• Home
• Features
  • Reviews
  • Interviews
  • Delusions of Grimpeur
  • Two Cone Wrenches and a Megaphone
  • News or Not…?
  • Photography
  • Cartoons and Illustrations
• Opinion
  • Commentary
  • Veloclinic
  • View from the Peloton
  • Viewpoint
• Podcasts
  • Open Mic
  • Race Radio
• Videos
• Contact Us

Why the biopassport software didn’t flag Lance Armstrong

Another explainer from Doc@veloclinic showing in pretty simple terms why the UCI is full of shit when they say the biopassport program works.

 * * * * *

please note educational license was taken in over simplifying the limmits

so the expert experts kin jist simmer down uh bit

Armstrongs hgb plotted with biopassport limmits from 2 real live dopers

notice armstrongs values never cross the limmit from doper 1

armstrongs retic plotted with the limmits from 2 real live dopers

notice Armstrongs values don cross either dopers limmits

…

a software program that flags based on limmits

is

never

gunna

see

patterns

…

solution

hire sum fuggin interns to screen that shit

or

get sum med students

there very trainable

n

exempt from labor laws

hell

outsource it

to

some night hawk “readers” oversees

what ?

what’s good enough for

real world medicine

ain’t good enough

to catch a doper ?

c’mon thefuggonnow

* * * * *

veloclinic is the reincarnation of one of our favorite Twitter friends, @captaintbag1, whose tumblr blog posts were a kind of blank verse, Tecate-soaked haiku of truthiness that cut through the slick bullshit and to the very core of what is gloriously fucked up about the sport of cycling. Although the Cap may be gone (sort of), his Doctor tbag/Captain Hyde alter ego lives on, and we’re glad to share his pithy analysis here. Lest you think these are the idiot ramblings of a madman, we’d like you to know that the doc is a legitimate professional in the science of sports medicine, and a savant when it comes to doping analysis. You have been warned.

You Might Also Like

• Veloclinic

  La Vuelta – Stage 14 physiology analysis

• Veloclinic

  Introducing pVGRAD (yes, another performance meter)

• Veloclinic

  Veloclinic’s Intro to pVGRAD Performance Analysis

• Popular
• Comments
• Tags

A fresh take on cycling satire and commentary, Cyclismas is an alternative to traditional cycling news coverage; we challenge conventional cycling wisdom with a wide variety of voices, using a variety of media – all with integrity, but not without humor.