Honor your father and motherThis commandment is the fifth in the Decalogue, emphasizing the importance of family structure and respect within the household. In ancient Israelite society, the family was the fundamental unit of social and religious life. Honoring parents was seen as a reflection of honoring God, as parents were considered representatives of God's authority. This commandment is reiterated in the New Testament, notably in
Ephesians 6:2-3, where Paul emphasizes its significance as the first commandment with a promise. The concept of honor here involves respect, obedience, and care, especially as parents age.
so that your days may be long
This phrase introduces a promise of longevity and well-being as a reward for obedience. In the cultural context of the ancient Near East, long life was often associated with divine favor and blessing. The promise of extended life is not merely about individual lifespan but also about the enduring stability and prosperity of the community. This reflects a covenantal relationship where obedience to God's commandments results in tangible blessings.
in the land
The land referred to here is the Promised Land, Canaan, which God pledged to the descendants of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. The land holds significant theological importance as it represents God's faithfulness and the fulfillment of His promises. The Israelites' possession and retention of the land were contingent upon their obedience to God's laws, as seen throughout the books of Deuteronomy and Joshua.
that the LORD your God is giving you
This phrase underscores the divine initiative and grace in the gift of the land. It is not earned by the Israelites' merit but given by God's sovereign will. The use of "LORD" (YHWH) highlights the covenantal relationship between God and Israel. The giving of the land is both a present reality and a future promise, pointing to the eschatological hope of a restored creation. This also typologically foreshadows the ultimate inheritance believers receive through Christ, as mentioned inHebrews 4, where the rest in the Promised Land is a type of the eternal rest found in Jesus.
Persons / Places / Events
1.
MosesThe prophet and leader of the Israelites who received the Ten Commandments from God on Mount Sinai.
2.
IsraelitesThe chosen people of God, who were delivered from slavery in Egypt and were journeying to the Promised Land.
3.
Mount SinaiThe mountain where God gave Moses the Ten Commandments, including the command to honor one's parents.
4.
God (Yahweh)The covenant-keeping God who delivered the Israelites and provided them with laws to live by.
5.
Promised LandThe land of Canaan, which God promised to the descendants of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.
Teaching Points
The Importance of HonorHonoring parents is foundational to a stable and godly society. It reflects our respect for God's ordained authority structures.
Promise of LongevityThe commandment comes with a promise of long life, indicating that honoring parents is not only a duty but also beneficial.
Cultural RelevanceIn a culture that often devalues parental authority, Christians are called to uphold this commandment as a testimony to God's design.
Spiritual ImplicationsHonoring parents is a reflection of our relationship with God. It teaches us submission, respect, and gratitude.
Practical HonorHonoring parents can be expressed through obedience, care, respect, and gratitude, regardless of their imperfections.
Bible Study Questions and Answers
1.What is the meaning of Exodus 20:12?
2.How does honoring parents in Exodus 20:12 impact family and societal stability?
3.What does "Honor your father and your mother" mean in practical terms today?
4.How does Ephesians 6:1-3 expand on Exodus 20:12's commandment?
5.How can honoring parents lead to "long life in the land" today?
6.What are ways to honor parents when relationships are strained or difficult?
7.How does Exodus 20:12 relate to the promise of long life in the land?
8.Why is honoring parents emphasized in Exodus 20:12 among the Ten Commandments?
9.Does Exodus 20:12 imply unconditional obedience to parents?
10.What are the top 10 Lessons from Exodus 20?
11.How to handle abusive behavior from adult children?
12.What does the Bible say about controlling parents?
13.What does the Bible say about disobedient children?
14.What does the Bible say about Christian nursing homes?What Does Exodus 20:12 Mean
Honor your father and mother• “Honor” goes beyond polite words; it means valuing parents with grateful hearts, practical care, and respectful obedience (seeEphesians 6:1-3, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ‘Honor your father and mother…’”).
• Scripture assumes parents will teach God’s ways (Deuteronomy 6:6-7), so honoring them keeps the faith ripple flowing from generation to generation (Proverbs 1:8-9).
• Honor is lifelong. Jesus models this by providing for Mary even from the cross (John 19:26-27).
• When parents fail, believers still show dignity and kindness (Proverbs 23:22), while obeying God first if commands conflict (Acts 5:29).
so that your days may be long• This is the first command paired with a promise (Ephesians 6:2-3). God ties respect for parents to personal well-being.
• Long life here speaks of both quantity and quality—peace, stability, and God’s favor (Psalm 91:16, “With long life I will satisfy him”).
• Dishonor short-circuits blessing; note how rebellion brought judgment on Eli’s sons (1 Samuel 2:25, 34).
• Conversely, the Rechabites, who obeyed their father’s instruction, received the pledge, “You will never fail to have a man to stand before Me” (Jeremiah 35:18-19).
in the land that the LORD your God is giving you• For Israel, the promise was linked to Canaan, the tangible stage for covenant life (Deuteronomy 11:8-9).
• A respectful family structure stabilizes an entire nation. When homes crumble, society follows (Malachi 4:6).
• New-covenant believers look ahead to the ultimate inheritance—“an enduring possession” (Hebrews 10:34)—yet the principle still echoes: strong, honoring families invite God’s blessing on communities and nations (Psalm 33:12).
• The land gift underscores grace; God supplies the setting, and our obedience keeps us dwelling securely in it (Psalm 37:9, 29).
summaryExodus 20:12 calls every generation to prize, protect, and practically support their parents. Doing so welcomes God’s promised favor, prolongs and enriches life, and preserves the covenant community in the place God lovingly provides.
(12)
Honour thy father and thy mother.--It is not a matter of much importance how we divide the commandments; nor is it historically certain how they were originally distributed between the two tables. But, practically, the view that the fifth commandment begins the second table, which lays down our duty towards our neighbours, is to be preferred for its convenience, though it trenches upon symmetrical arrangement. Of all our duties to our fellow-men, the first and most fundamental is our duty towards our parents, which lies at the root of all our social relations, and is the first of which we naturally become conscious. Honour, reverence, and obedience are due to parents from the position in which they stand to their children :--(1) As, in a certain sense, the authors of their being; (2) as their shelterers and nourishers; (3) as their protectors and educators, from whom they derive the foundation of their moral training and the first elements of their knowledge. Even among savages the obligations of children towards their parents are felt and acknowledged to a greater or a less extent; and there has never been a civilised community of whose moral code they have not formed an important part. In Egypt the duty of filial piety was strictly inculcated from a very early date (Lenormant,
Histoire Ancienne,vol. i., pp. 342, 343), and a bad son forfeited the prospect of happiness in another life (
ibid.,pp. 513, 514). Confucianism bases all morality upon the parental and filial relation, and requires the most complete subjection, even of the grown-up son, to his father and mother. Greek ethics taught that the relation of children to their parents was parallel to that of men to God (Aristot.
Eth. Nic.8:12, ? 5); and Rome made the absolute authority of the father the basis of its entire State system. The Divine legislation of Sinai is in full accord, here as elsewhere, with the voice of reason and conscience, affirming broadly the principles of parental authority and filial submission, but leaving the mode in which the principles should be carried out to the discretion of individuals or communities.
That thy days may be long upon the land.--The fifth commandment (as all allow) is "the first commandmentwith promise" (Ephesians 6:2); but the promise may be understood in two quite different senses. (1) It may be taken as guaranteeing national permanence to the people among whom filial respect and obedience is generally practised; or (2) it may be understood in the simpler and more literal sense of a pledge that obedient children shall, as a general rule, receive for their reward the blessing of long life. In favour of the former view have been urged the facts of Roman and Chinese permanence, together with the probability that Israel forfeited its possession of Canaan in consequence of persisting in the breach of this commandment. In favour of the latter may be adduced the application of the text by St. Paul (Ephesians 6:3), which is purely personal and not ethnic; and the exegesis of the Son of Sirach (Wisdom Of Solomon 3:6), which is similar. It is also worthy of note that an Egyptian sage, who wrote long before Moses, declared it as the result of his experience that obedient sons did attain to a good old age in Egypt, and laid down the principle broadly, that "the son who attends to the words of his father will grow old in consequence" (Lenormant,Histoire Ancienne,vol. i., p. 342).
Verse 12. -
Honor thy father and thy mother. The obligation of filial respect, love, and reverence is so instinctively' felt by all, that the duty has naturally found a place in every moral code. In the maxims of Ptah-hotep, an Egyptian author who lived probably before Abraham, "the duty of filial piety is strictly inculcated" (Birch,
Egypt from the Earliest Times, p. 49). Confucius, in China, based his moral system wholly upon the principle of parental authority; and in Rome it may be regarded as the main foundation of the political edifice. In the Decalogue, the position of this duty, at the head of our duties towards our neighbour, marks its importance; which is further shown by this being "the first commandment with promise" (
Ephesians 6:2). It is curious that the long life here specially attached to the observance of this obligation, was also believed to accompany it by the Egyptians. "The son," says Ptah-hotep, "who accepts the words of his father, will grow old in consequence of so doing;" and again - "The obedient son will be happy by reason of his obedience; he will grow old; he will come to favour." Modern commentators generally assume that the promise was not personal, but national - the nation's days were to be "long upon the land," if the citizens generally were obedient children. But this explanation cannot apply to
Ephesians 6:1-3. And if obedience to parents is to be rewarded with long life under the new covenant, there can be no reason why it should not have been so rewarded under the old. The objection that good sons are not always long-lived is futile. God governs the universe by general, not by universal laws.
Parallel Commentaries ...
Hebrew
Honorכַּבֵּ֥ד(kab·bêḏ)Verb - Piel - Imperative - masculine singular
Strong's 3513:To be heavy, weighty, or burdensomeyour fatherאָבִ֖יךָ(’ā·ḇî·ḵā)Noun - masculine singular construct | second person masculine singular
Strong's 1:Fatherand mother,אִמֶּ֑ךָ(’im·me·ḵā)Noun - feminine singular construct | second person masculine singular
Strong's 517:A mother, )so thatלְמַ֙עַן֙(lə·ma·‘an)Conjunction
Strong's 4616:Purpose -- intentyour daysיָמֶ֔יךָ(yā·me·ḵā)Noun - masculine plural construct | second person masculine singular
Strong's 3117:A daymay be longיַאֲרִכ֣וּן(ya·’ă·ri·ḵūn)Verb - Hifil - Imperfect - third person masculine plural | Paragogic nun
Strong's 748:To be, longinעַ֚ל(‘al)Preposition
Strong's 5921:Above, over, upon, againstthe landהָאֲדָמָ֔ה(hā·’ă·ḏā·māh)Article | Noun - feminine singular
Strong's 127:Ground, landthe LORDיְהוָ֥ה(Yah·weh)Noun - proper - masculine singular
Strong's 3068:LORD -- the proper name of the God of Israelyour Godאֱלֹהֶ֖יךָ(’ĕ·lō·he·ḵā)Noun - masculine plural construct | second person masculine singular
Strong's 430:gods -- the supreme God, magistrates, a superlativeis givingנֹתֵ֥ן(nō·ṯên)Verb - Qal - Participle - masculine singular
Strong's 5414:To give, put, setyou.לָֽךְ׃(lāḵ)Preposition | second person masculine singular
Strong's Hebrew
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OT Law: Exodus 20:12 Honor your father and your mother that (Exo. Ex) 
