Bornstein is one of the earliest U.S. popular culture icons that identifies astransgender. In 1986, Bornstein started identifying asgender non-conforming; she[a] has stated "I don't call myself a woman,and I know I'm not a man".[3]: x Bornstein now identifies asnon-binary.[4] Bornstein has also written about havinganorexia, being a survivor ofPTSD, and being diagnosed withborderline personality disorder.[3]: xi
Bornstein joined theChurch of Scientology in 1970,[3]: 48-50 eventually becoming a high-ranking lieutenant in theSea Org,[7][8] but later became disillusioned and formally left the movement in 1981. Bornstein's antagonism toward Scientology and public split from the church have had personal consequences; Bornstein's daughter, herself a Scientologist, no longer has any contact per Scientology's policy ofdisconnection.[9]
Bornstein never felt comfortable with the belief of the day that all trans women are "women trapped in men's bodies".[10] Bornstein did not identify as a man, but the only other option was to be a woman, a reflection of thegender binary, which required people to identify according to only two available genders. Another complication was the fact that Bornstein was attracted to women.[7][3]: 42, 101, 243 She hadsex reassignment surgery in 1986.[3]: x
Bornstein settled into the lesbian community in San Francisco, and wrote art reviews for the gay and lesbian paperThe Bay Area Reporter.[11] Over the next few years, they began to identify as neither a man nor a woman.[12] This catapulted Bornstein back to performing, creating several performance pieces, some of them one-person shows.[13]
Bornstein also teaches workshops and has published several gender theory books and a novel.Hello Cruel World was written to keep "teens, freaks, and other outlaws" from dying by suicide. "Do whatever it takes to make your life more worth living," Bornstein writes, "just don't be mean."[14] In a May 2018 interview with theLGBTQ&A podcast, they said that they no longer have thoughts of suicide since writing the book.[15]
Bornstein's partner isBarbara Carrellas. They live in New York City with three cats, two dogs, and a turtle.[11]
In August 2012, Bornstein was diagnosed with lung cancer. They had surgery which initially seemed successful, but in February 2013 it was found that the disease had returned. Laura Vogel, a friend of Bornstein's, launched a GoFundMe campaign on March 20 to help fund subsequent treatment.[16] In December 2015, Bornstein announced that they had been cancer-free for two years.[17]
Bornstein made their Broadway debut in July 2018 in the playStraight White Men.[18]
Speaking to the LGBTQ&A podcast in July 2021, Bornstein talked about how her view of gender evolved during the COVID-19 pandemic, "Gender became inconsequential to me while I was in quarantine and grappling with old age...This is where you really need to be letting go of shit. I'm letting go of the ability to be cute, in certain ways. I'm too old for that. My face is sagging, my boobs are sagging. Boy, oh boy. They're down to my waist and you let go of that as being necessary to your gender."[19]
In 1989, Bornstein created a theatre production in collaboration with Noreen Barnes,Hidden: A Gender, based on parallels between their own life and that of theintersex personHerculine Barbin,[5] starring Bornstein andJustin Vivian Bond. In 2009, Bornstein'sHello, Cruel World: 101 Alternatives to Suicide for Teens, Freaks, and Other Outlaws was a Lambda Literary Award Finalist forLGBT Nonfiction and Honorbook for the Stonewall Children's and Young Adult Literature.[20] Bornstein editedGender Outlaws: The Next Generation in collaboration withS. Bear Bergman.[21] The anthology won Lambda Literary and Publishing Triangle Awards in 2011.[22][23] Bornstein's autobiographyA Queer and Pleasant Danger: A Memoir was released May 2012, and in April 2013, they releasedMy New Gender Workbook: A Step-by-Step Guide to Achieving World Peace Through Gender Anarchy and Sex Positivity. Recently, Bornstein has taken part in a theatrical tour in England. She also took part in the reality television seriesI Am Cait.[24]
Bornstein is a major cultural icon, influencing the social and political representation of transgender identity. Aperture referred to her as a "gender outlaw."[25]
Bornstein, Kate (2013).My New Gender Workbook: A Step-by-Step Guide to Achieving World Peace Through Gender Anarchy and Sex Positivity. New York:Routledge.ISBN978-0415538657.
Bornstein, Kate (2016).Gender Outlaw: On Men, Women, and the Rest of Us (Revised and Updated). New York: Vintage Books, a division of Penguin Random House LLC.ISBN978-1-101-97461-2.
Bornstein, Kate; Sullivan, Caitlin (2025).Nearly Roadkill: Queer Love on the Run. New York: Generous Press, an imprint of Simon & Schuster.ISBN9798991642859.
^abPiechota, Jim (August 9, 2012)."Surviving Scientology".Bay Area Reporter.Archived from the original on December 3, 2013. RetrievedFebruary 13, 2013.
^Kate Bornstein (October 6, 2010)."Don't Be Mean? Really?".Kate Bornstein Is A Queer and Pleasant Danger—this is her blog.Archived from the original on September 24, 2015. RetrievedSeptember 13, 2015.
Gentleman, Rye (2022). "Kate Bornstein" in Noriega and Schildcrout (eds.)50 Key Figures in Queer US Theatre, Routledge, pp. 26–29. ISBN 978-1032067964.
van Deven, Mandy (2011)."Gender Outlaws".Herizons. An Interview with Kate Bornstein and S. Bear Bergman.