Humiliation of a man being forced to kneel and hold adominatrix's purse with his mouth while being caned atFolsom Street Fair in US
Erotic humiliation or sexual humiliation is the act of performingconsensual psychologicalhumiliation, in order to produce erotic excitement orsexual arousal.[1] This can be for the person(s) being humiliated and demeaned, the person(s) humiliating them, or both. It is sometimes done before spectators, which includes performances of erotic humiliation in person, through pornography orwebcam modeling. It may be part ofBDSM and othersexual roleplay, and may be accompanied by the sexual stimulation of the genitals (or other erogenous zones) of one or both parties in the activity.
Humiliation is a highly subjective issue, and is dependent on context. Despite being carried out for erotic purposes, it is not necessary for erotic humiliation to be sexual in nature; as is the case with many other sexual activities, it is the feelings obtained from the experience that are desired, and that result in the arousal of those engaging in the practice, regardless of the nature of the actual activity. Humiliation is psychological. It most often involves or engenders feelings ofsubmission for the recipient(s) of the humiliation, anddominance for the individual(s) administering it.
Erotic humiliation can be done verbally, physically, or both, and can be either private or public. Some individuals assume an active role (as a degrader) and others prefer to be spoken to in a degrading way (as a degradee). A common technique used to allow the submissive, also referred to as (but not to be conflated with) abottom, to enter a state of mind of complete submission is to humiliate them while providing them with sexual stimulation. Some individuals who desire this form of humiliation also use it to acquire emotional release (as a form ofcatharsis). Humiliation can becomeritualized, and unlike some sexual variations, it can also be carried out easily over long distances (for instanceonline).
While fantasy and fascination with erotic humiliation is a prevalent part of BDSM and other sexual roleplay practices, relatively little has been written on it.[2] Humiliation play can, however, be taken to a point where it becomes emotionally or psychologically distressing to those involved, especially if it ispublic humiliation. Erotic humiliation can become extreme enough to be considered a form ofedgeplay, which some consider may best be approached with advancenegotiation and the use of asafeword.
A nude female submissive cleans her male dominant's shoe by licking it, on a public road in USA, 2012.
The most common name for the individual being humiliated is thebottom, and the opposite individual who humiliates the bottom is often called thetop. However, these terms are standard ones that are used in generaldominant/submissive roleplay and are not specific to humiliation interests.
If the top is regarded as a female, they are sometimes called thehumiliatrix. Other common names includeMaster/Dom (male top), andMistress/Domme (female top).
For the bottom (irrespective of gender), other common names areslave andsub/submissive.
While elements of erotic humiliation may be part of a number ofdomination and submission-based activities, humiliation is not the same assubmission. The recipient does not necessarily seek to be ordered about. Humiliation comes into its own as a sexual force when the recipient seeks the humiliation over and above means. For example, beingspanked is primarily valued because of the belittlement involved. Humiliation therefore encompasses a range ofparaphilia, includingfoot fetish,breast fetish,shoe fetish,body worship,spanking,cum shots,peotomy,bondage, and mostBDSM styles. It can be as basic as the desire to kiss and massage feet as a precursor to sex; and it can be complex, involving roleplay and public displays of subservience. It can also be for a set period of time (a "scene") or an ongoing facet of a relationship. Thehumiliation is not intrinsic to the act or the object. Rather, it issemiotically charged by the shared attitude of the partners engaged in the act. They invest specific acts, objects, or body parts with a humiliating aspect.[3]
Requirement to ask permission for everyday activities, such as going to the toilet, spending money, and eating.
Infeederism, the dominant partner may humiliate the other by pointing out their weight or calling them names likepiggy orfatty. They also might make fun of the other and their self-control, or poke and grope their flesh. The feedee may be required to consume on camera food that will lead to weight gain.
Forced repetition, such as the humiliated one being obliged to repeat commands that he or she has been given and to confirm them.
Forcedflattery, such as agreeing that every decision that the dominant makes is wise, correct, and justifiable, while additionally praising the dominant's physical and personality traits.
Detailed accountability and control (micro-management) as to time spent and activities done, including lists of jobs to do, precise directions as to how the job is to be performed, and exactly how to act and behave.
Specific rituals and affectations to be adopted. This includes displays of subservience, such as lighting cigarettes, walking a pace behind the dominant, speaking only when spoken to, eye contact rules, kneeling orprostrating oneself in front of the dominant when expecting orders, eating only after others or on the floor, and low-status place to sleep.
Body worship, including such activities as kissing or licking the dominant's feet, boots,buttocks,anus,vulva, etc. to express acknowledgment, subservience,shame, and even positive emotions (such as happiness and excitement).
Both men and women may be expected to go completelynaked, with decorative objects such as collars, diapers, bands, tiaras, and cuffs as the only exceptions. This may even extend to when friends, family or strangers are visiting or in some public situations.
Expected to keep a certain hairstyle or have a shaved head.
Cuckolding, a mostly heterosexual fetish in which the dominant woman has sex with a man outside of the relationship, called a "bull", sometimes in the presence of the submissive man, who sometimes is allowed to masturbate while watching.[10] If the man is not present, he might help her choose what clothes to wear when she meets the other man, or they might get together afterward so she can tell him about it, either while having sex or in addition to withholding sex. If the wife and husband are not together, the wife can call the husband by telephone, or use a video service likeFaceTime, so the husband can witness what happens to his wife and how much she enjoys it. Similar fetish iscuckqueaning[11] (sometimes spelled cuckqueening), in which the wife must witness and sometimes assist in her husband's sexual activity with another female known as a "cuckcake".[12] In some cases these threeways become long-term relationships.[10] Another variant of the cuckolding fetish is that a heterosexual couple fantasizes that another man will impregnate the woman.[13] Similarly in many cuckqueaning relationships women fantasize their partners to impregnate other women.
The comparison or shaming of the shape or size of the breasts during BDSM.[15][better source needed]
Enemas cause feelings of humiliation which are key to many of those engaged inklismaphilia,[16] and watching the consequent defecation can amplify that humiliation.
Some sexual humiliation involves physical inflicting pain, but much of it is far more concerned with ridicule, mocking,degradation, andembarrassment.
Sexual roleplaying can involve humiliation. For example, one person mightplay the part of a dog because they enjoy being mock-forced into it, and the top might emphasize the lowness of the bottom's status as an animal, whereas another person might play the role of the dog without any element of humiliation, simply as an expression of an inner animal or playful spirit.
A woman urinating into the mouth of a man is an example of the practice ofgolden showers. The man is degraded by being treated as a human toilet.A woman wearing astrap-on dildo about to engage indoggy styleanal sex with a man. Such sex can be a way of humiliating a person.[17]
Humiliation in general stimulates the same brain regions that are associated with physical pain, the inference being that humans evolved to remember social rewards and punishments as strongly as they recall physical reward or pain in response to their environment. As with any form of pain experimentation in a sexual context,consent and (paradoxically) a high degree of awareness and communication are needed to ensure that the result is desirable, rather than abusive. For example, a submissive may enjoy being insulted in some ways but would be genuinely crushed and devastated if humiliated or insulted in other ways.
Humiliation play is also connected tosexual fetishism, in that non-sexual activities may become sexualised by association with arousal, and also may be associated withexhibitionism in the sense of wanting others to witness (or being aroused by others witnessing) one's sexual degradation.
For some people, activities such as name-calling are a way of achievingego reduction or getting oversexual inhibitions. For example, between gay people, terms usually associated withhomophobia may be used, such asfaggot anddyke.
As with all sexual activities, some people havesexual fantasies about humiliation, and others actually undertake it as a lifestyle or in ascene. Sexual fantasies relating to mild humiliation are common. Some humiliation roleplay (pup-play andage play in particular) is combined with loyalty and care-giving to the extent that these fetishes can be seen as exercises in trust rather than primarily a humiliation fetish. The desire to be beneath the other partner during intercourse, the idea of "getting caught" (as in having sex in the garden or woods), and simulated rape are emotional games that emphasise status, vulnerability, and control. However, for most people such ideas remain fantasies; the people would have strong reservations about the fantasies' being made public, or engaged in with a partner in real life, however erotic the idea may be. When someone reveals a fetish to a partner, this usually is a result of great trust. However, the desire to be humiliated may be a motivating cause for confession, in that the act of confessing can itself be humiliating. Many people worry about being ridiculed for their fetishes, and such ridicule from their partners could be psychologically catastrophic. Therefore, many people use online humiliation (in which thehumiliator and others are involved via theInternet, using chat, e-mail, websites, etc.) as a compromise between exhibitionism and reality on the one hand, and safety and anonymity on the other.
Online humiliation occurs when an individual is seen in a sexually embarrassing context on the Internet. This practice allows the submissive to seek fetish partners from across the world. As the Internet has grown and continues to grow, so does online humiliation. Anecdotal reports indicate that the proportion of men being dominated by women on the Internet, through some type of personal service provided for a fee by the woman, vastly exceeds the instances of a woman being dominated online by a man, or another woman.
Embarrassing photographic or video assignments for submissives, who must publicly post pictures or videos of their humiliation. The dominant may require public acts or exposure. Sometimes humiliating words are written on the submissive's body before photographing.
Requiring the submissive to publicly post their name, address, phone number, employer, or other personal information.
The requirement for submissives to keep online journals detailing personal information, such as masturbation frequency, thoughts or fantasies, technique or aid(s) used, and disposal of semen (if the submissive is allowed to masturbate).
The requirement for the submissive to place themselves inchastity, and to publicly post a picture showing their status.
Verbal abuse.
Publicly bidding for items that reveal their fetishes.
Money slavery, in which the submissive must buy the dominant gifts and pay the dominant's bills and taxes, or give the dominant direct access to their bank accounts and credit cards.
Homework slavery, in which the submissive must do the dominant's homework or occupational work.
Repetitive assignments, such as copying the phone book.
Humiliating the submissive by changing information on social sites.
Controlling the submissive's computer remotely, throughremote desktop software the submissive is required to install.
^Giannini, AJ; Colapietro, G; Slaby, AE; Melemis, SM; Bowman, RK (1998). "Sexualization of the female foot as a response to sexually transmitted epidemics: a preliminary study".Psychological Reports.83 (2):491–8.doi:10.2466/pr0.1998.83.2.491.PMID9819924.
^Gloria G. Brame; William D. Brame; Jon Jacobs (1993).Different Loving.
^St. James, Sindy (2008).How To Get Her To Watch Porn. SecretLifePublishing. pp. 108–110.ISBN978-0-9818039-5-1.there is an entire fetish surrounding this act, mostly connected with female-dominated relationships. ... The man can or cannot be present while the woman is having sex with another man (it's overwhelmingly heterosexual cuckolding with this fetish). If the man is not present, he might help her choose clothes for her "date," or they might get together afterward so that she can tell him all about it in detail, either while having sex or in addition to withholding sex as part of the female domination aspect of their relationship. If the man is present during the cuckolding, he may or may not be allowed to pleasure himself while watching his partner have sex with another man. Also, the cuckolding may or may not immediately be followed by sex between the couple.Impregnation and Pregnancy Fetish ... you and your partner fantasizing during sex ... that you both just found out she is pregnant... it can involve cuckolding ... When it is a part of the cuckolding fetish, the fantasy involves the "other man" having impregnated her, and his sperm being stronger than yours, and several other kinds of (agreed-to) humiliation.
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