 | This page containsmaterial that is kept because it is consideredhumorous. Such material is not meant to be taken seriously. |
 | This is an officialdecree by theSupreme Cabal Regime of the English Wikipedia (SCREW). It expresses opinions and ideas that are absolutely and irrefutablytrue, whether you like them or not. Changes to it must reflect the wishes of S.C.R.E.W. When in doubt,pleaseignore thetalk page andjust keep reverting. |
 Thisdecree in anutshell:Administrators oppose editorsbecause their edits violate policy,not because the admins areconspiring with theForces of Darkness™. |
Rouge admins are acabal ofadministrators, governed byfive pillars of evil andthe Five Pillars of Untruth, who stand in the way ofWikipedia's true purpose, which is to disseminate new and controversial theories, publicise hitherto suppressed views aboutestablishment figures, document the stories which the...Please check all that apply:
... news media refuse to touch, suppresssmall businesspeople from establishingginger monopolies as the first step to attaining secular galaxial government,[b] and bring topublic attention the “Holy Grail” which the said groups refuse to endorse.
When the fearless blogger-after-truth stands alone before the might ofVested Interests and only Wikipedia can bringThe Truth™ to the teeming multitudes, when the web forum hits thirty members and just 9,970 more will earn the webmaster a cent a click from banner advertising, whenI. K. Funk & Company rejects the call for resignation of the entire board backed by the holder of nearly two shares of common stock—that is when Wikipedia’s purpose can at last be realised.
And then it is that theRouge admins step in. Based on the flimsiest of grounds—policy and consensus—they require notThe Truth™ but that which isverifiable. They will not accept the word of anyone other than areliable source, no matter that all such sources are part of the greatconspiracy to suppressThe Truth™. They further demand that the dissenting opinions of those who believeThe Truth™ to becomplete bollocks be givendue weight. And they delete, delete, delete. Heedless of the hordes of anonymouskeep votes atArticles for Deletion, discounting the legion ofbrand new users who have registeredjust so they can ensureThe Truth™ is told, they accept without question the assurance offellowRouge admins thatThe Truth™ is unverifiable, incapable of being covered neutrally, unsourced and unproven. They resistperfectly reasonable demands forshrubberies before critical content can be added. And when morebrand new users come along torectify the situation by creating new articles withmuch better titles, theRouge admins race right back in todelete them again, toblock the new users andlock the articles.
All the pleading in the world falls on deaf ears. It’s as though theRouge admins do not realise that whenJimbosaid thatneutral point of view was non-negotiable,he didn’t mean it to stopThe Truth™ being told! And, well, even if he has stepped in numerous times to, um, enforce it, it’s only because… theRouge admins have poisoned his mind and misrepresented the situation on IRC. Or something.
TheRouge admins, scourge offair play, defenders of the powerful, in the pay of eitherCorporate America[c] orChinese Communists (or more likely both)—they insidiously subvert Wikipedia’s true mission, the mission Jimbo surely had in mind and simply forgot to add to thefive pillars. Damn thoseRouge admins!
Although one may initially think that theRouge admins are so named due to their well-documentedred-loving proclivities, or sneaky and renegade nature (similar to, for example, therogue character class inDungeons & Dragons), in fact, their name stems from thered or pink makeup they use to add colour to their cheeks. In contrast,rogue administrators wear only aftershave. And clothing. Once in a while.
