rejoice…may your father and mother be glad”.
• Joylessness flows from:
– Constant worry about the child’s welfare and eternity (Luke 15:24 shows the father’s joy only when the prodigal repents).
– The erosion of shared values; fellowship between parent and child shrivels when one loves Christ and the other mocks Him (Psalm 1).
• Yet Scripture also leaves room for hope: God can restore wayward sons and daughters, turning mourning into dancing (Jeremiah 31:16-17).
summaryProverbs 17:21 presents a sober, literal truth: when a child chooses folly, the father who once anticipated delight now reaps grief and joylessness. The verse warns parents to invest early, intentionally, and prayerfully in a child’s spiritual formation while acknowledging that each person ultimately answers to God. It also urges children to recognize that their embrace of wisdom or folly profoundly affects those who love them most.
(21)
He that begetteth a fool(
khesil)
.--See above, on
Proverbs 1:32.
The father of a fool(n?bh?l).--See above, onProverbs 17:7.
Verse 21. -
He that begetteth a fool doeth it to his sorrow (comp. ver. 25). The words for "fool" in the two clauses are different. Here it is
kesil, which implies bold, self-confident folly, the worst form of the vies; in the second hemistich it is
nabal, which rather denotes dulness and stupidity, a want of mental power. A conceited, offensive fool causes infinite trouble to his father, both from his need of constant correction, and the watchfulness required to repair the consequences of his foolish actions. There is also the grief at seeing instruction and warning thrown away on a worthless object. Septuagint, "The heart of a fool is a pain to him who possesseth it."
The father of a fool hath no joy. The contrast in the case of a good son is seen in
Proverbs 15:20 and Proverbs 23:24. The LXX. adds a clause from
Proverbs 10:1, with the view of improving the parallelism, "But a prudent son rejoiceth his mother."
Parallel Commentaries ...
Hebrew
A man fathersיֹלֵ֣ד(yō·lêḏ)Verb - Qal - Participle - masculine singular
Strong's 3205:To bear young, to beget, medically, to act as midwife, to show lineagea foolכְּ֭סִיל(kə·sîl)Noun - masculine singular
Strong's 3684:Stupid fellow, dullard, foolto his own grief;לְת֣וּגָה(lə·ṯū·ḡāh)Preposition-l | Noun - feminine singular
Strong's 8424:Depression, a griefthe fatherאֲבִ֣י(’ă·ḇî)Noun - masculine singular construct
Strong's 1:Fatherof a foolנָבָֽל׃(nā·ḇāl)Adjective - masculine singular
Strong's 5036:Foolish, senselesshas noוְלֹֽא־(wə·lō-)Conjunctive waw | Adverb - Negative particle
Strong's 3808:Not, nojoy.יִ֝שְׂמַ֗ח(yiś·maḥ)Verb - Qal - Imperfect - third person masculine singular
Strong's 8055:To brighten up, be, blithe, gleesome
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OT Poetry: Proverbs 17:21 He who becomes the father (Prov. Pro Pr) 
