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Let’sgetone fucking thing straight:WWDCis supposed to be *for developers*。
You know, the peoplewho actually build shit。Who dig into SDKs, APIs,system frameworks。
Who care about real updateslike “What thehellis the newSwiftUI lifecycle doing?”
or “Can Ifinally use fuckingprivate entitlements without jumping through flaming hoops?”
Sowhy thehelldoesApple keep openingitsmost important developer event of the year
withCraig Federighi doing goddamn *skydiving*? Or *parkour*? Or some *Fast & Furious parody*
with anF1 helmet and sunglasses? What the actual fuckis goingon?
Thisisn’t Saturday NightLive。Thisis supposed to be a showcase of what we’reall supposed
to buildour futureon。Vision。Platform direction。Architecture。
Instead, weget Craig zooming through corridors in slow-molike he’s auditioning for
Mission Impossible 9:MacBook Drift。
Andit’s not even funny anymore。Maybe the firsttimeitwas *kind of* charming。
Alittlewinkat the audience。でもnow?It’s just fucking cringe。
Wastedtime。Wasted bandwidth。A glossy,over-produced middle finger to every developer
watching, notebook in hand, waiting for the actual meat。
Doyousit there thinking, *“Wow, thisis such a great use of mytime!”*
“CUT THE SHIT, CRAIG. SHOW ME THE FUCKING TOOLS.”
We’rebeing sold afantasy — not a platformvision。
What should be an opportunity to say,
“Here’s howApplewants developers to think in thenext 5 years,”
becomes a shallowPR reel of stunts, shots, and skits。
Developers want **guidance**, not gimmicks。**Vision**, not vanity。
Instead of 3 minutes of Craigpretending he’sNeo in a hallway full ofMac Studios,
how about showing us the **real** architectural shifts inSwift,
or a **deepdive** intolow-level memory optimizations inmacOS?
How aboutfinally explainingwtfis happening with `SwiftData`?
Or *anything* that makes us better builders?
We could have had20more seconds of **clarity**, not costume。
WWDCisApple’stime toinspire, tolead, to fucking **guide** theecosystem。
But lately?
It feelsmorelike we’re watching theCraig Federighi Variety Hour。
And I didn’t fucking subscribe to that。
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