Infomercial Hell has fun with some of the most laughable infomercials ever broadcast. This site does not review products and neither endorses nor condemns any of the products sold on the infomercials.
Product:
ExtenZe
Title:
Sex Talk
Hosts:
Ron Jeremy, Kim Chambers
Expert:
Lawrence Ross, Scott Styles, Ruby, Chance Fortune
Price:
$59.95
Airdate Circa:
June 2002
Sponsor:
Maximizer Health Products
“There's just way too much time on people's hands.”
“ExtenZe: No gimmick. Just real science.”
“...that certain part of the male body”
“...that certain part of the male anatomy”
“...that special area of your body”
“You have nothing to lose and a lot to gain.”
“...that's what you see on some infomercial. 'You set it and forget it.'”
“There actually are no harmful side effects. Just a better, more satisfying love life.”
“As many as 60% of women reported they're not being fully satified by the size of their partner.”
“Do you like guys or is it just a business thing, a money thing?”
“Everybody's shaped differently.”
“Do it for you. Do it for your partner. Call now.”
“There aren't very many women or the adult film business at the Johnson Space Center.”
“Guys like you and I don't really need this stuff.”
“It's fun. I can be anybody, and I can play dress up.”
“They're interested in some of the strangest things.”
“You guys have got to be selling a boatload of ExtenZe.”
“I'm going to be sick.”
Ron trots out several of his colleagues from the world of adult video to help sellExtenZe (www.BuyExtenze.com), a pill intended to help men increase the size of “that certain part of the male anatomy.” They never actually outright name the part “down there.” The creators of this infomercial are apparently perfectly willing to use x-rated video performers, a stripper, and even an admitted prostitute to sell their productbut are too modest to use proper terminology for human anatomy.
The big idea behind this infomercial is that porn stars will be better and more exciting spokesmen for ExtenZe than actual experts. “Who better to talk about sexual things and other fun stuff than them,” Ron insists.
So, to vouch for the “science” behind ExtenZe, Ron interviews male porn star Scott Styles, who holds a Master’s degree in atomic and molecular physics. And who better than an atomic physicist to attest to claims of medical science. Styles is a former NASA scientist who says he left the space agency because of its lack of female porn stars. This is a well known cause of brain drain in the space program and the primary reason we haven’t yet put a man on Mars.
Ron’s guests also include Ruby, an adult film performer who also works at the Bunnyranch bordello, and an “exotic dancer” turned porn star who goes by thenom de guerre Chance Fortune (which I guess means that her middle name is Chance and she first lived on Fortune street. Or was her first pet named Fortune?).
This infomercial features no first hand testimonials (although one of the guests knows a woman who knows a guy who tried it). Ron simply asks the porn stars whether theythink men out there ought to buy ExtenZe. The atomic physicist literally shrugs his shoulders and says, “Sure.” When asked whether being “more endowed” matters to women, Chance Fortune replies, “To some of them it does…Not to all of them but to some of them it does.” Wow. Really motivates you to spend your money and start swallowing a foreign substance.
One would think that people who make a living producing videos would find it easy to use their skills to create an infomercial. Wrong. An infomercial with such poor production values hasn’t aired in 15 years. Apparently, once these people try to tape anything other than naked bodies humping, they find themselves way out of their depth. Only the worst public access shows are as chintzy as this thing.
It’ll probably make millions.
Chantz Fortune gives a less-than-rousing endorsement of the idea that "size matters" before distributing ExtenZe pills to the crew.
Here Ruby expresses a desire to get to know ExtenZe company rep. Lawrence Ross better—much to the disgust of Ron Jeremy.