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1 Timothy 3:12
Let the deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well.

Genesis 18:19
For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD, to do justice and judgment; that the LORD may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him.

Joshua 24:15
And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served thatwere on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.

with.

Philippians 4:8
Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever thingsare honest, whatsoever thingsare just, whatsoever thingsare pure, whatsoever thingsare lovely, whatsoever thingsare of good report; ifthere be any virtue, and ifthere be any praise, think on these things.

Titus 2:2,7
That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience…

and keep his children under control
The requirement for children to be under control highlights the importance of discipline and order within the family. In the Greco-Roman world, the family was the basic unit of society, and the father's role was to maintain order and discipline. This mirrors the biblical expectation found inProverbs 22:6, which advises training a child in the way they should go. The ability to maintain control over one's children was seen as evidence of a leader's capability to guide and instruct the church community effectively.

with complete dignity
This phrase underscores the manner in which an overseer should exercise authority—marked by dignity and respect. The concept of dignity is tied to the character and integrity of the leader, reflecting the fruit of the Spirit as described inGalatians 5:22-23. It suggests that leadership should not be authoritarian or harsh but should reflect the gentle and respectful nature of Christ, who is the ultimate example of dignified leadership. This aligns with the broader biblical teaching on servant leadership, as exemplified by Jesus in passages likeMark 10:42-45.

Paul addresses “An overseer,” the shepherd-leader who has been entrusted with the care of Christ’s flock (Acts 20:28;1 Peter 5:2). This role is not honorary but active and accountable, mirroring the wayHebrews 13:17 speaks of leaders who “will give an account.” The title signals responsibility: before thinking about public ministry, the overseer must first live out the gospel where it is most closely watched—at home.

“Manage” implies intentional, wise stewardship.

• Overseer leadership begins in the living room, not the pulpit (1 Timothy 3:5).

• “Well” points to consistent, observable order rather than perfection. LikeProverbs 24:3-4, a household built “by wisdom” displays peace, provision, and godly priorities.

• Management includes providing, guiding, and protecting, echoingEphesians 5:23 and 6:4, where fathers are charged to bring up children “in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” A man who neglects these basics cannot be trusted with eternal souls in the church.

The phrase stresses willing obedience, not forced domination.

•Titus 1:6 parallels this requirement, adding that children must be “believers and not open to the charge of wildness or rebellion.”

•Proverbs 29:17 reminds that corrected children “will give you peace.” Such peace is evidence that the gospel is bearing fruit in family life.

•Deuteronomy 6:6-7 describes the process: talk of God’s commands “when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road.” Continual, relational discipleship leads to children who respect both parents and God.

Dignity covers the manner, attitude, and atmosphere created by the overseer.

• Authority must be exercised graciously, reflectingPhilippians 4:8’s call to what is “noble.”

• A dignified leader avoids angry outbursts and humiliating corrections, aligning with2 Timothy 2:24, “The Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome.”

• This tone is required of deacons (1 Timothy 3:8) and their wives (v. 11), underscoring that godly respectability should mark every ministry level. When children see firmness wrapped in kindness, they learn that reverence and love walk together.

1 Timothy 3:4 lays down a simple test: before a man leads God’s house, he must first demonstrate faithful leadership in his own. His credibility flows from visible, day-to-day obedience to Christ at home—managing wisely, guiding children toward respectful submission, and carrying himself with steady dignity. A home that reflects gospel order assures the church that its overseer can shepherd the larger family of God with the same Christ-honoring care.

Having his children in subjection with all gravity.--The Greek word rendered "gravity" occurs in1Timothy 2:2, where it is translated in the authorised version, not very happily, by "honesty." The word employed in the original Greek denotes that decorum, that propriety of demeanour, which belongs especially to the pure and chaste, and seems to urge that a peculiar reverence and an especial decorum shall be aimed at in all relations with the young.Maximadebetur pueris reverentia. Thechild life in the families of these ministers of Christ's religion must, too, be an example to countless other homes.