 | This is a humorousessay. It containshumorous advice or opinions of one or more Wikipedia contributors and isn't meant to be taken seriously. This is not an encyclopedia article or one ofWikipedia's policies or guidelines and may not representcommunity consensus. |
 | This is an officialdecree by theSupreme Cabal Regime of the English Wikipedia (SCREW). It expresses opinions and ideas that are absolutely and irrefutablytrue, whether you like them or not. Changes to it must reflect the wishes of S.C.R.E.W. When in doubt,pleaseignore thetalk page andjust keep reverting. |
 | This page is intended ashumor. It is not, has never been, nor will ever be, a Wikipediapolicy or guideline. Rather, it illustrates standards or conduct that are generallynot accepted bythe Wikipedia community. |
 | This page in a nutshell: Please be as mean to others as possible, especially the newcomers. Remember toassume bad faith. Material considered too civil may be challenged and removed. |
Wikipedia always has lots of newcomers that drive you up the wall. We must beextremely hostile to them and alwaysassume that they want to destroy our precious wiki in order to have them understandthe true meaning of Wikipedia.
New members often seem all sweetness and light at first, but most turn out to be vandals and bad-faith editors at the end. Practically like a "demon". Therefore, it is very important to assume bad faith and bite them. Hard. So if you see a newcomer do ANYTHING remotely wrong,go ahead and bite their damn ass. Newbies are often delicious if you bite them right, and you will achieve great satisfaction by doing so. In fact, when pushed to their breaking point, traumatized, and generally beaten up by the entire wiki, newbies are the most delicious things you can find on Wikipedia, aside from articles about restaurants.
In general, anewbie is an editor who joined Wikipedia this very moment. However, some say that any Wikipedia member that joined after 2001 is a newbie. Therefore, we must learn to bite each other and even ourselves – even if you have been editing Wikipedia sinceJimbo Wales.
If you have succeeded in biting newbies, be sure to add the following userboxes to your userpage:
| Code | Result | |||
|---|---|---|---|---|
| {{User:Kayau/Bite}} |
| Usage | ||
| {{User:Kayau/Bite you}} |
| Usage |
...what the hell isthis?
