"Here the story should really end, for, in real life, the forlorn old man would have little to look forward to but death. The author took pity on him and has provided a quite improbable epilogue."

Bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish
That's the way we do things lad, we're making shit up as we wish
The Klingons and the Romulans pose no threat to us
‍'‍Cause if we find we're in a bind,
We're totally screwed but never mind,
We'll pull something out of our behinds...
We just make some shit up

There'sPlot Convenience, there'sDeus Ex Machina, and then there's just pulling stuff right out of your ass!THAT... CAN'T... HAPPEN!!! You can't just go fillingplot holeswithbullshit!I've had acid flashbacks who had more narrative coherence than this!

"Akiha...? What do you mean by Nee-san?"
"I mean Nee-san. Now that I think about it, I had a twin older sister...!"
"You had an older sister... that's a bit of a sudden statement."
Even though this is a parody, this is too much. It's no fun if you don't lay down any groundwork or foreshadowing.
"I don't care about that...!"

We were invited to the island
All our friends were to be there
A party for the ages
Everyone without a care
But storm clouds came from nowhere...

"Who said The Espada went from 1 to 10? They actually go from 0 to 9!"

"A hawk summon, where did he get that?"

"Think about it! What you've done is utterly ridiculous! And that's saying something in a world where people can make water dragons using sign language!"

"Think of it this way:At least you didn't have to reach in and pull it out. Poor Andrew."

Fake Kidnapper: Come on, get in the trunk!
George: What about my ankle monitor?
Fake Kidnapper: We have anankle monitor deactivator!
George: Oh, good. See, I've been meaning to get one of those...