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Wikipedia:The Last Word

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
"WP:WORD" redirects here. For other uses, seeWikipedia:Department of Fun/Word Association.
This page is intended ashumor. It is not, has never been, nor will ever be, a Wikipediapolicy or guideline.
Rather, it illustrates standards or conduct that are generallynot accepted bythe Wikipedia community.
iconThis page in a nutshell: In Wikipedia, sometimes debates get heated. Whenever this occurs, it is of primary importance that you always ensure that you get The Last Word.
Getting in the last word is advantageous.

InWikipedia, even more than in real life, gettingThe Last Word in a debate is crucial, as it is the only proof of your argumentative success over competing editors. The following is a useful collection of suggestions on why and how to obtain your right to have the Last Word, however tenaciously your opponent may be trying to rob you of your privilege.

Reasons for getting the last word

[edit]
Nelson's last word: 'It's an mdash, Hardy.' Wikiquote has a selection offamous last words you can use. (The strategy is to expire after the utterance.)

Getting the last word means that you win the debate. It also shows your moral superiority. This should convince your opponent that you are correct, and will certainly impress your fellow Wikipedians.

It is particularly important to get the last word where you are in some doubts as to the merits of your case. The last word will serve as a clinching argument that will make up for any deficiencies in your logic. Achieving the last wordnow also brings the advantage that you may subsequently point to your success inthis debate as the clinching argument in future debates. However, if you didnot win the last discussion, we still recommend claimingincessantly that you did.

How to get the last word

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The sucker wasted all reserves in the first rounds. Time for thefinal blow Last Word.

We recommend the followingtried and tested tactics to aid you in taking what is rightfully yours.

Often, your opponent will not understand the importance of the last word (abr. TLW™) and will readily concede the ground to you (in which case it's neverthelessmandatory to rub it in their face on all relevant talk pages). However, sometimes your opponent is well aware of this Wikipedian convention and will attempt to wrongfully deprive you of your right. Do not give ground to such intimidation. Pursue your case with fortitude and vigour. If your actual arguments have already been stated on the page, do not fear to repeat them in a slightly different form. CAPITALISING YOUR ARGUMENT,bolding sections, orenlarging text can be used to give variety if you fear you are being repetitive.

I know what you're doing, you are just trying to have theWP:WORD!

Debates are like boxing matches. Try to make your opponent do the footwork so they get exhausted while you preserve your energy for thefinal blow Last Word. If they bring any arguments you cannot immediately refute,play dumb and ask for clarification, it helps wear off the adversary's patience. Ask for more sources and better sources (ideally in that order). If they insolently keep providing answers, arbitrarily stop replying for a while. Better yet, point out that their answer dodges thereal question, which is something tangentially (if at all) related to your original point. Be sure to post on their user talk page, so they have additional opportunities forfrustration thoughtful response. You can conserve your own energy by posting one question on the article talk page, posting a second question on their user talk page, then posting that second question on the article talk page and the first question on the user talk page.

Harold foolishly conceded the last word to William.

Elegance is relative. Cheat, if you think you can get away with it. Call inyour friends uninvolved users to keep the other party busy and distract from the original debate. Exploit the headstart you have over impudent newbies. Most of them walk into debates like knifers into a gunfight: Easy prey.

Muriel got TLW™, by outliving all the members of her Wikiproject.

In thelast resort, it is very advisable to usewarning templates as early as possible (go there now and pick one or three) and to cite any convenientpolicies that you think will be useful to your cause. (Vandalism templates are usually the best). After all, one template says more than a thousand words, and it's an elegant way to get thelast word in case the otherbastard user just won't concede the ground.

NB: If your opponent attempts to seize the last word for themselves, be careful to point out the folly of this strategy, perhaps citing this project page. Alternatively, state that since your opponent loves to get the last word, you will graciously cede it to them. These clever techniques allow you to simultaneously regain the last word for yourself while making any sort of reply from your opponent seem in bad faith.

Other complementary tactics

[edit]
A senior Wikipedian loses TLW™ toa promising upstart.

The following are practical enhancements to allTLW™ strategies:

  • Remindthe little freaks your opponents that they should abide byWikipedia:Assume good faith andWikipedia:No personal attacks. If you are, why shouldn't they?
  • Liberally employvandalism accusations. It is at least theoretically possible that their edits are vandalism, so there is no reason not to raise this concern.
  • If the "arguments" of the other side are being agreed to by one or more people, chances are you're dealing withsockpuppets, so make sure to appropriatelydemand proof of innocence.
  • Noticeboard reports are strongly recommended but carry the great risk of being overlooked or not yielding a useful response (beware ofthebad admins™). You may want todistribute the risk by posting to several noticeboards at once, including but by no means limited toWikipedia:Dispute resolution noticeboard,Wikipedia:Administrators' noticeboard, and of course the chronically underusedANI, as well asall specific pages applicable in the given situation.
  • Block the jerk or get them blocked by one ofthe good admins™, andprotect their talk page – then post your comment.
  • Don't forget to bring up Jimbo. After all, he's the principal authority and mentioning him will give you an edge.Maybe excluding debates with Jimbo himself, but even then, it's still worth a try.
  • Indicate that you are "Unwatching" the page after your final last word (well, technically this tactic makes the wordUnwatching thede facto last word). That way the other editor will know that it's futile to add additional comments after your last word. The best thing about this tactic is you don't have to actually Unwatch the page. You can still monitor the page to see if there are any more attempts to usurp your position as the one with the last word, in which case you can continue to do battle and say you "just happened to be walking by".
  • It's worth noting there is a useful countertactic to someone claiming they are Unwatching a page in order to get the last word. What you do is put the{{dubious}} tag right after their "Unwatching" comment. They won't be able to object to you doing that, because they are purportedly not watching the page any more. Even if they use the "I just happened to be walking by[dubiousdiscuss]" excuse, they will have to admit you got under their skin, which is a victory in itself, and you will then be free to add your own last word.
  • Delete any other editors' comments which follow your last word. Technically this is a violation of theEditing Others' Comments Policy, but you can get away with it if you claim the other editor was not merely being uncivil but was actually engaged inTrolling or evenVandalism, which are exceptions to theEditing Other's Comments Policy under a different policy, i.e., theRemoving Uncivil Comments Policy.


NB: any attempt by them to deprive you ofTLW™ is quite obviouslyuncivil, possiblyJUST TROLLING and certainly a UNILATERALVIOLATION ofWikipedia:Don't disrupt Wikipedia to illustrate a point. RESIST it at ALL costs.

See also

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Philosophy
Article construction
Writing article content
Removing or
deleting content
The basics
Philosophy
Dos
Don'ts
WikiRelations
About essays
Policies and guidelines
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