Islamic marital ornikahpractices are traditions and practices that relate towedding ceremonies andmarriage rituals in theMuslim world. Muslims are guided byIslamic laws and practices specified in theQuran, but Islamic marriage customs and relations vary by country of origin and government regulations,[1] and non-Muslim practices (cakes, rings, music) sometimes appear despite the efforts ofrevivalists and reformers.[2]
Islam encourages early marriage,[3] not preceded by dating between the prospective bride and groom, as Islamic law places "strict conditions on interactions" between the opposite sexes.[4] Consequently, mainstream Islamic marriages tend to be "family affairs" where parents and other older relatives are involved in match making. Islamic marital jurisprudence allows Muslim men to bemarried to multiple women (a maximum of four at one time).
While there can be differences in marriage practices among Muslims, there are several steps to a marriage usually shared in the religion—including the ceremonieskhitbah (arranging a partner),nikah (agreement to marry ceremony),zifaf/rukhsati ("sending off"), andwalimah (wedding banquet).[5]
Young Muslim males and females are strongly encouraged to marry as soon as possible, since the family is considered the foundation of Islamic society, and fornication i.e. pre-marital sex, is forbidden.[1]
While the Quran mentions “baligh” (puberty) as a marker of maturity, and reaching puberty is often interpreted as the minimum age for marriage, (although physical and emotional maturity is agreed to be important), Muslim-majority countries[a] have minimum ages for marriage, (for example, the minimum age for marriage was 18 for both men and women in Egypt, 19 for women and 21 for men in Indonesia).[b] In Pakistan and Afghanistan, child marriages is illegal but still occurs due to "weak enforcement" and "deeply rooted cultural practices".[6]
The combination of encouraging early marriage and forbidding interaction between marriageable males and females (not excluding dating) means that traditionally, if not always, it has been the partners’ families that arrange for suitable partner for their child and then introduces them to each other. This way, (in theory) the union is about compatibility rather than infatuation or sexual desire.[7]
The first step in Islamic marriage where representatives of the prospective bride and groom get to know and vet each other, is called thekhitbah (Arabic:خطبة,romanized: khitbah,lit. 'betrothal').
Typically, the proposal is initiated from one interested side, but it may also occur through matchmaking from friends and acquaintances. The parties will compare personalities, values, and life plans for compatibility with each other, and may use pre-marital counselling. Traditionally the two potentials are prohibited from touching each other or being alone with each other, and conversations are closely supervised. Additionally, a woman who wear hijab covering her face (such asniqab) is permitted to unveil in order for the suitor to see her face.[8]
If both parties agree to move forward, they will then enter the committed stage, somewhat akin to"engagement". If not they part ways (on good terms, hopefully).
While the couple are still prohibited from meeting privately and from touching, their families may begin planning the coming formalities. The word fiancé is not used in Islam, but other terms may be used depending on the region. For example, inUrdu-speaking populations, they are calledrishta (potential marriage proposal).
There are different traditions forkhitbah in different Islamic societies:
One source describes a pious alternative to arranged marriages in the form of "halal dating". In this practice Muslim men and women meet and get to know each other on a "date", but avoid the temptation to have any physical contact by meeting in public places with a chaperone or a group of friends, and focusing on the "purity, faith, personality and mindset" of the potential partner.[10]
A required part of a Muslim marriage is a gift, known as aMahr, given by the groom to the bride. How much and what form it takes should be agreed upon beforehand. The Quran states:
TheMahr (donatio propter nuptias)[11] differs from a marriagedowry or gift, in that it is mandatory for a Muslim marriage and is paid by the groom to the bride for her exclusive use.[12][13] Mahr functions similar tobride wealth.
Because a secret marriage may lead to confusion or disputes, and because recognition of the couple's new status by the community reinforces the couple's commitment, it is recommended that the announcement of the marriage be made publicly. This is often done through gatherings or public statements.[14]
After the mahr has been settled, the couple can become husband and wife upon completion of thenikah ceremony. This usually has two stages—a verbal agreement and a signing of the marriage contract.[15]
The nikah ceremony requires the groom, the bride, the bride'swali (her Islamic legal guardian, usually her father), two Muslim witnesses, and an officiant. The person officiating is usually an Imam, but the location may be a private home or office of a judge (qadi) rather than amosque.[16]The wali will first ask for the bride's consent and then for the groom's commitment, before officially announcing the marriage.[17]
The verbal aspect involves both the bride and groom responding "Qubool" (meaning "I accept") three times.[15][18] This is followed by the written aspect, signing the marriage contract. From this point on, they are a married couple.[19] Following the acceptance of the nikah and the witnessing of it, those present recite the fatihah (the opening surah of the Quran).[16]
Next comes the wedding sermon (khutbah) which typically starts with three verses from the Holy Qur’an (Surah An-Nisa4:1,Surah Al Imran3:102, andSurah Al-Ahzab33:70), and onehadith,[20]
This recitation is calledKhutbat Al-Haajah ("The Sermon for Necessities").
After the Nikah is concluded, aDu’a is recited to ask for a blessing of the marriage, following the advise of this hadith of Muhammad:
Out of tradition, many Muslim grooms opt to wear theImamaturban at the wedding ceremony. Thepheta turban is common inSouth Asia, but is discouraged by Salafi and western scholars due to its non-Islamic connotations.[23]
Some Muslim couples have adopted the practice of wearingwedding rings. It is another practice that some scholars have forbidden the practice on the grounds that it imitates non-Muslims.[24]
AWalima[25] is abanquet that functions much like awedding reception. A Walima may occur the same day as a Nikah or months later.[26] It may take place at a banquet hall or other large venue. It is organized and paid for by the groom's side. Some Muslim couples have adopted the foreign practice of having awedding cake at the Walima, but at least some scholars advise that if a cake must be eaten,kufr practices such as eating cake in public should be avoided.[27]
Thezifaf ("sending off" of the couple to spend time together alone, typically, but not necessarily, leading toconsummation) is asharia term.Rukhsati (the beginning of living together as husband and wife) is the term used bySouth Asians.[28] A third term for the consummation of the marriage isdukhul ordukhlah, which is used in Arab countries.Sending off typically happen a few hours after the nikah or at least after the wedding banquet,[29] but it is permissible in Islam to wait a few months or years,[28] (for example, until the groom has earned enough money to pay the mahr).
The majority of scholars, namely the Hanafi, Maliki, and Hanbali, consider the approval of the bride and the groom who reached puberty one of the conditions of the marriage contract.[30][31][32] Shafi'i recommends strongly that daughters who are no longer minors be consulted before being married to someone.[33]
The Hanafi, Maliki and Hanbali schools of jurisprudence do not[31][30][32] allow "forced marriages", where consent has not been given by the bride or groom, or is given only under excessive pressure.[14]
This does not mean that parents/family are not allowed to persuade the prospective bride to do what the parents/family feel the bride should do. In at least one country (UK), researchers who talked to Muslim parents of marriageable daughters, found that the parents "generally agreed that physical force is unacceptable, psychological and emotional pressure is not considered to be coercion", according to Baroness Sayeeda Warsi, a Muslim United Kingdom Conservative Party spokeswoman on community cohesion,[34][35][36] Another study in the UK quoted a parent who used what they called "hard counselling ... to brainwash her mind .... If you wanna call [it that]" to deal with a daughter who tried to marry a non-Muslim.[37]Researchers Samad and Eade also write that at least in the UK, Muslim and other immigrant parents often resort to forced marriages to control daughters after displays of "sexuality and independence" by them.[38]In Nigeria (whose population is approximately half Muslim) the website Online Nigeria states that "parental consent is necessary for the valid celebration of marriage under Islamic law". Consent to the marriage by the girl's marriage guardian "is mandatory".[39]
Two adult male Muslims are required to witness the Nikah ceremony. A sahih hadith quotes Muhammad as saying:
In Islam, a man is allowed up to four wives at a time (polygyny) with certain restrictions. The Quran states:
A wife is allowed no more than one husband (polyandry is forbidden).
Since the 20th century, changing economic conditions, female empowerment, and acceptance of family planning practices, have led to the decline in polygynous marriages within the Muslim world.[42] (Turkey andTunisia have completely outlawed it). Nonetheless, it is still legal in most countries in thedeveloping world, including over 150 countries inAfrica and theMiddle East,[43][44] including a group of countries in West and Central sub-Saharan Africa, sometimes referred to as the “polygamy belt”. In the two most polygynous countries in that region —Nigeria andBurkina Faso — 40% of the Muslim population lives in polygynous households as of 2019.[45][46]
Polygamy is legal, (though often with restrictions), in most Muslim majority countries and most African countries, and illegal most everywhere else.[47] Notwithstanding its illegality in Western countries, a 2008 estimate of the number of people in Muslim polygynous families in the U.S. was 50,000 to 100,000,[48] and the number of Muslim polygamous families in the UK as of 2014 was estimated at 20,000.[49]
Islamic law "generally" forbids Muslim women from marrying non-Muslim men, but allows Muslim men to marry Christian or Jewish women "under specific conditions". The justification often given for this restriction is the need to preserve Islamic values and to avoid any conflicts that might arise from different religious obligations within a marriage.[50][51]
Two verses of the Quran that address the issue of interfaith marriage areSurah Al-Ma'idahQuran5:5 that permits Muslim men to marry chaste believing women "who have been given the Book" (Christian or Jewish),[52] andSurah Al-MumtahanahQuran60:10 which forbids marriage to "unbelieving women".
However, in the 21st century marriages between Muslim women and non-Muslim men have become "more and more" frequent in various parts of the world—for example, in theUnited States, about 10% of Muslim women are married to Non-Muslim men.[53] This has met with "varying degrees" of acceptance,[16] but a considerable amount of opposition from the majority of Orthodox Islamic scholars and interpreters,[50][51] such asHassan Al-Turabi.[54]
Quranic verse 4:23 gives a list of relatives Muslims are forbidden to marry, a class of people known asmahram (family members with whom marriage is permanently unlawful orharam):
your mothers, your daughters, your sisters, your paternal and maternal aunts, your brother's daughters, your sister's daughters, your foster-mothers, your foster-sisters, your mothers-in-law, your stepdaughters under your guardianship if you have consummated marriage with their mothers—but if you have not, then you can marry them—nor the wives of your own sons, nor two sisters together at the same time—except what was done previously. Surely Allah is All-Forgiving, Most Merciful. (Q.4:23)
Also forbidden to marry is anyone of the same sex,anyone who has had the same wetnurse feed them, anyone who is a polytheist. Not forbidden arecousins, including first cousins, as these are notmahram.
At least among strict Muslims, unnecessary direct conversation between prospective bride and groom before the Nikah is forbidden as it would be between any other two non-mahram (i.e. non-family members). Negotiation and proposals of marriage should be done through parents or guardians.[55] Also prohibited is kissing before the Nikah—nowithstanding its prominent place in non-Muslim marriages.[56][57][58]
In addition to the traditional marriages there are some Islamic marriages that lack some of the customary rights and obligations of marriage.
A fixed-term marriage[59] known aszawāj al-mut'ah ("temporary" or "pleasure" marriage), is a private and verbal temporarymarriage contract that is practiced only inTwelver Shia Islam.[60] Traditionally, a temporary marriage does not require witnesses or registration, though witnesses are recommended.[61] The duration of the marriage and themahr must be specified and agreed upon in advance,[62][63][64]: 242 [65]: 1045 and may be as brief as an hour or last several years. Though religiously sanctioned, it is socially stigmatized, and opposed by both feminists and religious conservatives on the grounds that it encourages prostitution.[66] In 2013, the BBC reported its use among young British Shia as a pre-marital way of "getting to know" someone of the opposite sex "without breaking the bounds of Sharia".[60]
Nikah Misyar lacks some of the conventional marital conditions such as living together, but is permitted by some Sunni scholars. It is not temporary, but does "usually end in divorce or abandonment".[66] Most misyar brides don't change their residences but pursue marriage on a visitation basis.[67][68][69] Because the practice relieves the misyar husband of the obligation to support his wife,[70] it is often used in some Islamic countries by men who cannot afford an orthodox marriage, and/or wish to give a legal recognition to behavior that might otherwise be considered adulterous.[71][66]
Nikah 'urfi is a "customary" marriage contract that commonly requires aWali (Islamic legal guardian) and witnesses but is not officially registered with state authorities. Usually a written statement that the two are married, is signed by the couple and at least two witnesses, although a cassette tape with a recording of their commitment may be usedas documentation.[citation needed][72]'Urfi marriages are sometimes performed with no witnesses, but scholars consider such marriages to be “nikah faasid”—a corrupt or invalid marriage.[73]
At least according to Madiha Al Safty,[c] the 'Urfi marriage has a long tradition but its rationale tends to change over time.
"In the past, it was common among the widows of soldiers who had huge pensions and they did not want to lose it by officially re-marrying. Now, however, it is mostly among university students and young couples who cannot afford the high cost of marriage."[74]
(By "some estimates", as many as 20% of Egyptian university students are in `urfi marriages.)[75]
Nikah is permittedby proxy (i.e. via the telephone or video link), simply by both parties (or representatives on their behalf) exchanging declarations. This has caused issues in Western countries, such as theUnited Kingdom, which do not view proxy marriages as legitimate.[76][77]
To accommodate Islamic practices—early marriage, no dating, etc. -- in Muslim-majority countries there are Islamic institutions and networks (imams, communities of families, friends, and services) to help marriageable Muslim men and women find socially acceptable partners within the framework of Islamic traditions.[52]
Matchmaking or finding a Muslim spouse in countries where Muslim are a minority is more problematic. In addition to the mosque imam providing guidance for individuals who do not have a Muslim social network, there are also Islamic institutions (at least in the U.S. and Canada),[d] and internet matchmaking sites[e] which provide assistance.
Among the two billions Muslims and 49 Muslim majority countries in theMuslim world there are many regional and cultural differences. There has also been a mixing of family traditions with those of the host countries among many Muslims living in the West.[82]
However, in addition to the piety shown and fiqh-approved practices in most Muslim weddings and marriages, somejahiliyya practices remain and some non-Muslim practices have crept in (belly dancing, bride kidnapping, music, extravagance).
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Wedding ceremonies in theUnited Arab Emirates traditionally involve scheduling the wedding date, preparation for the bride and groom, and carousing with dancing and singing which takes place one week or less prior to the wedding night. Bridal preparation is done by women by anointing the body of the bride with oil, application of perfumes to the bride's hair, use of creams, feeding the bride with special dishes, washing the bride's hair with amber and jasmine extracts, use of theArabianKohl or Arabianeye liner, and decorating the hands and feet with henna, a ritual known as theLaylat Al Henna or “henna night” or "night of henna". Henna decoration is performed a few days before the wedding ceremony; during this evening, other members of the bride's family and guests also place henna over their own hands.
The Emirati bride stays at her dwelling for forty days until the marriage night, only to be visited by her family. Later, the groom offers her items that she will use to create theAddahbia, a dowry which is composed of jewelry, perfumes, and silk, among others, (according to one wedding planning site).[83][unreliable source?]
InDubai, the largest ofthe seven emirates of theUAE, the traditions of theBedouin wedding go back to the earliest Arab concept ofmatrimony, and emphasize marriage as a union of the two families. Traditionally lasting for seven days, Bedouin marriage preparations and celebration start with the marriage proposal known as theAl Khoutha, where the father of the groom-to-be asks the father of the bride-to-be for his daughter's hand in marriage to his son; customarily over cups of mintyArabtea.
If the questioned father shows interest, the families proceed negotiating the marriage contract (Al Akhd). The bride goes through the ritual of a “bridal shower” known asLaylat Al Henna, the henna tattooing of the bride's hands and feet, a service signifying attractiveness, fortune, and healthiness. This is followed byAl Aadaa , a groom-teasing rite done by the friends of the bride wherein they ask compensation after embellishing the bride with henna. The ceremonial also involves a familyprocession towards the bride's home, a re-enactment of awar dance known asAl Ardha, and theZaahbaah or the displaying of the bride's garments and the gifts she received from her groom's family. In the earliest versions of Bedouin wedding ceremonies, the groom and the bride live in atent made ofcamel hair, the bride staying out of public view during the nuptial proceedings. The wedding concludes with theTarwaah, when the bride rides acamel towards her new home to live with her husband. After a week, the bride will have a reunion with her own family. Customarily, the groom will not be able to join his bride until after the formal wedding procedure when they arrive at their post-wedding dwelling.[84]
Established Bedouin wedding customs also entail the use of hand-embroidered costumes, the dowry, and the bridewealth.[84][unreliable source?]
InEgypt, the largest Arab country and approximately 95% Muslim,[85] many contemporary marriages are based on the bride and groom falling in love, but the couple's family is still involved in arranging the union.[86]
An Egyptian Muslim marriage will often start with the groom asking for the blessing/approval of his proposal to marry from the family of the bride-to-be. If they accept, he will publicly declare the engagement, a process calledJe Peniot.[87]
Payment to the bride-to-be and her family will then be negotiated. There are two kinds of traditional Egyptian marriage payment to the bride-to-be from the groom-to-be—themahr and/orshabka. The mahr, or dower, goes to the bride-to-be's family. The shabka, which is a gift of gold and precious gems, goes to the bride herself.[87] Typically the groom gives both kind of gifts.[86]
Egyptian couples often have engagement parties thrown for them, with families and close friends from both sides in attendance. They are often more extravagant than an equivalent parties in the West, having elaborate decor, entertainment and even a feast where the shabka gift is presented to the bride.[87] The bride's family may host it in her home, a hotel or a fancy restaurant.[87] Even when the marriage is all but signed, the bride and groom are not allowed to meet alone without a chaperone.[87]
Egyptian couples often wear rings to symbolize engagement and marriage, but usually only one, and a simple gold or silver ring, not diamond. Couples will wear the one ring on their right hand when engaged and then during the wedding ceremony move it to the left hand.[87]
A day or two before the wedding, thehenna party is held, called thelaylat al-hinna, ("night of henna party"), if it is at night. It is equivalent to a bachelorette party and one of the "most" important Egyptian wedding traditions.[87] The bride is often carried into the bathhouse on a canopy wearing a red shawl and a cap or a crown on her head,[86] or a pink dress, made of cotton or silk.[87] The women all gather to decorate the hands and feet of the bride with intricate, traditional henna designs. There is much singing and dancing throughout the night. This tradition is thought to date toJahiliyyah times, in fact back thousands of years.[87]
The traditional Egyptian wedding ceremony usually occurs in either a marriage hall, the local mosque, or the family home.[86] The officiant is called amaa’zoun.[86] During the ceremony itself, brides typically wear a white wedding dress or a jewel-toned dress with a veil as a symbol of modesty.[87] Traditionally the groom will dress in a ceremonial tribal costume.[86] Guests typically wear something formal or semi-formal.[87]
The wedding ceremony usually begins with the bride and groom's arrival at the venue.[87] When the ceremony is over, the bride's father places the bride and groom's hands together and puts a white cloth over them, and the couple then repeat the words of theMaa’zoun.[86]
After the ceremony, around 10 pm or so, the wedding procession (zaffa) moves to the wedding reception, which often takes place at a local hotel.[86] Wedding guests will have decorated their cars with ribbons and other decorations on display outside the venue.[87] The bride arrives at the reception (kosha) with her father, the waiting groom will remove her veil and kisses her on the cheek or forehead.[86] Events at the reception will include welcoming of the guests by the newlyweds, taking of photographs,belly dancing (weddings are alleged to be "hardly complete" without a belly-dancer),[f] drumming.[87] and singing to entertain the guests, later a candelabra dance, and the cutting of the wedding cake and feeding of each other by the bride and groom.[86] When the reception is over, often in the early morning hours, the new couple will leave for the groom's house.[86]
In rural areas, Egyptian marriage traditions include a colorful procession where the bride often travels by camel, accompanied by her wedding party. They will dance and sing along the route. It's not uncommon for the women to express their joy throughzaghareet (ululation).[86]
In the wake of theArab Springurfi (unregistered) marriages reportedly spread inTunisia (99% Sunni Muslim). Hitherto confined to the poorer sectors of Tunisian society, they appeared on university campuses (such as theManouba University in northeastern Tunisia), thanks to the unrest of the revolution and the influence ofSalafi preachers and activists, according to a 2012 report byFrance24. The marriages gave religious sanction to the fulfillment of sexual urges of the young people, while circumventing the high costs of traditional rituals and ceremonies that come with state sanctioned marriage, and that the students could not afford. The marriages were (at least) often kept secret from families and have been criticized by feminists for leaving urfi wives vulnerable if they were abandoned by her husband as the marriages lack legal sanction.[89]
As of 2024 ostentatious practices at odds with the Islamic principles of "decency, modesty and peaceful coexistence", were being flaunted at weddings of theNigerian elite, according to a journal paper authored by Sherifat Hussain-Abubakar.[90] There are outrageous outfits and venue, arbitrary seat arrangement and feeding of guests, daunting dances and music, ... humorous games and speeches," events sometimes lasting "weeks". "Inserted" into the wedding celebration among the elite in "the name of modernity" were not just western practices such as wedding cakes and rings, but "a pre-wedding Photo Shoot, Bridal Shower, Bachelor’s Party, Mother’s Day, After-party, etc.". The traditional wedding banquet has become overshadowed by a new "wedding reception", with "pricey and questionable activities";[90] one such activity being requiring guests to wear "specific" uniforms, known as aAso Ebi, sometimes costing as much as $1000, as the price of entrance to the wedding reception. These can become a burden to most in a poor country.[91] Hussain-Abubakar concludes that particularly objectionable at some receptions have been "women’s provocative appearances, outrageous mingling of the opposite sex in sitting arrangement and dances, improper and amorous utterances from reception artists", and the ignoring ofsalat prayer.[92]
Wedding customs inKyrgyzstan (90% Muslim but a former Soviet Republic where Islam had been suppressed for decades),[93] include the ‘elechek’, a traditional Kyrgyz headdress for brides signifying the transition from girl to married woman; food dishes such as the noodle dish ‘Beshbarmak’, and meat and onion dish ‘Kuurdak’.[94] But a hallmark of a Kyrgyzstan wedding and an ancient custom is the “Ala Kachuu” or “bride kidnapping”. These days it is usually symbolic and a just colorful procession,[94] but unfortunately, "widely practiced" (at least before 2013), in its literal form according to a study of marriage in that country in the post-Soviet era.[95]A resurgence in abduction of woman to be made brides has been part of a post-Soviet “return to tradition”[96] sometimes encouraged by Kyrgyz nationalists, serious enough for some members of the abducted bride's family to have been murdered, and for activism against it to become a "public movement of significant size and visibility".[97]
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Muslims in theIndian subcontinent normally follow marriage customs similar to those practiced by Muslims of the Middle East, which are based on Islamic convention.[98] The marriage ceremonies ofSunnis[99] and other Islamic traditions were first handed down tomedieval Indians by propagators of the Islamic religion that involvedsultans andMoghul rulers at the time.[99][g]
Before the wedding the bride's and groom's families make a decision regarding the price of theMehar (the matrimonial financialendowment given by the groom's family to the bride[98] that should be no less than tendirhams).[99] Traditional Muslim Indian wedding celebrations typically last for three days.[98] Prior to the observance of the wedding ceremony proper, there are two separate pre-wedding rituals—one at the groom's house and one at the bride's home. Both involve traditional dancing and singing.[99]
On the eve of the wedding day, a bridal service known as theMehndi ritual orhenna ceremony is held at the bride's home. This ritual is sometimes done two days before the actual wedding day. During this bridal preparation ritual,turmericpaste is placed on the bride's skin for the purpose of improving and brightening hercomplexion (something disapproved of by scholars because it is similar to the non-Muslim Hindu Graha Shanti / Pithi), after whichmehndi is applied on the bride's hands and feet by themehndiwali, a female relative.[98][99]
A practice that used to be part of Islamic wedding rituals in India but has been abandoned, is the anointing of teeth with a powder called 'missī' in order to blacken them.[100]
The wedding ceremony, known asNikah,[101] is officiated by theMaulvi orQazi, a religious official.[98][99] Among the important wedding participants are theWalises, who are the fathers of both groom and bride,[98] (the bride's father is also her legal representative).[99] It is the bride's father who promises his daughter's hand to the groom, a ritual known as theKanya-dhan.[99] Men and women are typically seated separately for this formal occasion, particularly in conventional Islamic weddings. Common sequences of the wedding ceremony include
After the Nikah, the now married couple joins each other to be seated among gender-segregated attendees.[98] The groom is customarily brought first to the women's area in order for him to be able to present gifts to his wife's sister.[99] Although jointly seated, the bride and the groom can only observe one another via mirrors, and a copy of the Quran is placed in between their assigned seats. With their heads sheltered by adupatta and while guided by the Maulvi, the couple reads Muslim prayers.[98]
After the wedding ceremony, the bride is brought to the house of her husband, where she is welcomed by hermother-in-law, who holds a copy of the Quran over her head.[98]
Thewedding reception hosted by the groom family is known as theValimah[98] or theDawat-e-walima.[99]
Prominent Muslims in China, such as generals, followed standard marriage practices in the 20th century, such as using western clothing like white wedding dresses.[citation needed]
Chinese Muslim marriages resemble typical Chinese marriages except traditional Chinese religious rituals are not used.[102]
In March 2017, Salamet Memetimin, an ethnicUyghur and theCommunist Party secretary for Chaka township's Bekchan village inQira County,Hotan Prefecture,Xinjiang,China, was relieved of her duties for taking her nikah marriage vows at her home.[103] In interviews withRadio Free Asia in 2020, residents and officials ofShufu County (Kona Sheher),Kashgar Prefecture (Kashi) stated that it was no longer possible to perform traditional Uyghur nikah marriage rites in the country.[104]
Malay wedding traditions (Malay:Adat Perkahwinan Melayu;Jawi script: عادة ڤركهوينن ملايو), such as those that occur inBrunei,Singapore,Malaysia, and parts ofIndonesia andThailand, normally include
Prior to being able to meet his bride, sometimes amak andam, a “beautician”, or any member of the family of the bride will intercept the groom to delay the joining of the would-be spouses; only after the groom was able to pay a satisfactory “entrance fee” could he finally meet his bride. The wedding ceremony proper is usually held on a weekend, and involves exchanging of gifts, Quranic readings and recitation, and displaying of the couple while within a bridal chamber. While seated at theirpelaminan “wedding throne”, the newly-weds are showered with uncooked rice and petals, objects that signifyfertility. The guests of the wedding celebration are typically provided by the couple with gifts known as thebunga telur (“egg flower”). The gifted eggs are traditionally eggs dyed with red coloring and are placed inside cups or other suitable containers bottomed withglutinous rice. These eggs also symbolize fertility, a marital wish hoping that the couple will bear many offspring. However, these traditional gifts are now sometimes replaced by non-traditional chocolates, jellies, or soaps.[106]
The marriage contract that binds the marital union is called theAkad Nikah, a verbal agreement sealed by a financial sum known as themas kahwin, and witnessed by three persons. Unlike in the past when the father of the bride customarily acts as theofficiant for the ceremonial union, current-day Muslim weddings are now officiated by thekadhi, a marriage official andShariat (or)Syariah Court religious officer.[106] In Indonesia, Muslim weddings are officiated and led by thepenghulu, the official ofKantor Urusan Agama (KUA or Office of Religious Affairs). TheAkad Nikah might be performed in the Office of Religious Affairs, or thepenghulu is invited to a ceremonial place outside the Religious Affair Office (mosque, bride's house or wedding hall).[107]
Muslim communities in thePhilippines include theTausug and T'boli tribe, a group of people inJolo, Sulu (an island in Southern Philippines) who practice matrimonial activities based on their own ethnic legislation and the laws of Islam. Their customary and legal matrimony is composed of negotiatedarranged marriage (pagpangasawa), marriage through the “game ofabduction” (pagsaggau), andelopement (pagdakup).[108] Furthermore, although Tausug men may acquire two wives, bigamous or plural marriages are rare.[108]
Tausug matrimonial customs generally include:
Regular arranged Islamic marriages through negotiation are typically according to parental wishes, although sometimes the son will also suggest a woman of his choice. This is the ideal, esteemed, and considered “most proper” in the legal point of view of Tausug culture, despite being a time-consuming and costly practice for the groom. If the parents disagree with their son's choice of a woman to marry, he might decide to resort to a marriage by abducting the woman of his choice, run away, run amuck, or choose to become an outlaw. In relation to this type of marriage, another trait that is considered ideal in Tausug marriage is to wed sons and daughters with first or second cousins, due to the absence of difficulty in negotiating and simplification of land inheritance discussions.[108] However, there is also another way of arranging a Tausug marriage, which is through the establishment ofmaglillah pa maas sing babai or by “surrendering to the lady’s parents”, wherein the lad proclaims his intention while at the house of the parents of the woman of his choice; he will not depart until he receives permission to marry. In other circumstances, the lad offers a sum of money to the parents of the lass; a refusal by the father and mother of the woman would mean paying a fine or doubling the price offered by the negotiating man.[109]
“Abduction-game marriages” are characteristically in accord with the grooms’ requests, and are performed either by force or “legal fiction”.[108] This strategy of marrying a woman is actually a “courtship game” that expresses a Tausug man's masculinity and bravery. Although the woman has the right to refuse marrying her “abductor”, reluctance and refusal does not always endure because the man will resort to seducing the “abductee”. In the case of marriages done through the game of abduction, the bridewealth offered is a gesticulation to appease the woman's parents.[108]
Elopements are normally based on the brides’ desires, which may, at times, are made to resemble a “bride kidnapping” situation (i.e. a marriage through the game of abduction) in order to prevent dishonoring the woman who wished to be eloped.[108] One way of eloping is known to the Tausugs asmuuy magbana or the "homecoming to get hold of a husband", wherein a Tausug woman offers herself to the man of her choice or to the parents of the man who she wants to become her spouse. Elopement is also a strategy used by female Tausugs in order to be able to enter into a second marriage, or done by an older unwed lady by seducing a man who is younger than her.[110]
During theengagement period, the man may render service to his bride's parents in the form of performing household chores.[111] After the period of engagement has lapsed, the marital-union ceremony is observed by feastings, delivery of the whole bridewealth, slaughtering of acarabao or acow, playinggongs and nativexylophones, reciting prayers in theArabic andTausug languages, symbolic touching by the groom of his bride's forehead, and the couple's emotionless sitting-together ritual. In some instances when a groom is marrying a young bride, the engagement period may last longer until the Tausug lass has reached the right age to marry; or the matrimonial ceremony may proceed – a wedding the Tausug termed as “to marry in a handkerchief” orkawin ha saputangan – because the newly-wed man can live after marriage at the home of his parents-in-law but cannot have marital sex with his wife until she reaches the legal age.[111]
Tausug culture also allows the practice ofdivorce.[111]
There are also othercourtship,marriage, and wedding customs in the Philippines.
Muslims in theUnited States come from many backgrounds, but the largest segment are those from South Asia, Arab countries, and more recently from East Africa. According to a 2012 study, 95% of Muslim American couples interviewed had completed both the Nikah and had obtained a civil marriage license, which is required to have a marriage legally recognized in the United States.[112]
When it comes to Muslim weddings, the culture they come from heavily influences the kind of rituals that will take place. Similarly, American Muslims (e.g.African Americans,Caucasians, Hispanics and others) have elements of both local and Muslim influence.
The central event in all American Muslim weddings is theNikah. This is the actual wedding ceremony, usually officiated by a Muslim cleric, an Imam. Although a Nikah can be done anywhere including the bride's home or reception hall, it is preferable and usually done in a mosque.[82]
A Muslim Wedding Survey of North American Muslims, revealed among other things the merger of two or more cultures. For example, the two most popular wedding dress colors are red and white. Whereas in traditional Muslim countries marriages have been arranged, in the United States, 57.75% of weddings are through friends, online or people the person has met at work.[113]
... the majority of the Muslim scholars, who are of the Maaliki, Shaafi'i and Hanbali Schools of thought said that it is permissible for a father to force his minor daughter to get married even if she disagrees. However, the scholars of the Hanafi School of thought said that her permission must be sought and that he cannot force her to get married.
Shafi'i recommends strongly that daughters who have reached majority be consulted
In a misyar marriage the woman waives some of the rights she would enjoy in a normal marriage. Most misyar brides don't change their residences but pursue marriage on a visitation basis.
In March, Xinjiang authorities fired an ethnic Uyghur official for holding her wedding ceremony at home according to Islamic traditions instead of at a government-sanctioned venue. Salamet Memetimin, the communist party secretary for Chaka township's Bekchan village, in Hotan (in Chinese, Hetian) prefecture's Chira (Cele) country, was among 97 officials recently charged with disciplinary violations, according to an April 10 report by the state-run Hotan Daily newspaper. Local residents said the woman was relieved of her duties for taking her "nikah" marriage vows in her own home. "I think this may be a local policy unique to Xinjiang," the source said. "You have to first apply for a marriage certificate and then carry out the Islamic practice of nikah." "The imams aren't allowed to perform nikah if there is no marriage certificate, or they will be sent to prison."
