The following discussion is closed.Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
| GA toolbox |
|---|
| Reviewing |
Article(edit |visual edit |history) ·Article talk(edit |history) ·Watch
Reviewer:Vami IV (talk·contribs)04:21, 15 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
In reviews I conduct, I may make small copyedits. These will only be limited to spelling and punctuation (removal of double spaces and such). I willonly make substantive edits that change the flow and structure of the prose if I previously suggested and it is necessary. For replying to Reviewer comment, please use
Done,
Fixed,
Added,
Not done,
Doing..., or
Removed, followed by any comment you'd like to make. I will be crossing out my comments as they are redressed, and only mine. A detailed, section-by-section review will follow. —♠Vami_IV†♠04:21, 15 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
This article is... massive. This review will take a while. –♠Vami_IV†♠04:21, 15 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
@Epicgenius,PointsofNoReturn, andⱮ: Review time :) –♠Vami_IV†♠04:21, 15 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
The current structure [...] The new structure [...] The current Grand Central TerminalBoring, change these up.
Drew's efforts to short-sell Harlem and New York Central stock failed, [...]This is the first mention of any short-selling of stock.
[...] having been incorporated in 1831 [...]Is there a link that could be applied here?
Vanderbilt commissioned John B. Snook to design his new station, dubbed Grand Central Depot, on the site of the 42nd Street depot.Date plz
The site was far outside the limits of the developed city at the time, [...]First mention of this being the case in the article.
Although Vanderbilt was inspired by French Classical architecture,This links to French Baroque architecture - is there referring to a specific section of the linked article? Did you meanNeoclassicism in France?
French Baroque architecture, sometimes called French classicism, was a style of architecture. Neoclassicism is different.epicgenius (talk)14:36, 18 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
It was considered the largest open space in the United States at the time. Grand Central Depot was the largest railroad station in the world at the time, as it contained 12 tracks and could accommodate 150 train cars at once.This can be condensed.
But the tracks laid to the new terminal proved problematic.Axe the "but" here.
The following year, [...]Replace with the year in discussion.
[...] and there was much criticism of the station's cleanliness.Lack of cleanliness?
a majestic electric-train hubPeacock-y; remove "majestic".
the terminal's windows were applied with blackout paintCondense to "the terminal's windows were blacked out".
The war also prompted the Farm Security Administration to install a 118 ft × 100 ft (36 m × 30 m) mural on the Main Concourse's east wall in 1941. The mural had a montage of photographs. It was part of a campaign to sell war bonds.Condense.
During World War II, the terminal alsoDelete this first clause.
The project restored the building's cornice; removing blackout paint applied to the skylights during World War II; installing new doors; and cleaning marble floors and walls.Make this past-tense and replace the semicolons with commas.
@Epicgenius,PointsofNoReturn, andⱮ: updated :) –♠Vami_IV†♠04:31, 7 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Each piece of new stoneWhat happened to the old pieces after their removal?
applied to the windows during World War II.Redundant, remove.
Good Article review progress box
|