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Conventional sex, colloquially known asvanilla sex, issexual behavior that is within therange of normality for a culture or subculture. What is regarded as conventional sex depends on cultural and subcultural norms. It can also describepenetrative sex which does not have any element of BDSM, kink or fetish.[1]
Among heterosexual couples in theWestern world, for example, conventional sex often refers tosexual intercourse in themissionary position.[2]
TheBritish Medical Journal regards conventional sex between homosexual couples as "sex that does not extend beyond affection,mutual masturbation, andoral andanal sex."[3] In addition to mutual masturbation (includingmanual sex), penetrative sexual activity among same-sex pairings is contrasted bynon-insertive acts such asintercrural sex,frot andtribadism, although tribadism has been cited as a common but rarely discussed sexual practice among lesbians.[4][5]
The term "vanilla sex" is often used to describe conventional sex which does not include explicit elements ofBDSM,kink orfetishism.
In relationships where only one partner enjoys less conventional forms of sexual expression, the partner who does not enjoy such activities as much as the other is often referred to as thevanilla partner. As such, it is easy for them to be erroneously branded unadventurous insexual matters.[6] Through exploration with their partner, it may be possible for a more vanilla-minded person to discover new facets of their sexuality. As with any sexually active person, they may find their preferences on the commonly termed "vanilla-kink spectrum" are sufficient for their full satisfaction.[7]
The term "vanilla" in "vanilla sex" leverages thepolysemic nature of the term, meaning both literally "vanilla", the flavour of as the pod of theVanilla genus or the orchidVanilla planifolia, or "conventional", depending on the context.[8]
Vanilla flavour has been the most common flavour forice cream for over 200 years, leading to the flavor being associated with being plain, basic, or conventional.[9] The figurative meaning was added in the 1970s, though earlier examples exist.[10]
A notable early instance appears in a 1942LIFE magazine article, suggesting the metaphorical use was already familiar to the public. In 1997, the OED expanded the definition to include sexual contexts, particularly "vanilla sex," referring to conventional, non-kinky activity. Several citations stem from 1970s gay and lesbian discourse, coinciding with a rise in visibility and activism, indicating cultural shifts shaped the modern usage.[10]
Lesbians tribadism.
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