This is a humorousessay. It containshumorous advice or opinions of one or more Wikipedia contributors and isn't meant to be taken seriously. This is not an encyclopedia article or one ofWikipedia's policies or guidelines and may not representcommunity consensus. |
| This is an officialdecree by theSupreme Cabal Regime of the English Wikipedia (SCREW). It expresses opinions and ideas that are absolutely and irrefutablytrue, whether you like them or not. Changes to it must reflect the wishes of S.C.R.E.W. When in doubt,pleaseignore thetalk page andjust keep reverting. |
| This page in a nutshell: What happens on Wikipedia, stays on Wikipedia. |

While it is fine to recruit sane, reasonable people to becomeWikipedians, one must remember that Wikipedia isintensely addictive and talking about all the fundisputes you've been having, people you've beenoppressing, andgeneral mayhem you've enjoyed as a Wikipedian may cause them to spontaneously attempt tojoin in.
Unfortunately, new users, including those with anumeric moniker, diving in to join in thefun other people are having tend to stick out like sore thumbs and will promptly belabeled as your evilsock minions and end upnot having any fun at all. This is especially true when they play with therevert button, takeup arms on your side, andattack your enemies. While this may seem very pleasant from one point of view, it reflects badly on you, and is detrimental to the long-term health of these well-intentionednewbies.
As a result, theSupreme Cabal Regime of the English Wikipedia (SCREW) has decreed that new users should be treated in the following fashion:
Only by following this complicated andnecessary task can new users be properly certified by thecabal and made in to productive abusers of theFive Pillars of Evil.
It has come to the attention of theSupreme Cabal Regime of the English Wikipedia (SCREW) that somenefarious users have been recruiting new userssolely in order for them tofight on their behalf. This is strongly discouraged, as the raising ofarmies on Wikipedia is permitted only when there is aprimogeniture dispute betweenadmins,[2] due to the immensecollateral damage modernwarfare causes.