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Wikipedia:Wikipedia Signpost/2021-01-31/Humour

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<Wikipedia:Wikipedia Signpost |2021-01-31
Dr. Seuss's Guide to Wikipedia: With a special appearance by Senator Ted Cruz!
The Signpost

Humour

Dr. Seuss's Guide to Wikipedia

One hundred years ago, Theodor Seuss Geisel (better known as "Dr. Seuss") arguably began his writing career by authoring a book review of a railroad timetable and contributing to the Dartmouth College humor magazineJack-O-Lantern.[1] Since then millions of children – young and old – have delighted in the wit and wisdom of his iconic books with their hallucinatory illustrations. In celebration of this centennial,The Signpost has blatantly hijacked some of Seuss's most familiar works (and a few less familiar ones) in service of the perhaps questionable goal of indoctrinating a new generation of editors in the wacky ways of Wikipedia.
"It's a pretty good zoo",
said young Gerald McGrew,
"And the fellow who runs it
seems proud of it, too."
– Dr. Seuss,If I Ran the Zoo
“You're off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting,
so get on your way!		”
— Dr. Seuss,Oh, the Places You'll Go!

All around the world
they're editing.
And so theydon't need me.
Let others editSwitzerland
orMemphis, Tennessee.
Let them edit inAlaska
and inChina.
I don't care.
Let others editItaly.
Let others editSpain.
Let them editMassachusetts,
Connecticut andMaine.
Someone else can editLondon
andParis andBerlin.
Let them edit all they want to.
But not me.
I'm sleeping in.[9]

Just go. Go. GO! I don't care how.
You can go editfoot. You can go editcow.[10]

My wonderful weapon, theRollbacker-Snatchem,
will roll back those edits as quick as we catch 'em.[11]

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You canredirect articles
any places you choose.[12]

Ei! What a committee! Fit for its purpose!
Our clerks theylove clerking.They say, "Work us! Please work us!
We'll clerk and we'll clerkuntil we're lightheaded
(But you'll only see half'causediscussion's unthreaded!)" [13]

“I'm a North-Going Zax
andI always go north.
Get out of my way, now,
and let me go forth!		”
— Dr. Seuss,The Zax

I learned there arevandalsof more than one kind.
Some come from ahead andsome come from behind.
But they gave methe bit –I'm all ready you see.
Now those vandals are going

to be blocked by me! [19]
“
   And to Think That I Saw It in a Featured Article[20]
Those stars weren't so big. They were really so small.
You might think such a thing wouldn't matter at all.
”
— Dr. Seuss,The Sneetches and Other Stories

I'll just have tofix it. Because, after all
An error's an error, no matter how small.[25]

I meant what I said, and I said what I meant ...
ArbCom is faithful, one hundred per cent! [26]

“Unless someone like you
cares a whole awful lot,
nothing is going toget better.
It's not.		”
— Dr. Seuss,The Lorax

Linkinternal,external,piped or unpiped.
Oh, the links you can link up however you like!
Don't link left-wing or right-wing,promo orspam.
Practicesafe linking whenever you can! [27]

Wrote theFar Western part
Of south-east North Dakota,
And a very fine article
About theiota,
But I'll write a stub
That is even much finer
On thenorth-eastern west part
Of South Carolina.[35]

Editors know, up topyou see great sights,
but down here at the bottom, we too should have rights.[36]

“Are you sure everyone onenwiki is working?
Quick! Check thecontribs! Is anyoneshirking? [37]		”
“I'm sorry to say so but sadly it's true
thatedit conflicts can happen to you.[38]		”
“
The Waiting Place
A place you could sprain
both your elbow and chin!
Do you dare to stay out?
Do you dare to go in?
How much can you lose?
How much can you win?
”
— Dr. Seuss,Oh, the Places You'll Go!

FATHER MOTHER SISTER BROTHER
That wasn't me,it was my brother.
My brother edits little bits
Fixing words likeits andit's.[45]
———
*Non-geeks should refer to our article onPOP3.


A Little Dab'll Do Ya!
Too Many Dabs[46]

Too ManyDebs


Aides-mémoire

Thanks Doc, we couldn't have done it without you!
Bonus video
video icon
I do not like thatsingle-payer,
I do not want it for myBayer.
I will not useObamacare,
I will not use it anywhere.
I will not use it for asprain,
I will not use it in the brain.
I will not use it for mygout,
I will not use it on mysnout.
I will not use it for my head,
I will not use it when I've bled.
I will not use it here or there,
I will not use it anywhere! [47]
     "I'm telling you this
           'cause you're one of my friends.
     My alphabet starts
           where your alphabet ends! ...
     So, on beyond Z!
           It's high time you were shown
     That you really don't know
           All there is to be known."
— Dr. Seuss,On Beyond Zebra!
  1. ^Lathem, Edward Connery, ed. (2004) [1976]."The Beginnings of Dr. Seuss: An Informal Reminiscence".Dartmouth College. Retrieved2021-01-22.
  2. ^Dr. Seuss's ABC
  3. ^One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish
  4. ^I Can Lick 30 Tigers Today! and Other Stories
  5. ^I Can Read with My Eyes Shut!
  6. ^Come over to My House
  7. ^Hooray for Diffendoofer Day!
  8. ^The Bippolo Seed and Other Lost Stories
  9. ^I Am Not Going to Get Up Today!: "All around the world / they're getting up. / And that's okay with me. / Let the kids get up in Switzerland / ... or Memphis, Tennessee. / Let the kids get up in Alaska / ... and in China. / I don't care. / Let the kids get up in Italy. / Let the kids get up in Spain. / Let them get up in Massachusetts / and Connecticut and Maine. / Let the kids get up in London / and in Paris and Berlin. / Let them get up all they want to. / But not me. / I'm sleeping in."
  10. ^Marvin K. Mooney Will You Please Go Now!: "Just go. Go. GO! / I don't care how. / You can go by foot. / You can go by cow."
  11. ^The Butter Battle Book: ""My wonderful weapon, the Jigger-Rock Snatchem, / will fling 'em right back just as quick as we catch 'em."
  12. ^Oh, the Places You'll Go!: "You have brains in your head. / You have feet in your shoes. / You can steer yourself any direction you choose."
  13. ^If I Ran the Circus: "Ei! Ei! What a circus! My Circus McGurkus! / My workerslove work. They say, "Work us! Please work us! / We'll work and we'll work up so many surprises / You'd never see half if you had forty eyeses!"
  14. ^You're Only Old Once!
  15. ^Oh Say Can You Say?
  16. ^Great Day for Up!
  17. ^Did I Ever Tell You How Lucky You Are?
  18. ^How the Grinch Stole Christmas!
  19. ^I Had Trouble in Getting to Solla Sollew: "And I learned there are troubles / Of more than one kind. / Some come from ahead / And some come from behind. / But I've bought a big bat. / I'm all ready, you see. / Now my troubles are going / To have troubles withme!"
  20. ^And to Think That I Saw It on Mulberry Street
  21. ^The Foot Book
  22. ^Green Eggs and Ham
  23. ^Horton Hatches the Egg
  24. ^My Book about ME
  25. ^Horton Hears a Who!: "I'll just have to save him. Because, after all, / A person's a person, no matter how small."
  26. ^Horton Hatches the Egg: "I meant what I said, and I said what I meant. / An elephant's faithful, one hundred per cent!"
  27. ^Oh, the Thinks You Can Think!: "Think left and think right / and think low and think high. / Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try!"
  28. ^Daisy-Head Mayzie
  29. ^Horton and the Kwuggerbug and More Lost Stories
  30. ^What Pet Should I Get?
  31. ^Thidwick the Big-Hearted Moose
  32. ^The King's Stilts
  33. ^Bartholomew and the Oobleck
  34. ^The Shape of Me and Other Stuff
  35. ^If I Ran the Zoo: "In the Far Western part / Of south-east North Dakota / Lives a very fine animal / Called the Iota. / But I'll capture one / Who is even much finer / In the north-eastern west part / Of South Carolina."
  36. ^Yertle the Turtle and Other Stories: "I know, up on top you are seeing great sights, / But down here at the bottom, we, too, should have rights."
  37. ^Horton Hears a Who!: "Are you sure everyWho down inWho-ville is working? / Quick! Look through your town! Is there anyone shirking?"
  38. ^Oh, the Places You'll Go!: "I'm sorry to say so / but, sadly, it's true / that Bang-ups / and Hang-ups / can happen to you."
  39. ^There's a Wocket in My Pocket
  40. ^Fox in Socks
  41. ^The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T.
  42. ^Dr. Seuss's Sleep Book
  43. ^The 500 Hats of Bartholomew Cubbins
  44. ^The Cat in the Hat
  45. ^Hop on Pop: "FATHER / MOTHER / SISTER / BROTHER / That one is my other brother. / My brothers read a little bit. / Little words like / If and it."
  46. ^Too Many Daves
  47. ^Green Eggs and Ham: "I will not eat them in the rain. / I will not eat them on a train. / Not in the dark! Not in a tree! / Not in a car! You let me be! / I do not like them in a box. / I do not like them with a fox. / I will not eat them in a house. / I do not like them with a mouse. / I do not like them here or there. / I do not like them ANYWHERE! / I do not like green eggs and ham! / I do not like them, / Sam-I-am."
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Beautifully putt

This is a disambiguation page for the term "Wikipedia". For information about disambiguation on Wikipedia, see Wikipedia:Disambiguation. For other uses of "Wikipedia" in project namespace, see Wikipedia:Wikipedia (disambiguation).

Everything clear now. -DePiep (talk)18:16, 1 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]
I intend to show this article to some kids who (are taught English as forein language, and) are bored to aversion to that subject by curicula their teachers of English feed them.
I estimate they'll stop being bored, get interested about how the rhytm and melody materialize when text is read correctrly, get interested how to try to create their own poetry, and to get interested about what all the references (links) the humour is about. Boredom should vanish, and their teachers shall have a whole new universe of problems trying to answer the questions from every field possible (and some unpossibles), instead of their previous sole one - uninterested and unmotivated pupils.
That should also remove (too many) unmotivated and bored teachers' boredom also, and I hope they survive the experience.But if they do survive, most should remember (or even (re)learn) joy of teaching, and joy of seeing pupils flashing forward growing (in mind), instead of being laborously towed to memorize next datum listed in the curriculum.
Thanks for this article. I suppose you enjojed creating it about as much as I am reading it, and naughtily thinking to whom and at what correct moment to submit it to read.--Marjan Tomki SI (talk)10:06, 21 June 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Unfortunately you're one of only about ten people who actually read it. Never have so many done so much to give laughs to so few.EEng17:55, 21 June 2021 (UTC)[reply]
The Signpost islooking for new talent.
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